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Re: THE HISTORY OF 'MERICA.

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redlego98 is not online. redlego98
Joined: 11 Jul 2008
Total Posts: 8870
11 Sep 2015 05:59 PM
SO 'MERICA IS THE LAND OF THE FREE AND HOME OF THE BRAVE AND ONCE THERE WERE THOSE NATIVES WHO LIVED IN TENTS BECAUSE THEY WERE DUMB TO NOT KNOW WHAT BRICK IS AND BUILD HOUSES OUT OF IT, THEN COLUMBUS CAME, AND HIM BEING DUMB TOO THOUGHT THIS WAS INDIA, COLUMBUS SPEAKED TO THE NATIVES IN 'MERICAN (BECAUSE 'MERICAN IS THE LANGUAGE OF THE UNIVERSE) AND SAID "HEY 'YALL IS THIS INDIA" AND THE NATIVES REPLIED "LOLNO NOW GTFO" AND COLUMBUS THOUGHT THE NATIVES WERE CRAZY SO HE JUST SAID "WHAT DO YOU HAVE HERE IN INDIA" AND THE NATIVES "WELL WE HAVE THIS THING CALLED CORN AND TENTS AND THATS ABOUT IT" AND COLUMBUS SAID "WOW COOL! CAN WE HAVE ALL THIS AND JUST ABOUT ALL YOUR LAND" AND THE NATIVES REPLIED "LOLNO" AND COLUMBUS GOT MAD AND STARTED A MASS KILLING OF THE NATIVES SO THEY CAN CLAIM THE CORN AND TENTS AND THEN SUDDENLY CHUCK NORRIS APPEARED IN A GIANT PUFF OF SMOKE AND CREATED GEORGE WASHINGTON OUT OF THE DIRT OF 'MERICA AND THEN DISAPPEARED INTO A PUFF OF SMOKE AGAIN, GEORGE WASHINGTON LEAD 'MERICA BECAUSE CHUCK NORRIS MADE HIM, AND THEN HE DIED DUE TO A DUMB INCIDENT WE WONT TALK ABOUT, ANYWAYS 'MERICA DOING 'MERICAN THINGS EXPANDED TROUGHT THE CONTINENT AND ENCOUNTERED THE FRENCH, THE FRENCH SAID "WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN OUR LAND GET OUT" (THOUGH IT WASNT EXACTLY THAT BECAUSE THOSE PEASANTS DONT SPEAK 'MERICAN) AND THE 'MERICANS SAID "WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN" AND MIRACUOLOUSLY THE FRENCH SPOKE 'MERICAN AND SAID "I SAID GTFO YOU NERDS" AND THE 'MERICANS SAID "WHO SAID THIS WAS YOUR LAND" AND WITH THE HELP OF THEIR DAD (THE BRITS EVEN THOUGH THEIR LAME) KILLED THE FRENCH AND CLAIMED THEIR LAND, THOUGH SOON AFTER THEY SPLIT UP AND BECAME CANADA (A SLIGHTLY LESS COOLER VERSION OF 'MERICA WITH MAPLE SYRUP AND SNOW AND APOLOGIZING), AS THEY MARKED WEST THEY ENCOUNTERED THE SPANISH, THE 'MERICANS SAID "HOWDY LOSERS" AND THE SPANISH SAID "NO SPEAK AMERICANO" AND THEN THE 'MERICANS REPLIED "YOU DONT SPEAK 'MERICAN AND NOW YOU MUST DIE" AND THEN THEY DECLARED WAR AGAINST THE SPANISH AND GOT TEXAS, THE COOLEST STATE IN THE WORLD YEEHAW AND THE WILD WEST HAPPENED, AFTER THEY RAN OUT OF LAND THEY WENT "AW CRAP WE RAN OUT OF PEOPLE TO MURDER, IF ONLY A REBELLION SUDDENLY APPEARED SO I COULD DELIBERATELY OPPRESS THEM" AND THEN THE CONFEDERATES APPEARED IN THE SOUTH AND THE 'MERICANS SAID "HOLY CRAP MY WISH CAME TRUE", THE CONFEDERATES THEN SAID "HOWDY 'YALL, SEE THIS THING WHERE I MERCILESSLY BEAT BLACK PEOPLE SO THEY DO WHAT I SHOULD BE DOING BUT IM NOT BECAUSE IM LAZY? WELL IM BRINGING TO 'MERICA BECAUSE NOBODY LIKES A PERFECT COUNTRY, YEEHAW" AND THE 'MERICANS WENT "WELL THATS JUST DUMB" AND THEY WENT TO WAR AGAIN AND THEY WENT ALL "PEW PEW" AND THE CONFEDERATES WERE ALSO GOING "PEW PEW" BUT THE CONFEDERATES DIED BECAUSE THEY DIDNT HAVE ENOUGH PEWS, AND AFTER THEY BOUGHT ALASKA FROM DANG COMMIES (AND EXPLOITED ITS NATURAL RESOURCES AFTER THAT) AND TOTALLY PEACEFULLY ANNEXED HAWAII, A VOLCANIC GROUP OF ISLANDS WHICH WILL SINK INTO THE OCEAN IN LESS THAN 10 SECONDS THE 'MERICANS DECIDED TO LOOK AT YUROPOOR WHERE THEY DONT SPEAK 'MERICAN, AND IT TURNS OUT THE SERBS WERE KILLING AUSTRIANS AND EVERYONE GOT MAD AT THEM, SO THEY STARTED A HUGE WAR BECAUSE WAR SOLVES EVERYTHING AND 'MERICA SAID "WOW THATS DUMB" AND STAYED AWAY FROM THAT ONE, ONCE THE ISSUE WAS RESOLVED ANOTHER WAR SOMEHOW HAPPENED THERE BECAUSE THE YUROPOORS ARE SO STUPID THEY DONT LEARN FROM THEIR MISTAKES, SO 'MERICA BUSTED IN AND WENT ALL "YEEHAW IM A COWBOY" AND KILLED GERMANS AND ITALIANS AND THE FRENCH TOO, ALSO THERE WAS THIS THING WHERE THE DUMB JAPANESE BOMBED OUR PORTS AND WE BOMBED THEM BACK WITH MUCH MORE POWER BUT NOBODY CARES ABOUT THAT, ANYWAYS AFTER THE GERMANS WERE DEAD THE COMMIES THAT SOLD US ALASKA WERE ALL LIKE "WOW THANKS 'MERICA YOU SAVED US FROM THE GERMANS, BUT SINCE NATURAL ORDER CANT HAPPEN WITHOUT A BAD GUY, I MUST BE THE NEW BAD GUY" AND THE 'MERICANS WERE LIKE "OH NO ITS SUPERGERMANS" AND THE COMMIES STARTED PRODUCING NUCLEAR WEAPONS TOO, IT BECAME TOO RISKY FOR BOTH OF THEM TO PUSH THE BIG RED BUTTON TO LAUNCH A MISSILE BECAUSE THEY KNOW THEY WILL SEND SOME BACK AND THE WORLD WILL GO BOOM, SO THINGS HAPPENED IN AFGHANISTAN AND VIETNAM (WHICH 'MERICANS LOST, WHAT A SHAMEFUL EVENT) AND OTHER PLACES WE DONT CARE ABOUT, AND THEN THE COMMIES BUILT SOMETHING CALLED A "ROCKET" WHICH WAS JUST A BIGGER MISSILE THAT DOESNT REALLY CRASH INTO THINGS AND JUST PUT PEOPLE INTO SOMETHING CALLED "SPACE" WHICH IS THIS BLACK STUFF ABOVE OUR FLAT EARTH AND SINCE WE WERE TOO DUMB TO BUILD "ROCKETS" WE JUST TOOK THE COMMIE TECH AND BUILT OFF IT, AND WE ALSO STAGED LANDING ON THE MOON SO WE CAN MAKE THE COMMIES ANGRY, THE COMMIES WENT ALL "GRR THEY WENT TO THE MOON" AND THEY BLEW UP INTO A BILLION OTHER COUNTRIES THAT WERENT AS EVIL, WE WENT ALL "'MERICA SAVES THE DAY AGAIN" AND EVERYONE WAS LIKE "YOUR OUR HERO 'MERICA" UNTIL THE MUSLIMS CAME AND SAID "ALOHA SNACKBAR" AND BLEW UP TWO TOWERS AND THEY CRASHED OUR PLANES, BUT WE KICKED THEM OUT OF OUR FREE COUNTRY BECAUSE THEY WERENT FREE ENOUGH, AND THEN A WHOLE BUNCH OF THINGS HAPPENED THAT WERE NOT WORTH MENTIONING AND THAT BRINGS US TO 'MERICA TODAY.

