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Re: Realm of Tathorym

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xenoman90 is not online. xenoman90
Joined: 25 Jul 2011
Total Posts: 1949
05 Sep 2015 11:48 PM
(I cannot make a group of it, so instead just a forum.) There is another realm, by the name of Tathorym. There consists of five races, they are the Humans. Humans are obviously...human, they are balanced among all manners of fight, such as magic or weaponry, not so strong, but no too weak. Then there are the Tathorites, natives who have lived in the realm far longer than any of the races. They are tall, strong people gifted with magic of destructive purposes, especially fire. Very reclusive, living in huts guarded with wooden barricades. There are the Frozagans, hairy lizard people living in the harsh winters of Tathorym. Most of them have wings, but the rest do not. All are masters of ice magic and smithing. No other races can outmatch their cold-forged gear. And then the Xanjelians, strange insectoid creatures with tentacles writhing on their bodies. They make no noise whatever, making them great assassins. In their lands, there grows a special ore named Pruneag, highly explosive when used right, making the Xanjelians the best trap makers. Although, the Xanjelians have a disease that grow fungus, covering their bodies; it is highly contagious to all races. Lastly, the rarest race of all, Aladorians. Aladorians are never seen, but their automatons are, powered with the help of their adept electric magic. Only 9 Aladorians have been seen by each race. Their skin is silver, bright or dark, and they have no hair whatsoever.
Those might be the races, but there is a grand power each race has. The power to become great entities. The races can become Gods. Gods are elected when one person (or thing) have a power that surpasses any and all. They are immortal, until another rises up to their own powers; so they clash until one lives to become a God. More higher ranking are the Titans. Titans are mostly people who have been elected from their God ranks when their power grows even greater. They may be strong, but the Titans cannot go down upon their realm, they must stay in their own beautiful realm. Loathe the Gods for they can go back to their realm. But of course, there are rules for the Gods. After Gods and Titans, there is a small rank by the name of Incarnate. Nobody can surpass their power, nor can over two people become Incarnate. They are embodiments of two things, Evil and Good. Once they are elected Incarnates, both of them cannot leave, they share the realm of the Titans, with their own mighty castles. Only the seeds of evil and good they spread can touch the Realm of Tathorym. After this, are the Void Lords. Beings created when time and space was created. Nobody can become their ranks, nobody can kill them, they are creationists, creating new life, and destroying other life. There was only one, but something was able to fight them, to split them apart from the challenger's corruption, making a corrupted Void Lord. That is the Void Overlord. Is was never a rank, until the Overlord created it himself. Nobody could deny that "rank", not even the Void Lords. The Void Overlord is the highest thing of all, it can do whatever it pleases, whenever, no matter what. (I will answer questions, and thankyou for reading my own little lore.)

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halfredrider686V2 is not online. halfredrider686V2
Joined: 11 Jan 2014
Total Posts: 5
06 Sep 2015 09:25 AM
It's very good and detailed
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superboy5519 is not online. superboy5519
Joined: 10 Jan 2010
Total Posts: 7209
06 Sep 2015 09:32 AM
There's a thing called an "enter" key, sheesh.
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xenoman90 is not online. xenoman90
Joined: 25 Jul 2011
Total Posts: 1949
06 Sep 2015 01:13 PM
To hell with the enter key.
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xenoman90 is not online. xenoman90
Joined: 25 Jul 2011
Total Posts: 1949
06 Sep 2015 01:14 PM
And the enter key wouldn't work, so y'know.
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lncrediboy is not online. lncrediboy
Joined: 17 May 2013
Total Posts: 647
06 Sep 2015 01:20 PM
tl;dr



You don't just eat pringles ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
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xenoman90 is not online. xenoman90
Joined: 25 Jul 2011
Total Posts: 1949
06 Sep 2015 01:25 PM
What the hell does that mean? Get out.
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evilfishman589 is not online. evilfishman589
Joined: 26 Jan 2012
Total Posts: 6
06 Sep 2015 08:28 PM
I am actually impressed with the amount of thought that went into creating this lore. It all just makes sense to me.
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xenoman90 is not online. xenoman90
Joined: 25 Jul 2011
Total Posts: 1949
06 Sep 2015 08:39 PM
Thankyou, I've took my time in creating it.
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Riverseed is not online. Riverseed
Joined: 19 Feb 2014
Total Posts: 4
06 Sep 2015 09:51 PM
got to say sounds a bit weird but I can see you put a lot of effort thinking of this
But I think it should more realistic..

