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Re: My Back Story.

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IronGiant11 is not online. IronGiant11
Joined: 20 Jan 2012
Total Posts: 177
10 Jun 2015 02:14 PM
I was born in one of the darkest corners of darkness and unimaginable being. I was born undead and afraid. But then The Darkage Ninjas found me and raised me as there own. But as all other creatures of darkness, They are cursed to stay in darkness. The sunlight burned my bones if I touched its light, I had to be a killer unseen and unforgiving in the shawdows. As the years past, I was rising through the ranks of the Darkage Ninjas, I was a trained assassin. A friend of the Darkage ninjas came to help us sometimes, He was a knight of the Splintered Skies and his name was Technostorm. Another friend of the Darkage Ninjas was a General, He was the general of the Korbloxian army. He hosted a meeting with the Darkage master, His name was Zython. They started talking about the group and how they would corrupt there members and get rid of Technostorm and take over all of Roblox. I found out about this and I tried to get ninjas to run away with me into the Darkness and never to be seen again, No one came with me, Some went in there own path, Some stayed. I was running and running and I had no idea where I was going. I ended up stopping and right in front of me was a giant wall, I passed out exhausted by my journey and slept by the wall. I awoke in a room and right in front of me was a Knight of the Splintered Skies . His name was Evan and He gave me two choices, Join there cause and take revenge on those who betrayed me or, I can walk away with food and water for my trip. I chose to join there cause and take revenge.
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PhantomEssence is not online. PhantomEssence
Joined: 30 Jan 2015
Total Posts: 3895
10 Jun 2015 02:21 PM
"born in one of the darkest corners of darkness"
>makes no sense

"I was born undead"
>>obviously. Makes no sense

"The sunlight burnt my bones. If I touched its light"
>>>You can't "touch the sunlight"

"Take over all of ROBLOX"
>>>>Just no.
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IronGiant11 is not online. IronGiant11
Joined: 20 Jan 2012
Total Posts: 177
10 Jun 2015 02:53 PM
It is called Role play and you can feel sunlight and the Korbloxians are trying to take over all of Roblox, I am talking about official groups on ROBLOX.
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IronGiant11 is not online. IronGiant11
Joined: 20 Jan 2012
Total Posts: 177
10 Jun 2015 02:54 PM
Its pretty clear you do not know what you are talking about.
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PhantomEssence is not online. PhantomEssence
Joined: 30 Jan 2015
Total Posts: 3895
10 Jun 2015 02:58 PM
It's pretty clear you don't know how to write.
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IronGiant11 is not online. IronGiant11
Joined: 20 Jan 2012
Total Posts: 177
10 Jun 2015 03:10 PM
Thanks for the insults, Many poets often say that they are touching the sunlight, It is a way of saying that they feel it, Many games like world of warcraft, You can be born undead. You are just a troll who likes to start fights.
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IronGiant11 is not online. IronGiant11
Joined: 20 Jan 2012
Total Posts: 177
10 Jun 2015 03:12 PM
This was not even for you, This is just a test for me and my story is in progress and changes will be made. That line I used (I was born in the darkest corners of darkness) Is from a movie I watched and I have heard many people say it before.
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IronGiant11 is not online. IronGiant11
Joined: 20 Jan 2012
Total Posts: 177
10 Jun 2015 03:13 PM
I will stop talking to you now, I'm going to make a new thread because of your idiocy. Now thank you and good day.
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jailbreak952 is not online. jailbreak952
Joined: 23 Aug 2009
Total Posts: 10885
10 Jun 2015 03:30 PM
bump for stupidity
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PhantomEssence is not online. PhantomEssence
Joined: 30 Jan 2015
Total Posts: 3895
10 Jun 2015 03:31 PM
1) You're physically talking about touching the sunlight
2) You can't be born undead. It's plain contradictory you idiot. Plus WoW is a generic MMORPG that stereotypes the fantasy genre.
3) Argumentum Ad Populum: The fact that many people say it does not make it true.
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overest2 is not online. overest2
Joined: 11 Feb 2011
Total Posts: 34
10 Jun 2015 03:32 PM
Well, that was a horrible way to justify your backstory. You can't just say it's correct because many people did it before. But still, I understand it is a starter version and that it will be corrected with time.
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PhantomEssence is not online. PhantomEssence
Joined: 30 Jan 2015
Total Posts: 3895
11 Jun 2015 06:07 AM
"many poets say touching the sunlight like the feel it"

This "backstory" you posted is written in narrative and not in verse. Therefore this induces you to read it literally.
I recommend you pay attention in Language Arts class.
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PhantomEssence is not online. PhantomEssence
Joined: 30 Jan 2015
Total Posts: 3895
11 Jun 2015 06:10 AM
Plus you're narrating the events, yet again in narrative.
"I felt like I could touch the sunlight" would not induce literal reading of the sentence.
"If I touch the sunlight" is a 1st Conditional sentence and does NOT induce alternate reading. And that is your fault for not introducing the text properly.
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