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Re: Tsnaumi [RP]

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GrillRunt is not online. GrillRunt
Joined: 01 Sep 2013
Total Posts: 113
22 Jun 2015 05:42 AM
You are having a family day with the rest of you family. You have 3 other siblings besides youself. You guys visit the local mall by the beach and shop for a few hours, Its 7:30 PM and sudden y hear others yelling "HELP!, "SAVE YOUR CHILDREN!, and "RUN!". You look at your mom for answer and she is staring directly at the water. You turn over to see whats so scary and you almost faint from shock. Its a giant tsnaumi. It could whipe out the entire city.

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You are a (12-14) year old and dont know what to do. You look at your parents but they are almost in shock and cant react to anything. (This will continue at the bottom.)

Something yku should know: This is barely me 2nd roleplay please no mean replies!

Rules - Simple RPing rules. Dont be to bloody like "my family was killed and blood was everywhere."

--------

Name: (Creative Names Please!)

Age: (12-14 Around there, You may go to 15 and 16)

Bio: Be creative

Current Emotions: (Make one)

-------
(Now continueing from above,)

You either,

A. Grab your parents and run.

B. Grab your siblings and tell them to make a run for it and find someone to leave with

C. Run because you are scared.

D. Make your own story.

(Please continue from here if you can :) )
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jhewoi is not online. jhewoi
Joined: 06 Jan 2013
Total Posts: 2230
22 Jun 2015 05:58 AM
Name: Jonathan Adams

Age: 16

Bio: Jonathan used to be a very promising applicate for ILA, but then he quit it after a few months in pursuit of games and exercise.

Current Emotions: Scared
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GrillRunt is not online. GrillRunt
Joined: 01 Sep 2013
Total Posts: 113
22 Jun 2015 06:01 AM
(Making my own dont judge meh ;c)

Name: Ethan James Cephaus

Age: 14

Bio: Sensitive, Scared Easily, Hates Socializing

Emotion: Shocked
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TensaZen is not online. TensaZen
Joined: 13 Dec 2012
Total Posts: 12
22 Jun 2015 06:31 AM
Name: Zen

Age: 14

Bio: Young mostly cool and relaxed boy who doesn't like getting into drama, and always thinking of a strategy for whatever the situation.

Current Emotions: Scared and eager to get out.

-Continued- My parents start running with my younger sister, I run after them but i'm hit by someone on the right side and I get stumbled over...To be continued (Sorry thats all i got v.v).
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hottyboy5656 is not online. hottyboy5656
Joined: 14 Mar 2013
Total Posts: 3136
22 Jun 2015 07:21 AM
Name: Stargain Misu

Age: 13

Bio: Always normally quiet. Awkward. Otaku.

Current Emotions: Freaked out.
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jailbreak952 is not online. jailbreak952
Joined: 23 Aug 2009
Total Posts: 10885
22 Jun 2015 07:22 AM
No offense, but this is horrid.

No plot depth
the way you wrote it makes it seem that EVERYONE has 3 siblings.

The backstory is the shortest part - that's bad

The way the plot is written is more like a grocery list than a story.

Develop more. You don't want to be releasing crappy RPs every day, you want to be releasing great RPs once a month.
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jhewoi is not online. jhewoi
Joined: 06 Jan 2013
Total Posts: 2230
22 Jun 2015 07:23 AM
If you want, I can rewrite the backstory for you.
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jailbreak952 is not online. jailbreak952
Joined: 23 Aug 2009
Total Posts: 10885
22 Jun 2015 07:23 AM
I would be glad to help develop anyone's ideas.
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HJF55555 is not online. HJF55555
Joined: 26 Mar 2013
Total Posts: 10
22 Jun 2015 01:48 PM
####:###########: #########:From Canada has 2 ################### ########: #########
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HJF55555 is not online. HJF55555
Joined: 26 Mar 2013
Total Posts: 10
22 Jun 2015 01:49 PM
Oops didnt get them in a line sorry bout that
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