Don't judge me I think can what I want!
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superboy5519 is not online. superboy5519
Joined: 10 Jan 2010
Total Posts: 7209
06 Sep 2015 11:57 PM
>enter key doesn't work


hey

check this out

using the enter key

mind-blowing, isn't it?
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xenoman90 is not online. xenoman90
Joined: 25 Jul 2011
Total Posts: 1949
07 Sep 2015 01:01 AM
Ya got me. Enter was fine, tab wasn't working out atm. I've skipped over some grammatical errors when I wrote. Are you just going to point out a few flaws or you just came here to be a d**k?
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xenoman90 is not online. xenoman90
Joined: 25 Jul 2011
Total Posts: 1949
07 Sep 2015 01:02 AM
@Riverseed, how so more realistic? Explain, I want to know.
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superboy5519 is not online. superboy5519
Joined: 10 Jan 2010
Total Posts: 7209
07 Sep 2015 01:00 PM
>Ya got me. Enter was fine, tab wasn't working out atm. I've skipped over some grammatical errors when I wrote. Are you just going to point out a few flaws or you just came here to be a d**k?

Whoa, not not here to be rude, I'm just here to point out what you're doing wrong.
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xenoman90 is not online. xenoman90
Joined: 25 Jul 2011
Total Posts: 1949
07 Sep 2015 02:47 PM
Alright, there were some mixed messages there.
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xenoman90 is not online. xenoman90
Joined: 25 Jul 2011
Total Posts: 1949
07 Sep 2015 03:06 PM
"I'm just here to point out what you're doing wrong?" You didn't come to read what I've said? If you don't have anything to say about my forum then you can gladly gtfo.
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xenoman90 is not online. xenoman90
Joined: 25 Jul 2011
Total Posts: 1949
07 Sep 2015 04:30 PM
"Not not"? Really? You gonna accuse me for not using the enter key, but you mess up too? Funny how that works, hypocrite.
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superboy5519 is not online. superboy5519
Joined: 10 Jan 2010
Total Posts: 7209
07 Sep 2015 07:04 PM
>"Not not"? Really? You gonna accuse me for not using the enter key, but you mess up too? Funny how that works, hypocrite.

Well, there are things called "typos," and I'm going to assume, or rather hope, you already know what those are. You see, your error was out of ignorance, your lack of enter key use, while mine was produced from trying to complete conflicting tasks. Trying to do two things at once never works out, in other words. With that being said, it's not hypocrisy, so you may want to learn the definition of these big words before you start using them, or just analyze what people say before attacking them.

And it's clear that you don't do the latter, considering it took you three posts spread across nearly two hours to get out what you wanted to say.

On to your second post, though.

>"I'm just here to point out what you're doing wrong?" You didn't come to read what I've said? If you don't have anything to say about my forum then you can gladly gtfo.

That's a joke. It's just a silly quote I heard, but I guess you didn't see the humor in it.

Anyway, if you want criticism, I'll give you some.

First off, there are so many cliches.

-Multiple, hardly-differing races
-Magic that is undefined and bleak
-Races are in a war
-Races fight over immortality/ability to become a god
-Many more less significant ones

Secondly, the land is poorly described and so are the races. Not really going into the minute things, but you forgot to mention the regions of Tathorym in detail and you never thought about describing anything other than the appearance of the races. Should've gone into greater detail about their history, significant members of said race, culture, and more.

Next, is the grammar. It's something everyone struggles with, but spelling errors and improper use of commas and such is not what I'll be getting at when talking about what you wrote. It's the presentation. The sentence structure, the words used, and how your sentence flows mean a lot in writing, however I think that you may not know that because it's pretty godawful, not gonna sugar coat it. It really was a pain to read because of the things I mentioned.

I don't think I need to note on anything else though. You probably get the gist of what I'm saying.

Oh, and finally, this is a thread, not a forum. It goes like this -

Entertainment>Role-Playing>Thread

Entertainment is the forum. Role-Playing is the sub-forum. What you replied on is a thread.

Now you know.
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xenoman90 is not online. xenoman90
Joined: 25 Jul 2011
Total Posts: 1949
07 Sep 2015 08:03 PM
Damn, that's quite a comeback ya got there. Well sh*t, how am I gonna follow that? Hmmmmm. That is why I said to ask questions! Do you think this is the final and complete draft? No. I'm hoping to expand it more, to get rid of the clichés and such. There are obviously issues and not so in depth ideas I haven't written. I would love to discuss more, instead of ridiculing every damn thing I've said.
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superboy5519 is not online. superboy5519
Joined: 10 Jan 2010
Total Posts: 7209
07 Sep 2015 09:03 PM
See, I'd like to, but I really don't have time right now. Weekdays are filled up with school and practice after I get out of it. The time I get on the weekends I like to spend relaxing and doing whatever comes to mind. Sorry.
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xenoman90 is not online. xenoman90
Joined: 25 Jul 2011
Total Posts: 1949
08 Sep 2015 12:11 AM
No, it's alright. You can reply or message to me whenever since I check regularly.
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Riverseed is not online. Riverseed
Joined: 19 Feb 2014
Total Posts: 4
12 Sep 2015 03:33 PM
@xonoman90
ignore what I said I didn't mean to type it on this forum..
sorry..
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Sovereign24 is not online. Sovereign24
Joined: 29 Jun 2014
Total Posts: 636
12 Sep 2015 03:42 PM
No offence but my niece could come up with better lore than this this needs a better story, some history on each race full descriptions and locations. This is just mixed together and the sense it makes…

The sense has since

flown away into the wind

Of my dreams
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xenoman90 is not online. xenoman90
Joined: 25 Jul 2011
Total Posts: 1949
12 Sep 2015 06:48 PM
Some offence slightly taken, but I'll explain more. Full descriptions? Also, since I've haven't explain the lands as much, so here.

