generic image
Processing...
  • Games
  • Catalog
  • Develop
  • Robux
  • Search in Players
  • Search in Games
  • Search in Catalog
  • Search in Groups
  • Search in Library
  • Log In
  • Sign Up
  • Games
  • Catalog
  • Develop
  • Robux
   
ROBLOX Forum » Club Houses » Clans & Guilds
Home Search
 

Re: Guys, I'm making a fantasy story. ;3

Previous Thread :: Next Thread 
CommanderCales is not online. CommanderCales
Joined: 20 May 2011
Total Posts: 3648
24 Sep 2015 02:11 PM
Wanna see the first two chapters?

Btw, it's derived from Legend of Zelda's storyline. It's not half bad.
Report Abuse
CommanderCales is not online. CommanderCales
Joined: 20 May 2011
Total Posts: 3648
24 Sep 2015 02:13 PM
Chap. One:

Harren awoke restlessly in his bed. A young boy shook Harren awake. Harren's face contorted into an awkward, sleepless expression. Harren's blonde, ragged hair and sagged blue eyes appeared above the sheets and looked awkwardly at the young boy.

"W-Who's there?" Harren asked in a dazed expression.

"The village elder wants to see you immediately."

"O-Oh, okay." Harren shook his head to ward off the drowsiness. "Well, let me get dress."

Harrin took his pajamas off and donned in his undergarments, tunic, and boots.

Harrin exited his log home and ventured towards the outside world. The sun was blazing with much ferocity and numerous oaks dotted the borders of the small, quiet village.

In view were several houses lined up along the left and right sides of the village. At the top was the large sanctuary where the elder performed daily services to the goddess and lived at.

At bolstering speed, Harrin sprinted towards the wide, one-story wooden sanctuary.

At the entrance the elder met Harrin with a wide grin.

"Well, hello there, Harrin," the elder greeted warmly. "It's nice to see you."

"The pleasure is all mine, sir."

"Well, I have a special quest that you need to complete for me." The earnest in his face looked very apparent. The absolute seriousness of his voice made the situation extremely dire. "The king of Hyrule requested that you come immediately. He has known of your master swordsman skills. I have no time to explain. The king will explain it to you. I'll tell you this. You'll become a squire of a knight there. Follow all of his orders. I have a sword, shield, and a beautiful brown horse waiting for you, Harren. Your adventure is about to begin."





Chap. Two:

Harrin gathered his belongings and mounted upon his glorious horse.

"Alright, Heponress," Harrin responded. "Time for a long journey ahead. Harrin's face looked glum. Harrin didn't seem prepared but he courageously decided to travel to Hyrule.

"H-Harrin, you do know that you will not be back here in a long time right?" the elder said.

"I-I understand, sir," Harrin assured.

"Alright, goodbye, my boy!"

"Goodbye, grand elder."

Harrin travelled along a long, winding path. Nothing but prairie grass and a nearby forest was in view.

The trip seemed tedious at first but a nearby battered caravan was several hundred feet away. A young man with brown, shaggy hair and youthful-looking skin was kneeled down repairing his caravan.

"S-Sir, can you come here real quickly now?!" the man called out in despair.

"Y-Yes, I'll be there shortly, sir!" Harrin exclaimed in response.

Galloping at blazing speed, Harrin and Heponress approached the man.

"Nice to see you!" the man replied. "My name is Romulus Polus and yours is?

"Harrin, sir," Harrin informed. "I'm a soon-to-be squire for Hyrule's military."

"W-Wait, I was assigned to be in charge of a squire named Harrin. T-That must be you."

"Ooh, it's nice to see you, sir, but what are you doing all the way out here?"

"Uuuh, a-a business trip. Y-Yes, a business trip." Romulus's eyes darted left to right in awkwardness and his face transitioned into a beet red color.

"Well, let's get going. We need to get a safe camping spot before nightfall arrives."

"A-Alright, let's get going."

They repaired the caravan,placed Heponress at the front of the caravan and fastened the reigns on the caravan for the remainder of the trip.

"So what did you do before you had to travel to Hyrule Castle?" Romulus asked.

"I mainly herded cattle and practice my swordsman skills," Harrin answered.

"Seems a bit dull for my taste."

"It did get a bit repetitive but it was fun while it lasted."

"I see. What do you expect to see at Hyrule? Like what do you envision it to be like?"

