|
| 27 Jul 2015 02:55 PM |
--PROLOGUE-- (CHARACTER INTRODUCTION)
There were 2 soldiers, each on different sides of No Mans Land. Both were young and eager to fight, at least one of them was.
One of them was Kraig Wernher. He was born in Munich, in 1897. He will have spent most of his childhood there, until his conscription into the army in 1914. To the dismay of his parents, Kraig was happy about the conscription. Oblivious of what lied ahead in the muddy hellholes called trenches.
The other soldier, was Arran Lowley. He was born in London of Scottish origin in 1897. As Kraig did, he spent most of his childhood in his birthtown. But, in a different case, he was angry about his conscription, which took place in 1915. But he decided to make the best of it and act like he was happy.
They both set out to No Mans Land, on different sides, anxious to know what will happen to them.
(Please correct anything you see.) |
|
|
| Report Abuse |
|
|
|
| 27 Jul 2015 03:00 PM |
(Oops, forgot to tell how the characters look. My bad c:)
Kraig was average height. Skinny build. Gaunt appearance. Dark brown hair with bright blue eyes.
Arran was slightly shorter than Kraig, but had a more muscular build. Blondish-brown hair with brown eyes. |
|
|
| Report Abuse |
|
|
| |
|
|
| 27 Jul 2015 04:14 PM |
Okay, i have some constructive criticism, you made No Man's Land seem as if it was miles long, also, It was (I believe) Treason to head over the trench without permission.
"Da-Da-Da, Da-Di-Da Daaaa!" - Red |
|
|
| Report Abuse |
|
|
|
| 27 Jul 2015 06:07 PM |
| They both didn't do that, this is just the prologue and character introduction. And No Mans Land was atleast 0.4 or 0.5 miles long. |
|
|
| Report Abuse |
|
|
|
| 27 Jul 2015 06:08 PM |
| http://spartacus-educational.com/FWWnoman.htm |
|
|
| Report Abuse |
|
|
nemanjak
|
  |
| Joined: 01 Aug 2009 |
| Total Posts: 4899 |
|
|
| 27 Jul 2015 06:15 PM |
| Somehow this seems too, small. |
|
|
| Report Abuse |
|
|
|
| 27 Jul 2015 06:17 PM |
| This is just the prologue. Each part is planned to have 4 paragraphs. |
|
|
| Report Abuse |
|
|
nemanjak
|
  |
| Joined: 01 Aug 2009 |
| Total Posts: 4899 |
|
|
| 27 Jul 2015 06:25 PM |
| I mean, if it's a prologue you should've went deeper into the backstory of the 2 soldiers, right? |
|
|
| Report Abuse |
|
|
|
| 27 Jul 2015 06:36 PM |
| :c Well, just tell me what I forgot. |
|
|
| Report Abuse |
|
|
|
| 28 Jul 2015 04:06 PM |
Kraig, Full Backstory
Kraig was born near Munich in 1897 to a family of poor farmers in the Munich countryside. When he was 4 years old, his parents divorced in 1901. Leaving him to live with his dad, rarely seeing his mother. When he went into school in 1902, he immediately wanted to go home. No matter how hard he tried to be good in school, he was constantly scolded by his dad and his teacher. After years of scolding, bullying, and overall misery, at grade 11, Kraig asked his Dad if he could drop out of his current high school. His dad was outraged at the proposition. After a few minutes of silence, his dad had told him he was being kicked out. Kraig, being emotionally hardened after years of being bullied, showed almost no reaction. He quietly gathered his things, and headed out. His dad didn't expect Kraig to take him seriously, but he was surprised to see him walking away from his home. Kraig would head towards Hamburg, eventually to work at a bar. After being homeless for a year, he had saved enough money to buy an apartment. He was excited to finally set foot in a new home. Though, his celebration was short lived. After a few days after his birthday, which he celebrated himself, a few German recruitment officers came knocking on his door, telling him of his conscription. Kraig happily accepted, to the surprise of the officers. They walked away after a few minutes of talking. Kraig went back into his apartment, mailing his dad a copy of the conscription papers. When his dad went to his mailbox and pulled out the papers, looking them through, he saw the German Army conscription paper. He was a mixture of angry and heartbroken. He would shake his head slowly and walk back inside his farm. A month later, Kraig would walk to the local German Army encampment. He would show the soldiers his copy of the conscription paper. They would tell him his equipment would be in the second tent. He'd grab his equipment and would head for the truck, which was heading towards the Western Front.
(That was Kraig's backstory, and pre-prologue story. Arran's backstory should come within a few days.) |
|
|
| Report Abuse |
|
|
|
| 28 Jul 2015 04:07 PM |
sheesh, word wall
~~ this is your captain speaking - you are all about to die ~~ |
|
|
| Report Abuse |
|
|
| |
|
|
| 28 Jul 2015 04:11 PM |
Kraig was born near Munich in 1897 to a family of poor farmers in the Munich countryside. When he was 4 years old, his parents divorced in 1901. Leaving him to live with his dad, rarely seeing his mother. When he went into school in 1902, he immediately wanted to go home. No matter how hard he tried to be good in school, he was constantly scolded by his dad and his teacher. After years of scolding, bullying, and overall misery, at grade 11, Kraig asked his Dad if he could drop out of his current high school. His dad was outraged at the proposition. After a few minutes of silence, his dad had told him he was being kicked out. Kraig, being emotionally hardened after years of being bullied, showed almost no reaction. He quietly gathered his things, and headed out. His dad didn't expect Kraig to take him seriously, but he was surprised to see him walking away from his home. Kraig would head towards Hamburg, eventually to work at a bar. After being homeless for a year, he had saved enough money to buy an apartment. He was excited to finally set foot in a new home. Though, his celebration was short lived. After a few days after his birthday, which he celebrated himself, a few German recruitment officers came knocking on his door, telling him of his conscription. Kraig happily accepted, to the surprise of the officers. They walked away after a few minutes of talking. Kraig went back into his apartment, mailing his dad a copy of the conscription papers. When his dad went to his mailbox and pulled out the papers, looking them through, he saw the German Army conscription paper. He was a mixture of angry and heartbroken. He would shake his head slowly and walk back inside his farm. A month later, Kraig would walk to the local German Army encampment. He would show the soldiers his copy of the conscription paper. They would tell him his equipment would be in the second tent. He'd grab his equipment and would head for the truck, which was heading towards the Western Front.
[NON-WORDWALL VERSION] |
|
|
| Report Abuse |
|
|
|
| 28 Jul 2015 04:12 PM |
| ffs in the actual post the spaces are smaller damnit |
|
|
| Report Abuse |
|
|
|
| 28 Jul 2015 04:12 PM |
its like 3 lines less lmaooo
"Dont kill my vibe." Said TheGamingBadgerCinema as he lobbed grenades at everyone. |
|
|
| Report Abuse |
|
|
|
| 28 Jul 2015 04:17 PM |
| 3 paragraphs. Better than 1 whole paragraph without any spaces. Now get back on topic please o.e |
|
|
| Report Abuse |
|
|
|
| 28 Jul 2015 04:18 PM |
pls dont use emotes
i hate them
"Dont kill my vibe." Said TheGamingBadgerCinema as he lobbed grenades at everyone. |
|
|
| Report Abuse |
|
|
|
| 28 Jul 2015 04:20 PM |
| o.e ;) :) ;( :( c: c; ;c :c :] :[ o.o O-O O_o |
|
|
| Report Abuse |
|
|
|
| 30 Jul 2015 11:02 AM |
| But seriously, back on topic. |
|
|
| Report Abuse |
|
|