Humans are the thriving race, living in plains. Rolling green hills make for great grazing animals to feed, which the humans hunt for food. It is the biggest part of Tathorym, so humanity was able to spread fast. There are many towns spread around, but the most popular is the large kingdom which they call Sorrem (might change the name due to over popularity), or popularly know as "Sanctuary". Sanctuary's main castle is atop a hill, peering over the kingdom. In the shadow that the castle makes, is where bandits and thieves scurry about. There are many stores to browse for countless hours. Their religions are the Gods, and they worship many different ones. They erect shrines for each God, and demolish them if one falls from their power, preforming a ceremony for the fallen god, then the new one.

The Tathorites have been around longer than any other race. They live in the thick rainforest that they call "Eldayos". Eldayos consist of tall, slender giants, and primitive creatures swing from each tree which the tribals tend to attack indiscriminately. They stand normally about 8 to 9 feet tall, bulky appearance, low intellect, and teeth that stick out of their mouths from a large underbite. They only have tribal huts and wooden walls for protection, but since they're very secluded, no other race bothers them. They do have chieftains, which stand out with large mask they wear. Their religion is based on basic needs, so they worship the Titans instead, shrines created from wood and shrubbery. Since they have destructive purposes, the forest around them are shriveled and burnt, causing most species to be run out of their terrain.

Frozagans, grow hair for insulation in the cold tundras of Frozaga. They are descendants of a great dragon that lived in the tundra. The dragon is a strange creature, since no one knows what it is, a God, or a Titan. Frozaga is home of giant wyrms and dragons, making it a fierce land to live in. But, they reap the rewards of the many ore deposits that litter their land, thus, making them excellent smithies. They also believe that their land is for the most powerful race to live in, so they have a smug personality about themselves. These people are excellent Cyromancers, winged Frozagans that use Cyromancy on the battlefield is a formidable foe. There is a massive castle that most Frozagans live in, by the name of Faledorn, that has four castles, each with different customs of the Frozagans,Weapons, Armor, Ice, and Smithy. At the center of Faledorn, there is a large fountain that leads into an ocean.

Xanjelians, the strangest race of all, are incredibly bug-like, being upright but yet having mandibles and writhing tentacles. Typically, male Xanjelians have multiple small mandibles for speech, slender heads, and up to 8 eyes, with wings that buzz when they fly. Female Xanjelians are different, they have more sturdy and effective tentacles, using for latching onto prey and constricting them until they fall limp. They have no wings, and fewer eyes, although. They come from the land of Xanjeli, which is a swampy terrain, with other predatory insects that the Xanjelians use for chitin and other materials. Their capital is a large side of a cliff, where the hive of the Xanjelians resides in. The leader is referred to as The "Matriarch" or the "Brood Mother". They are incapable to worship Gods or Titans, but only their leader since they were hatched by her. If anything, The Matriarch is their god, their religion. Although a strange race, they have a disease which grows fungus on them, which is infectious to all races. This disease grows fungus all over the host, covering them in a thick carapace of fungus. Even more strange, The Matriarch cannot get this disease, which causes some of the Xanjelians to question her. The rebellious Xanjelians are casted out to go to other places, such as Sorrem.

Then there are the Aladorians, the "Little" race. They look very human, but their skin is silver, their bodies completely hairless. Nobody knows much about the Aladorians, but some know they came from their grand lost city, Alador. There is one salesman Aladorian, who sells machinery, automatons, and cybernetics. The other Aladorians that were spotted use electric magic in combat, which is a new kind of element to the other races.

(Please tell me if I've missed anything. Send me a message, invite me a party to discuss other things, or comment on here. And please, don't expect this to be the final-draft.)










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xenoman90 is not online. xenoman90
Joined: 25 Jul 2011
Total Posts: 1949
15 Sep 2015 11:17 PM
Alright, to make this clear, and to avoid more controversy, this is for discussions. That is not suppose to be the large, complete, copy of everything and all. I've put it up there to give an idea, and to discuss about things that should be added, things that seem confusing and strange, and things that sound cliché and whatnot. Saying stuff like "Incomplete" or "Needs more work" will not be tolerated anymore. As seen above (or farther up if people commented), the reply obviously shows more details than what I previously wrote (the original post, and yes I've missed a few things in the reply than the post. Pointing that out is alright, vulgarity unnecessary.)

Here are some examples of questions I will answer.

What does (Rank/Names) mean?
How can (Race/Title) become, or fight, a/n (Title)?
(Appearances or Anatomy of a certain race)
(You get the idea.)


Hopefully you now understand my frustrations and annoyances of previous replies, and in the future to answer actual questions and to avoid such disrespectful things.


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