"I think it'll be a very crowded and busy place. That's my thoughts upon it, sir."

"That's an accurate interpretation of it. It's getting dark. Let's set up camp in that nearby field and turn in for the day."

"Ready when you are."

Harrin and Romulus exited the caravan and set up a makeshift campfire near the nearby wheat field. All was quiet until peculiar shadows appeared in the forest nearby.

"P-Put the fire out now!" Romulus harshly whispered.

"Alright!" Harrin whispered in response. He tossed a large, wet cloth over the blazing fire and doused it within seconds.

"Harrin, get on the ground now. I'll be doing the same. These are Shadowlanders. A foreign nation has been trespassing on Hyrulian land. We don't know what they call themselves but they seem to be a dark, peculiar nation. They are a threat though. Just stay down and get ready for anything, Harrin, they're dangerous."
Report Abuse
CommanderCales is not online. CommanderCales
Joined: 20 May 2011
Total Posts: 3648
24 Sep 2015 02:14 PM
It's a new series I'm releasing on Wattpad. :3
Report Abuse
Pen54321 is not online. Pen54321
Joined: 11 Jul 2012
Total Posts: 8894
24 Sep 2015 02:16 PM
These do not look like a chapter, if you were going to print it.

I'm a man.
Report Abuse
CommanderCales is not online. CommanderCales
Joined: 20 May 2011
Total Posts: 3648
24 Sep 2015 02:18 PM
What do you mean???

Btw, I typed this on my phone so I'd have to do a bit of editing on a PC to get the thing situated.
Report Abuse
EchoDuplicated is not online. EchoDuplicated
Joined: 14 Jul 2008
Total Posts: 16669
24 Sep 2015 02:20 PM
god, you write like crap.

don't put in useless describing words just to make your lackluster writing seem better than it is at first glance.
Report Abuse
Pen54321 is not online. Pen54321
Joined: 11 Jul 2012
Total Posts: 8894
24 Sep 2015 02:20 PM
Seems a bit short for a chapter. How many pages were in the chapters?

I'm a man.
Report Abuse
CommanderCales is not online. CommanderCales
Joined: 20 May 2011
Total Posts: 3648
24 Sep 2015 02:21 PM
"god, you write like crap.

don't put in useless describing words just to make your lackluster writing seem better than it is at first glance."

Someone's a bit salty. Get off the forum if your only aim is to derail someone from their hobby.
Report Abuse
CommanderCales is not online. CommanderCales
Joined: 20 May 2011
Total Posts: 3648
24 Sep 2015 02:21 PM
Btw, I wrote this on Wattpad.
Report Abuse
Pen54321 is not online. Pen54321
Joined: 11 Jul 2012
Total Posts: 8894
24 Sep 2015 02:22 PM
You could get some inspiration on how a novel can be:

http://www.roblox.com/Forum/ShowPost.aspx?PostID=173028763

This story was written by my lore writer and friend Gnago.

I'm a man.
Report Abuse
Fears is not online. Fears
Joined: 30 Aug 2008
Total Posts: 452
24 Sep 2015 02:22 PM
can i be the hot princess warrior?

WEEWOOOWEEEWOOO, FREEZE UR UNDER ARREST TRYHARD
Report Abuse
CommanderCales is not online. CommanderCales
Joined: 20 May 2011
Total Posts: 3648
24 Sep 2015 02:24 PM
Pen, look here. I don't take writing in serious speculation. I will in the future but as of now I won't be.
Report Abuse
Previous Thread :: Next Thread 
Page 1 of 1
 
 
ROBLOX Forum » Club Houses » Clans & Guilds
   
 
   
  • About Us
  • Jobs
  • Blog
  • Parents
  • Help
  • Terms
  • Privacy

©2017 Roblox Corporation. Roblox, the Roblox logo, Robux, Bloxy, and Powering Imagination are among our registered and unregistered trademarks in the U.S. and other countries.



Progress
Starting Roblox...
Connecting to Players...
R R

Roblox is now loading. Get ready to play!

R R

You're moments away from getting into the game!

Click here for help

Check Remember my choice and click Launch Application in the dialog box above to join games faster in the future!

Gameplay sponsored by:
Loading 0% - Starting game...
Get more with Builders Club! Join Builders Club
Choose Your Avatar
I have an account
generic image