generic image
Processing...
  • Games
  • Catalog
  • Develop
  • Robux
  • Search in Players
  • Search in Games
  • Search in Catalog
  • Search in Groups
  • Search in Library
  • Log In
  • Sign Up
  • Games
  • Catalog
  • Develop
  • Robux
   
ROBLOX Forum » Role-Playing
Home Search
 

The Oaks. (Fantasy)

Previous Thread :: Next Thread 
xbikeman is not online. xbikeman
Joined: 24 Dec 2011
Total Posts: 2367
15 Apr 2015 08:52 PM
The Oaks protect us... if darkness overcomes them, the world of Xander will be put into a dark age..


Kingdoms:
Ice
Sky
Demon

Elf
Shapeshifter. (Admins only.)
Fire

Admins:
desa21
xbikeman
foamyalice


Rivals:

Ice and Fire
Fire hates all other kingdoms, except Demon.



Story:
The Oaks (Center of Xander) have always been there. They have had dark times, but have pushed through with help of the Guardians: Yumi, Russi, and Pyscho. The Demon Kingdom have rebelled, and now the world might be in danger...


(How to do your character:)

Name: (First and Last)
Nickname: (If any)
Skills: (Up to 3)

Weakness: (You need to have at least 2)

Type: (Warrior, loner, princess, king, prince, queen, archer, banished, villager)

Backstory:

Report Abuse
rockmax2112alt is not online. rockmax2112alt
Joined: 22 Sep 2012
Total Posts: 16470
15 Apr 2015 08:53 PM
What
I don't even
Report Abuse
xbikeman is not online. xbikeman
Joined: 24 Dec 2011
Total Posts: 2367
15 Apr 2015 09:02 PM
Name: Pyshco Theive.
Nick: (None)
Skills: Loyal, Extremely Good Archer, Extremely Smart.


Weaknesses: (1) Gets confused easily. (2) Almost silent.

Type: Guardian


Backstory: It's partly known. Here is what she remembers:

She woke up tied to a pole near the age of 15. She was captured by the Demon Kingdom. She got away, and Yumi found her lying in the river... They accepted her to the Guardians, and trained her.

Age: 22
Report Abuse
xbikeman is not online. xbikeman
Joined: 24 Dec 2011
Total Posts: 2367
15 Apr 2015 09:12 PM
Name: Her real name is unknown.
Nick: Echo
Skills: Parkourist, Smart, Loyal.


Weakness: Annoying people, Needs glasses, When she is in trouble, she can't speak, which gets her in MORE trouble.

Type: Shapeshifter & Loner


Backstory: Unknown.
Report Abuse
rockmax2112alt is not online. rockmax2112alt
Joined: 22 Sep 2012
Total Posts: 16470
15 Apr 2015 09:19 PM
(Facepalm)
Report Abuse
k3rl343 is not online. k3rl343
Joined: 26 Jan 2011
Total Posts: 6702
15 Apr 2015 09:22 PM
Hey Sally, you should check out another RP, preferably successful RP.
See the difference?

Tнe poѕѕιвιlιтιeѕ αre eхтreмely lιмιтed
Report Abuse
T0LK1EN is not online. T0LK1EN
Joined: 13 Apr 2015
Total Posts: 60
15 Apr 2015 09:22 PM
I just facepalmed myself with Russia.
Report Abuse
xbikeman is not online. xbikeman
Joined: 24 Dec 2011
Total Posts: 2367
15 Apr 2015 09:49 PM
(Have you ever seen School Of Languard? Yep...)
Report Abuse
rockmax2112alt is not online. rockmax2112alt
Joined: 22 Sep 2012
Total Posts: 16470
15 Apr 2015 09:51 PM
We mean: Do more than join just one RP.
I can't even begin how empty and confusing this rp is.
Report Abuse
simsf1 is not online. simsf1
Joined: 27 Dec 2009
Total Posts: 10905
15 Apr 2015 09:51 PM
Not gonna lie. This is... bad.
Report Abuse
xbikeman is not online. xbikeman
Joined: 24 Dec 2011
Total Posts: 2367
15 Apr 2015 10:02 PM
You're reason?
Report Abuse
rockmax2112alt is not online. rockmax2112alt
Joined: 22 Sep 2012
Total Posts: 16470
15 Apr 2015 10:09 PM
Shouldn't it be obvious?
Report Abuse
SirBookington is not online. SirBookington
Joined: 30 Dec 2014
Total Posts: 2409
15 Apr 2015 10:11 PM
I feel as if we don't give enough constructive criticism. We just give destructive.

It repels people from the forum without the idea of bettering their skill.

