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Re: ooc: some story ideas (review them plzz)

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pinkpinkbaby is not online. pinkpinkbaby
Joined: 04 May 2013
Total Posts: 727
02 Sep 2015 11:15 PM
okay so i have a few ideas then i've been thinking about writing but i want you guys to review and tell me changes that i need to make in the plots because i'm not sure if they're good right now so PLEASE DO SO.

Story One:

A girl named Bree lived 18 years as a human, until one night she was turned into a vampire and put into a vampire clan. The clan erased her memory of her human life and how she was turned into a vampire, but never told her why. About a hundred years after Bree was turned, she still wonders if there's a way to gain her memory back and find out what the clan seems to be hiding from her. One day, a man gets attacked and turned into a werewolf near the clan's cave. Bree agrees to help him get the werewolf blood out of him so he can go back to being normal, but on her first try at sucking it, she gets a flashback of her human life. She decides to continue sucking out the werewolf blood and get flashbacks of her past every night, until she learns that sucking werewolf blood is forbidden in her clan. She isn't sure what to do; listen to the people who have been keeping secrets from her, or follow her desire to learn more about herself.

Story Two:

A girl named Darcy and her friends go to their spring formal hoping to have the best night of their lives, unfortunately that's the opposite of what they get. Someone locks them in the school after the dance and threatens to kill all of them, but their main target is Darcy, and she isn't sure why. She learns that one of them is the murderer, and her goal is to find out who it is before it's too late.

ok guys i know i said this before but please review!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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MrStilts is not online. MrStilts
Joined: 07 Nov 2012
Total Posts: 3729
02 Sep 2015 11:51 PM
1) No
2) Less no, but I would have liked it to pander less on teenage girls going on a school dance.

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Danonymous is not online. Danonymous
Joined: 21 Jun 2012
Total Posts: 5748
03 Sep 2015 04:55 AM
Number two,
and start participating in RPs plis
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marc12267 is not online. marc12267
Joined: 25 Nov 2008
Total Posts: 25897
03 Sep 2015 08:54 AM
2 I guess
And I can't help imagining in the story:
"No Darcy, you are the murderer." One of her friends said.
And then Darcy was the killer. Or a skeleton popped out. Or both.

"This! Is! COPIED!" Englandish yelled as she kicked Minty into a deep hole.
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PickachuGirl is not online. PickachuGirl
Joined: 19 Apr 2008
Total Posts: 42645
03 Sep 2015 09:18 AM
Pink you should join some RPs
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overlord576 is not online. overlord576
Joined: 03 Apr 2011
Total Posts: 1022
03 Sep 2015 10:21 AM
is this real
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Danonymous is not online. Danonymous
Joined: 21 Jun 2012
Total Posts: 5748
03 Sep 2015 11:42 AM
This is real.
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Babyrihno is not online. Babyrihno
Joined: 20 Nov 2010
Total Posts: 2441
03 Sep 2015 01:40 PM
The second.


You have not surrounded me, you merely placed me in a target-rich environment.
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pinkpinkbaby is not online. pinkpinkbaby
Joined: 04 May 2013
Total Posts: 727
03 Sep 2015 03:46 PM
ok then ill write the second story
and it's not just girls there's going to be guys too
one of them is a teacher hmmmmm
btw sorry for spoiling it but darcy isn't the killer
it's who you least expect :o

also i do want to join roleplays
but i don't know which ones to join/which ones would accept me :(


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Babyrihno is not online. Babyrihno
Joined: 20 Nov 2010
Total Posts: 2441
03 Sep 2015 03:54 PM
If you joined mine, I'd accept you<3 It's caled Shadows Unbound


You have not surrounded me, you merely placed me in a target-rich environment.
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pinkpinkbaby is not online. pinkpinkbaby
Joined: 04 May 2013
Total Posts: 727
03 Sep 2015 03:56 PM
ok i see it ill read it through and make a cs :)


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Babyrihno is not online. Babyrihno
Joined: 20 Nov 2010
Total Posts: 2441
03 Sep 2015 03:57 PM
:D


You have not surrounded me, you merely placed me in a target-rich environment.
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MrStilts is not online. MrStilts
Joined: 07 Nov 2012
Total Posts: 3729
03 Sep 2015 06:28 PM
I should maybe clarify here that I don't think the second option is really at all fantastic. In fact, both of them are about as uninspired as Adam Sandler's sense of humor. The first one gives off horrible horrible Twilight vibes, while the second concept had already been done before in the Shyamalan movie "Devil". And that was a terrible movie.

In short, the only reason the second option gets my approval is because it doesn't feel like a Twilight fanfic.
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TheGamingCinema is not online. TheGamingCinema
Joined: 28 Nov 2012
Total Posts: 8212
03 Sep 2015 06:34 PM
1.
interesting idea
the whole vampire and werewolf thing bothers me though
aaa
2.
this rp seems like it would be very short
and not be very good in general


[We are the crystal pizzas, we'll always eat the day!]
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pinkpinkbaby is not online. pinkpinkbaby
Joined: 04 May 2013
Total Posts: 727
03 Sep 2015 07:07 PM
i'm pretty sure i watched devil before
that was the movie with the people trapped in the elevator right
and then one of them gets possessed??
yeah if that's the movie that i think you're talking about it's not the same thing
the story is basically darcy did something to one of the characters not so long ago and the character tries to get revenge by trying to kill her and her friends
but she doesn't remember what she did
and the killer leaves clues as to who they are and what darcy did and darcy uses the clues to find out what's going on
it sounds ok to me what do you guys think

also gaming it's not an rp it's a story but ok


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overlord576 is not online. overlord576
Joined: 03 Apr 2011
Total Posts: 1022
04 Sep 2015 11:28 PM
They're both awful.
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overlord576 is not online. overlord576
Joined: 03 Apr 2011
Total Posts: 1022
04 Sep 2015 11:29 PM
Unless you're trying to make a twilight sequel, then that's a slight improvement.
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pinkpinkbaby is not online. pinkpinkbaby
Joined: 04 May 2013
Total Posts: 727
05 Sep 2015 03:07 PM
i don't know how i would even make a twilight sequel
i've never even read the books or watched the movies

guys should i write the second story or just come up with different ideas because i'm getting mixed reviews here and i don't know what to do


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Babyrihno is not online. Babyrihno
Joined: 20 Nov 2010
Total Posts: 2441
05 Sep 2015 03:12 PM
Write the second story


You have not surrounded me, you merely placed me in a target-rich environment.
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pinkpinkbaby is not online. pinkpinkbaby
Joined: 04 May 2013
Total Posts: 727
05 Sep 2015 03:56 PM
ok thanks
ill start writing it now and ill either finish it tonight or tomorrow


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