generic image
Processing...
  • Games
  • Catalog
  • Develop
  • Robux
  • Search in Players
  • Search in Games
  • Search in Catalog
  • Search in Groups
  • Search in Library
  • Log In
  • Sign Up
  • Games
  • Catalog
  • Develop
  • Robux
   
ROBLOX Forum » Pop-Culture (Music/Books/Movies/TV)
Home Search
 

Re: The lone wolf.

Previous Thread :: Next Thread 
IronGiant11 is not online. IronGiant11
Joined: 20 Jan 2012
Total Posts: 177
22 Aug 2015 06:36 PM
The lone wolf lost's its pack,
He cry's of lonesomeness at the night,
He eats alone with a weak snack,
Forever wondering why his pack had left,
He walks a lonely trail at the bright of night,
Finding a cave to sleep in tonight.
He wakes up at the early dawn,
Hoping to see his friends,
But he wakes up alone and sad,
He stays in the cave and lays,
The wolf stays and stays,
He does not move, He does not eat.
He dies and goes with mother-nature,
The earth devours his body and makes his grave,
The energy of the wolf flows through natures roots,
He became apart of nature, Bringing new life.

A single flower grows on the wolfs grave,
Inside the flower is seeds, Waiting to grow and thrive,
The wind blows the seeds through a tempest,
Scattering the seeds everywhere,
The seeds are planted and growing new life,
All because of the lone wolf who lost it's pack.


Created by me; Inspired by a great artist and my feelings and thoughts. Feedback and suggestions are welcome; i can take some harsh suggestions and feedback(As long if they are smart and really thought of.)

Other poem: http://www.roblox.com/Forum/ShowPost.aspx?PostID=172085001
Report Abuse
EmancipationSuite is not online. EmancipationSuite
Joined: 27 Dec 2010
Total Posts: 30027
22 Aug 2015 06:38 PM
you must like power metal
Report Abuse
IronGiant11 is not online. IronGiant11
Joined: 20 Jan 2012
Total Posts: 177
22 Aug 2015 06:40 PM
I'm afraid I don't know what that is.
Report Abuse
EmancipationSuite is not online. EmancipationSuite
Joined: 27 Dec 2010
Total Posts: 30027
22 Aug 2015 06:41 PM
i guess i was wrong
Report Abuse
InfantAnnihilators is not online. InfantAnnihilators
Joined: 21 Aug 2015
Total Posts: 40
22 Aug 2015 06:41 PM
I cri evry tim
Report Abuse
sangyourrefrain is not online. sangyourrefrain
Joined: 02 May 2015
Total Posts: 4343
22 Aug 2015 06:42 PM
it's not bad, honestly, but your grammar is awful.


Report Abuse
IronGiant11 is not online. IronGiant11
Joined: 20 Jan 2012
Total Posts: 177
22 Aug 2015 06:43 PM
Can you tell me what's wrong?
Report Abuse
EmancipationSuite is not online. EmancipationSuite
Joined: 27 Dec 2010
Total Posts: 30027
22 Aug 2015 06:44 PM
is english your first language
Report Abuse
IronGiant11 is not online. IronGiant11
Joined: 20 Jan 2012
Total Posts: 177
22 Aug 2015 06:45 PM
Yes. I'm pretty new to writing poems; so I knew there might be some mistakes.
Report Abuse
EmancipationSuite is not online. EmancipationSuite
Joined: 27 Dec 2010
Total Posts: 30027
22 Aug 2015 06:45 PM
how old are you
Report Abuse
IronGiant11 is not online. IronGiant11
Joined: 20 Jan 2012
Total Posts: 177
22 Aug 2015 06:46 PM
between 15/16.
Report Abuse
sangyourrefrain is not online. sangyourrefrain
Joined: 02 May 2015
Total Posts: 4343
22 Aug 2015 06:53 PM
duuuuude

i could read and write on a high school senior's level when i was nine

but anywho, your biggest problem seems to be with plurals and apostrophes. for example, it's 'wolves', not 'wolfs'. 'it's' is a contraction meaning it is - if you're indicating that the wolf possesses something, you would use 'its'.
Report Abuse
InfantAnnihilators is not online. InfantAnnihilators
Joined: 21 Aug 2015
Total Posts: 40
22 Aug 2015 06:57 PM
Sorry sangyourrefrain forgot we can't all be as perfect as you.
Report Abuse
sangyourrefrain is not online. sangyourrefrain
Joined: 02 May 2015
Total Posts: 4343
22 Aug 2015 06:58 PM
sorry you're jelly of my amazing grammer skillz

Report Abuse
InfantAnnihilators is not online. InfantAnnihilators
Joined: 21 Aug 2015
Total Posts: 40
22 Aug 2015 07:01 PM
Im not a jelly how rude
Report Abuse
sangyourrefrain is not online. sangyourrefrain
Joined: 02 May 2015
Total Posts: 4343
22 Aug 2015 07:01 PM
my amazing gramer turned u in2 1 get rekt lmaoooooooooooo XP
Report Abuse
IronGiant11 is not online. IronGiant11
Joined: 20 Jan 2012
Total Posts: 177
22 Aug 2015 07:11 PM
Thank you for telling me this; i will fix this up. I really don't know how I missed those..
Report Abuse
sangyourrefrain is not online. sangyourrefrain
Joined: 02 May 2015
Total Posts: 4343
22 Aug 2015 07:13 PM
generally speaking, if you're not sure, spell-check is your best friend

Report Abuse
IronGiant11 is not online. IronGiant11
Joined: 20 Jan 2012
Total Posts: 177
22 Aug 2015 07:13 PM
Thanks again.
Report Abuse
IronGiant11 is not online. IronGiant11
Joined: 20 Jan 2012
Total Posts: 177
22 Aug 2015 07:14 PM
I'm going to repost a fixed version of this.
Report Abuse
Previous Thread :: Next Thread 
Page 1 of 1
 
 
ROBLOX Forum » Pop-Culture (Music/Books/Movies/TV)
   
 
   
  • About Us
  • Jobs
  • Blog
  • Parents
  • Help
  • Terms
  • Privacy

©2017 Roblox Corporation. Roblox, the Roblox logo, Robux, Bloxy, and Powering Imagination are among our registered and unregistered trademarks in the U.S. and other countries.



Progress
Starting Roblox...
Connecting to Players...
R R

Roblox is now loading. Get ready to play!

R R

You're moments away from getting into the game!

Click here for help

Check Remember my choice and click Launch Application in the dialog box above to join games faster in the future!

Gameplay sponsored by:
Loading 0% - Starting game...
Get more with Builders Club! Join Builders Club
Choose Your Avatar
I have an account
generic image