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Re: Rookie's Beginning ~ Simball (First rap so gimme some tips)

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SignMePlease is not online. SignMePlease
Joined: 01 Jul 2015
Total Posts: 2
02 Jul 2015 05:41 PM
Yo, I wanna be the best in this decade
any rapper dissin me ill return with shade
then ill cut up his family like a razor blade
cause im bout to blow up on the mic like an air raid
its gonna start a fire so call the fire brigade
cause i didnt start spittin just for fame
i wanted to start a flame that burned bright in the game
cause these other rappers claim to be different
but we all know that they are all the same
think of a bar with a cheap punchline off of the brain
then the fire shots but dont know where to aim
so they try to pop shots at people making history
then they wonder why they fail. they think its a mystery
then they bow down to people and start askin for their sympathy
its all a bit of trickery so they can get the victory
so as i spit this rap in hopes of becoming signed
i will try to demonstrate for you my lyrical mind



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ChanelG is not online. ChanelG
Joined: 12 Apr 2013
Total Posts: 582
02 Jul 2015 05:43 PM
Not bad, just fix the often grammatical errors. 7/10
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devin12345flash is not online. devin12345flash
Joined: 22 Jul 2012
Total Posts: 23
02 Jul 2015 06:29 PM
Man I like you ^
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TheUnknownZodiac is not online. TheUnknownZodiac
Joined: 28 Jun 2012
Total Posts: 2809
02 Jul 2015 08:06 PM
Add multis, more mosiac rhymes, improve punchlines, add metaphors and similes.
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superninjapig6 is not online. superninjapig6
Joined: 12 Apr 2014
Total Posts: 797
02 Jul 2015 08:16 PM
Take time to write your songs dont just put down the first thing that pops into your head
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Survivalman246 is not online. Survivalman246
Joined: 01 Apr 2014
Total Posts: 104
02 Jul 2015 09:19 PM
You did good I'm a rookie too
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SignMePlease is not online. SignMePlease
Joined: 01 Jul 2015
Total Posts: 2
03 Jul 2015 11:53 AM
Thanks for tips. Will improve on these :)
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Finn102 is not online. Finn102
Joined: 19 Feb 2011
Total Posts: 24930
03 Jul 2015 12:14 PM
if ur going to do near rhymes do multis to keep the sound
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