xbikeman
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| Joined: 24 Dec 2011 |
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| 04 May 2015 04:57 PM |
Tokyo- 8/16/3652.
Tokyo has gone under a large epidemic of zombie-like people. It started when a large family moved there from India to start a new life. They carried over a parasite. They passed on the parasite to others at very large buildings, starting the Satoshi Epidemic. (Guess what Satoshi means in Japense!) Only half of the population- oh wow, holy cow ._. that's alot of people. Any way, half of the population have become undead-like zombie-people things.
HOW IT STARTED
The Kamiea Family- A year before the Satoshi Epidemic
"Mother!" Komo yelled. "Yes?" Sila responded. "Yami was bite by a snake!" Komo ran over to her mother. "Yami's fine. This happen's all the time, remember. Let's go see if Yami's ok." Sila said calmly.
It wasn't okay. Yami, Guliae, and Jeami were bit by a Colomaic snake. (Not a real type of snake ._.)
The Colomaic snake was deadly, it would turn you insane, make you want to rip your face, and eat other humans. This snake caused cannabilisim.
They decided it was best to move away from the danger. But they didn't know that this would turn into a disaster. The Colomaic snake was unheard of, now a new species of snake.
WHY THEY MOVED
The Kamiea family moved to start a new life. Sila was afraid her children would die from all the danger. They had no father, who had died, but was the Japan, which didn't help them now. "Mother. How did Father die?" Yami asked, gripping onto Komo. "We don't know." Sila answered.
SATOSHI
Satoshi is feared throughout Tokyo and all around Japan. Known as a deathwish or symbol, Satoshi lives her life in darkness. Also known as the Japense Death Upon Sight, she lives away from people. It's said Satoshi will grip and take the life from people. All she wants is someone to relate with.
GHOSTS
You guessed it- know that there's zombie-like things, there's ghosts! A few people teamed up to try to stop them, but they failed, resulting in death. Then a boy tried, and has succeeded with destroying one ghost, and three tainted spirits.
TAINTED SPIRITS These are nor ghosts, angels, or demons. But they are evil. They are believed to be connected to Satoshi in some way. They will suck the life out of people, giving them a new reason to haunt. Tainted spirits will go inside your mind when you're dreaming, causing you to live a life of nightmares forever. Beware these beasts.
Ghost/ Tainted Spirit/ Zombie CS
Who you used to be: What you are called now: Type: (Ghost, Tainted spirit, or zombie.) Looks: (Clothes cannot be fancy or new, they must at least be the tiniest bit torn up.) Personality: (Must be deadly) Flaw(s) BIO: (Optional)
HUMAN CS Name: (First & Last) Nickname: (If any) Looks: Formal Look: Casual Look: Inventory: (Backpack, flashlight, knifes, ext) Other: Flaw(s)
ADMINS: Desa21 Lego xbikeman sk8er
There is a high chance that any of the admins but xbikeman will see this.
RULES: 1. NO GARY AND MARY SUES!!! 2. No godmodding. Everyone can be infected! 3. I will tell you if you become infected. 4. xbikeman makes the major events. 5. xbikeman plays as Satoshi. (It means "Ash") 6. No stealing the spotlight 7. Put Satoshi Epidemic in other to say you read every thing. |
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xbikeman
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| Joined: 24 Dec 2011 |
| Total Posts: 2367 |
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Nieol
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| Joined: 25 Jun 2012 |
| Total Posts: 1291 |
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| 04 May 2015 07:14 PM |
[I'll join, if only I can make a ghost that unintentionally kills people. When it touches a human, it often attempts to save them. But it doesn't understand it's true strength, nor does it know that when it comes into contact with a living being, it begins to rapidly sap their life-force. This can be to the point that a few second contact may steal years of vitality in an instant. Doesn't have to be so over-powered, but I would like if it was some sort of unintentional way so instead of "hurr, I dead so I evil" feel it's closer to just wanting to help, but in the end doing more harm than good.
PS. It's 3,600 AD. The fact no one found a cure is astounding.] |
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xbikeman
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| Joined: 24 Dec 2011 |
| Total Posts: 2367 |
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| 04 May 2015 07:44 PM |
| (Yea, you can. Just use the CS to make it) |
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xbikeman
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| Joined: 24 Dec 2011 |
| Total Posts: 2367 |
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| 04 May 2015 08:40 PM |
(Special Satoshi CS. Only I may use it)
Name: Satoshi Hiroka Nickname: The Death Symbol or The Death Wish. (Mainly only called that.) Who She Used To Be Known As: Satoshi Looks: Satoshi has black hair and blue eyes. She wears a black trench coat, with a gray shirt under it. She also wears black, torn pants. Her shoes are black and gray. Inventory: Backpack. Her backpack is blue and gray. Other: Satoshi Epidemic Flaw(s): She tries to go near people, all they just run. (Dang, it's hard to make flaws for Satoshi...)
