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| 16 Jun 2015 05:38 PM |
It starts about 2000 years ago at 1 AD. There was a Jewish dude born, where he was born isn't clear and the holy book describing it would be purposefully contradictory.
Then, this guy is the Messiah. He is the son of God, he was created when God decided to put his junk inside of a young maiden woman and get her pregnant.
The reason God did this is because 6000 years ago he created the first two humans without the knowledge of good and evil and then got pissed at them when they didn't know how to do good. He wasn't a very bright God.
But his temper tantrum ran on so much that he began torturing people by the billion in eternal fire. Every time someone would die he'd snatch up their soul and burn it so they scream and cry but he just sits there, amused by all the cries of pain and sorrow he created.
He decided that human sacrifice is a pretty cool idea, so he made a pact with humanity that he would cease brutally torturing them if they would sacrifice his son. They did, and the pact was complete.
However, this God threw in a little extra fine print. Only people who believed that this actually occurred would be saved from brutal and eternal torture. And the only evidence given to believe would be an incredibly contradictory holy book that he wouldn't even bother trying to preserve.
If you accept this account based on no evidence except for some old contradictory book, you get eternal paradise. Well, sort of. You're brainwashed to always be happy, losing your freewill, and made to be mindless drones worshiping God forever. If you don't accept the account, no matter how good of a person you are, you will be brutally tortured for all of eternity.
That's about the summation of the religion. I haven't decided what to call it, yet. |
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circirak
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Mousekin
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| 16 Jun 2015 05:40 PM |
inb4flamewar
If you're going to crap in a post, Don't put it in a post, Put it in the toilet! | 5000th post 5/26/15 |
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Zytelk
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OnGP
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| Joined: 27 Nov 2010 |
| Total Posts: 8388 |
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| 16 Jun 2015 05:42 PM |
>Call it "stupiddeerism"
V EDGY LOL |
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| 16 Jun 2015 05:43 PM |
| Screw you guys. Spaghetti monster will lead the way for me. <3 |
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Hearsay
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| Joined: 21 Jul 2008 |
| Total Posts: 22890 |
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| 16 Jun 2015 05:44 PM |
^ LOL YGDE
Lets call it ytinaitsirhc. :D |
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D18Alt
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| Joined: 01 May 2014 |
| Total Posts: 2726 |
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| 16 Jun 2015 05:44 PM |
Call it Christianity because that is what it already is.
OT's official white male cis scum |
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Tappier
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| Joined: 10 Apr 2013 |
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Zytelk
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| Joined: 09 Mar 2012 |
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| 16 Jun 2015 05:50 PM |
No. I will persuade you that this is plagiarized. How you ask? WITH CUTENESS!
http://cdn.inquisitr.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/Space-Cat-Meme.jpeg |
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| 16 Jun 2015 05:51 PM |
| I support any religion that hates the LGBT. |
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| 16 Jun 2015 05:51 PM |
| http://inteligenciaeconomica.com.pt/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/confused-cats.jpg |
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| 16 Jun 2015 05:52 PM |
| @Sonic And i support any Religion that allows me to not have to breed. |
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| 16 Jun 2015 05:52 PM |
| tappier he is bothered by it because it affects our daily lives when people like you exist |
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| 16 Jun 2015 05:52 PM |
@sonic Why is that?
i somehow remembered that |
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| 16 Jun 2015 05:53 PM |
| http://www.roblox.com/games/123194744/surprise |
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| 16 Jun 2015 05:53 PM |
@superior
It's quite simple.
I hate them. |
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Abandion
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| Joined: 17 Apr 2010 |
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| 16 Jun 2015 05:55 PM |
| Some troll already invented this thousands of years ago, and yet it's still ruining the human population. |
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md524997
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| Joined: 20 Nov 2011 |
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| 16 Jun 2015 06:05 PM |
There are three types of sheep.
The follower sheep: They spend their lives following their shepherd. They lack high levels of thinking and only follow the shepherd because they survive, they never ask questions and never truly focus on things in life.
The drifter sheep: These sheep posses higher intellect than their follower counterparts. They choose to not follow the shepherd and roam the lands outside of the shepherd's influence. They do this for a variety of reasons, curiosity of the distant lands, feel of getting independence from the shepherd, or they may simply not like the shepherd or feel that they never achieved anything by the shepherd's side. And so, they decide to break off and leave.
The wise sheep: From their name, they are the wisest of sheep. They have the most experience and wisdom. They realize mutual benefits from the shepherd and know the shepherd wants to see his sheep prosper and live happy. They spent lots of time thinking and gained desire to follow the shepherd when they learned of the ever great amount of love he cares them with and even if the shepherd wronged them they knew they could simply walk away and wander the lands again. In realization of this, they follow the shepherd making themselves look and act similar to the followers, making drifters think of the two as the same thing.
And now here we see a drifter insulting the wise assuming them to have the knowledge of mere followers. |
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md524997
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| Joined: 20 Nov 2011 |
| Total Posts: 8243 |
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| 16 Jun 2015 06:06 PM |
| Oh crap, I necrobumped again :( |
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