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The lone Wolf

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IronGiant11 is not online. IronGiant11
Joined: 20 Jan 2012
Total Posts: 177
22 Aug 2015 07:22 PM
The lone wolf lost its pack,
He cries of lonesomeness at the night,
He eats alone with a weak snack,
Forever wondering why his pack had left,
He walks a lonely trail at the bright of night,
Finding a cave to sleep in tonight.
He wakes up at the early dawn,
Hoping to see his friends,
But he wakes up alone and sad,
He stays in the cave and lays,
The wolf stays and stays,
He does not move, He does not eat.
He dies and goes with mother-nature,
The earth devours his body and makes his grave,
The energy of the wolf flows through natures roots,
He became apart of nature, Bringing new life.

A single flower grows on the wolves grave,
Inside the flower is seeds, Waiting to grow and thrive,
The wind blows the seeds through a tempest,
Scattering the seeds everywhere,
The seeds are planted and growing new life,
All because of the lone wolf who lost it's pack.
-----------------

Created by me; Inspired by a great artist and my feelings and thoughts. Feedback and suggestions are welcome; i can take some harsh suggestions and feedback(As long if they are smart and really thought of.)

Other poem:http://www.roblox.com/Forum/ShowPost.aspx?PostID=172111056
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LordFunkius is not online. LordFunkius
Joined: 17 May 2009
Total Posts: 42
22 Aug 2015 07:50 PM
-A pretty basic poem
-Rhyming pattern all over the place
-Limited vocabulary
-Strange line lengths
-The poem doesn't flow well at all

You've got to put thought into a poem, about how the poem can impact the reader, how you want the words to flow, a wide vocabulary to get across emotion (depending on the poem) and keep a set theme.


Oh and there are quite a few grammatical errors in this piece as well.


Better luck next time :/
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IronGiant11 is not online. IronGiant11
Joined: 20 Jan 2012
Total Posts: 177
22 Aug 2015 07:57 PM
The poem is a free verse poem and can you tell me the grammar issues?
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