'MERICA IS FULL OF HISTORY AND YOU SHOULD LEARN IT, SO I HOPE YOU LEARNED A THING OR TWO IN THIS THREAD, MAY GOD BLESS YOU, AND MAY GOD BLESS THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA

I claim no credit for this, I forgot who originally wrote it.

A strange game. The only winning move is not to play.
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redlego98 is not online. redlego98
Joined: 11 Jul 2008
Total Posts: 8870
11 Sep 2015 06:03 PM
b1

A strange game. The only winning move is not to play.
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Mavryn is not online. Mavryn
Joined: 08 Jan 2012
Total Posts: 4669
11 Sep 2015 06:03 PM
pls make a tldr version
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redlego98 is not online. redlego98
Joined: 11 Jul 2008
Total Posts: 8870
11 Sep 2015 06:04 PM
"pls make a tldr version"

No, learn to read.

A strange game. The only winning move is not to play.
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Swagillou is not online. Swagillou
Joined: 27 Feb 2015
Total Posts: 2606
11 Sep 2015 06:07 PM
tl;dr



Alt of thelegoboy8732489, got 1 dayer :( | Add 7.4K
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redlego98 is not online. redlego98
Joined: 11 Jul 2008
Total Posts: 8870
11 Sep 2015 06:08 PM
You people are lazy.

A strange game. The only winning move is not to play.
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Swagillou is not online. Swagillou
Joined: 27 Feb 2015
Total Posts: 2606
23 Jun 2016 09:45 PM
"THERE WERE THOSE NATIVES WHO LIVED IN TENTS BECAUSE THEY WERE DUMB TO NOT KNOW WHAT BRICK IS AND BUILD HOUSES OUT OF IT"

triggered


Alt of thelegoboy8732489 | add 15k
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