(Another character :D) Name: Tamashii Kami Nickname: (None) Looks: Tamashii has light brown hair with cherry red highlights. Formal Look: A long, black dress that goes down to her ankles. It has white lace on the bottom and on the end of the sleeves. Also, she wears white flats and glasses. Casual Look: Hair down, bright white long sleeve shirt, brown fleece jacket, new blue pants. Inventory: Moon Wing(Prevents nightmares), knife. Other: Satoshi Epidemic. Flaw(s): Tamashii is bullied for being different, and repels others off of her for being different. (I might add another later) |
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xbikeman
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| Joined: 24 Dec 2011 |
| Total Posts: 2367 |
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| 04 May 2015 10:02 PM |
| (Bummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmp) |
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| 04 May 2015 10:07 PM |
uh
what.
Who is Satoshi? How is she connected? You can't just leave these things hanging out like this unless it's a mystery roleplay, which you never implied or even wrote anything mysterious. |
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xbikeman
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| Joined: 24 Dec 2011 |
| Total Posts: 2367 |
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| 04 May 2015 10:10 PM |
Oh. My. Freaking. Jeez.
STOP MAKING ME REWRITE ALL MY ROLEPLAYS!!!!! |
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| 04 May 2015 10:13 PM |
Let me explain what you did wrong here.
You put in loosely connected stories, rather than a coherent plot. This can work if you have a plot the loosely connected stories can connect into, but you don't have one.
You made all the supernatural creatures connected to someone named Satoshi, who you gave no backstory on and stated the SNAKES caused the epidemic and not Satoshi.
You included ghosts and 'tainted spirits' in something that seems to be more of a zombie RP.
The entire plot is only a few paragraphs long. |
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| 04 May 2015 10:16 PM |
Not to mention we're thrown into some random city with no background information I can think of 10,000 more interesting cities that actually are interesting |
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| 04 May 2015 10:18 PM |
| ehh tokyo is actually pretty interesting. I mean, its buildings are TAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALL man! |
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xbikeman
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| Joined: 24 Dec 2011 |
| Total Posts: 2367 |
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| 04 May 2015 10:19 PM |
Let me explain what you DONT understand
I don't have time. Seriously, Tsunami Waves took me THREE HOURS, and it's only about five paragraphs long.
I'm YOUNG. What do you expect? |
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| 04 May 2015 10:21 PM |
But swedeeeeeee It's 9/11 waiting to happen literally man
Xbike I'm young to all of us are save the older kiddies But we at least try hard |
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xbikeman
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| Joined: 24 Dec 2011 |
| Total Posts: 2367 |
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| 04 May 2015 10:27 PM |
But rock!
You criticize me when I try hard! |
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| 04 May 2015 10:29 PM |
THREE HOURS?!
When I was 'young', I may have been bad at grammar and spelling but it didn't take me THREE HOURS to make a few paragraphs! |
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xbikeman
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| Joined: 24 Dec 2011 |
| Total Posts: 2367 |
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| 04 May 2015 10:31 PM |
@Swedish
Yes, and what are you gonna do about it? I try REALLY hard. But at least one person one each rp says it's terrible. |
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| 04 May 2015 11:01 PM |
| It was the same for me and everyone before me. I got hate and got bashed 24/7 and SO DID EVERYONE ELSE. It is part of being young and non-talented in the RP section but is also the best and greatest part, because you get to see yourself evolve from a caterpillar[Not good at spelling bug's names...] into a beutiful, flawless butterfly. |
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xbikeman
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| Joined: 24 Dec 2011 |
| Total Posts: 2367 |
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| 04 May 2015 11:02 PM |
"Flawless butterfly"
Mary Sue alert.
I haven't evolved since 2013. |
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duck14
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| Joined: 20 Sep 2009 |
| Total Posts: 20912 |
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| 05 May 2015 01:58 AM |
"Mary Sue alert"
Wouldn't that be the same for Satoshi since you found it hard to give her flaws? |
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Kilgore98
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| Joined: 09 Jul 2012 |
| Total Posts: 5515 |
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Kilgore98
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| Joined: 09 Jul 2012 |
| Total Posts: 5515 |
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Kilgore98
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| Joined: 09 Jul 2012 |
| Total Posts: 5515 |
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Kilgore98
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| Joined: 09 Jul 2012 |
| Total Posts: 5515 |
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