|
| 22 Aug 2015 06:36 PM |
The lone wolf lost's its pack, He cry's of lonesomeness at the night, He eats alone with a weak snack, Forever wondering why his pack had left, He walks a lonely trail at the bright of night, Finding a cave to sleep in tonight. He wakes up at the early dawn, Hoping to see his friends, But he wakes up alone and sad, He stays in the cave and lays, The wolf stays and stays, He does not move, He does not eat. He dies and goes with mother-nature, The earth devours his body and makes his grave, The energy of the wolf flows through natures roots, He became apart of nature, Bringing new life.
A single flower grows on the wolfs grave, Inside the flower is seeds, Waiting to grow and thrive, The wind blows the seeds through a tempest, Scattering the seeds everywhere, The seeds are planted and growing new life, All because of the lone wolf who lost it's pack.
Created by me; Inspired by a great artist and my feelings and thoughts. Feedback and suggestions are welcome; i can take some harsh suggestions and feedback(As long if they are smart and really thought of.)
Other poem: http://www.roblox.com/Forum/ShowPost.aspx?PostID=172085001 |
|
|
| Report Abuse |
|
|
| |
|
|
| 22 Aug 2015 06:40 PM |
| I'm afraid I don't know what that is. |
|
|
| Report Abuse |
|
|
| |
|
| |
|
|
| 22 Aug 2015 06:42 PM |
it's not bad, honestly, but your grammar is awful.
|
|
|
| Report Abuse |
|
|
|
| 22 Aug 2015 06:43 PM |
| Can you tell me what's wrong? |
|
|
| Report Abuse |
|
|
|
| 22 Aug 2015 06:44 PM |
| is english your first language |
|
|
| Report Abuse |
|
|
|
| 22 Aug 2015 06:45 PM |
| Yes. I'm pretty new to writing poems; so I knew there might be some mistakes. |
|
|
| Report Abuse |
|
|
| |
|
| |
|
|
| 22 Aug 2015 06:53 PM |
duuuuude
i could read and write on a high school senior's level when i was nine
but anywho, your biggest problem seems to be with plurals and apostrophes. for example, it's 'wolves', not 'wolfs'. 'it's' is a contraction meaning it is - if you're indicating that the wolf possesses something, you would use 'its'. |
|
|
| Report Abuse |
|
|
|
| 22 Aug 2015 06:57 PM |
| Sorry sangyourrefrain forgot we can't all be as perfect as you. |
|
|
| Report Abuse |
|
|
|
| 22 Aug 2015 06:58 PM |
sorry you're jelly of my amazing grammer skillz
|
|
|
| Report Abuse |
|
|
| |
|
|
| 22 Aug 2015 07:01 PM |
| my amazing gramer turned u in2 1 get rekt lmaoooooooooooo XP |
|
|
| Report Abuse |
|
|
|
| 22 Aug 2015 07:11 PM |
| Thank you for telling me this; i will fix this up. I really don't know how I missed those.. |
|
|
| Report Abuse |
|
|
|
| 22 Aug 2015 07:13 PM |
generally speaking, if you're not sure, spell-check is your best friend
|
|
|
| Report Abuse |
|
|
| |
|
|
| 22 Aug 2015 07:14 PM |
| I'm going to repost a fixed version of this. |
|
|
| Report Abuse |
|
|