But some RPs are inexcusably bad. Not to say that's this one, but...
Report Abuse
TheLegoGamerDude1 is not online. TheLegoGamerDude1
Joined: 24 Sep 2013
Total Posts: 12077
15 Apr 2015 10:11 PM
Sh.it story.
Sh.it setting
Sh.it CS set up
And sh.it characters
Overall: Utter sh.it.

"The one downside to being shot with guns is that you die." ~ Star_
Report Abuse
xbikeman is not online. xbikeman
Joined: 24 Dec 2011
Total Posts: 2367
15 Apr 2015 10:13 PM
(You just hate all my threads .-. You post on all of them, and it's always hate)
Report Abuse
TheLegoGamerDude1 is not online. TheLegoGamerDude1
Joined: 24 Sep 2013
Total Posts: 12077
15 Apr 2015 10:13 PM
If you made good RPs, you wouldn't get hate.

"The one downside to being shot with guns is that you die." ~ Star_
Report Abuse
xbikeman is not online. xbikeman
Joined: 24 Dec 2011
Total Posts: 2367
15 Apr 2015 10:17 PM
(Then, give me some constructive criticism. What should I do? Tell me some ideas, please.)
Report Abuse
TheLegoGamerDude1 is not online. TheLegoGamerDude1
Joined: 24 Sep 2013
Total Posts: 12077
15 Apr 2015 10:18 PM
Name: Pyshco Theive.

The f**k is that name?

Nick: (None)

Skills: Loyal, Extremely Good Archer, Extremely Smart.

Loyalty isn't a skill

Weaknesses: (1) Gets confused easily. (2) Almost silent.

(1)
Easily negligible.

(2)

Not a weakness

Type: Guardian


Backstory: It's partly known. Here is what she remembers:

She woke up tied to a pole near the age of 15. She was captured by the Demon Kingdom. She got away, and Yumi found her lying in the river... They accepted her to the Guardians, and trained her.

Why would they accept her for no reason?
This makes no sense.
Also, amnesia is a terrible trope

Age: 22

Overall: A sh.itty Mary Stu with no personality

"The one downside to being shot with guns is that you die." ~ Star_
Report Abuse
TheLegoGamerDude1 is not online. TheLegoGamerDude1
Joined: 24 Sep 2013
Total Posts: 12077
15 Apr 2015 10:21 PM
Criticism?

Get better grammar
Make a better story.Yours is an incoherent mess, and supplies us with nothing
Create a setting. Without one, you're sending people in blind, which isn't good
Supply detail: Describe things. Very few things in this world can be summed up in one sentence.
Create good characters. Both the CSs you made are stereotypical perfect Mary Stu's

"The one downside to being shot with guns is that you die." ~ Star_
Report Abuse
xbikeman is not online. xbikeman
Joined: 24 Dec 2011
Total Posts: 2367
15 Apr 2015 10:24 PM
(Ok, that actually helps me. Should I redo, or abandon this thread?)
Report Abuse
TheLegoGamerDude1 is not online. TheLegoGamerDude1
Joined: 24 Sep 2013
Total Posts: 12077
15 Apr 2015 10:26 PM
You could try re-writing it.
The concept isn't bad
Done well, it could work.
But first, look at some other RPs
See how they set up their stories

"The one downside to being shot with guns is that you die." ~ Star_
Report Abuse
xbikeman is not online. xbikeman
Joined: 24 Dec 2011
Total Posts: 2367
15 Apr 2015 10:30 PM
(Can you tell me if my thread: School Of Languard. roleplay is good? thanks for being nice.)
Report Abuse
TheLegoGamerDude1 is not online. TheLegoGamerDude1
Joined: 24 Sep 2013
Total Posts: 12077
15 Apr 2015 10:34 PM
It's not good, per-say
But it isn't bad either
The story is lackluster, and the CSs need revising
But it defiantly could be salvaged

"The one downside to being shot with guns is that you die." ~ Star_
Report Abuse
xbikeman is not online. xbikeman
Joined: 24 Dec 2011
Total Posts: 2367
17 Apr 2015 10:11 PM
(Redone, please give me help if it's bad. I'm redoing it to make it better)

A black hole had appeared. The Guardians Lee, Fantasy, and Joel stood guard atop Schzid. Many people had run into there homes. The Dark Kingdom had rebelled, and the Guardians had to protect it. The Dark Kingdom has always wanted control over all of Xander, doing anything to get it. Including killing others in the kingdom, almost destroying Xander, and almost killing the Oaks forever.



}1,000 Years Later...{
The Dark Kingdom have rebelled again, this time spreading all across Xander. From the Ice Kingdom to Fire Kingdom, they sent out troops to destroy other Kingdoms. The rest of the Dark Kingdom had set of for the Oaks. The other Kingdoms sent out the strongest of warriors, archers, and spear-men. None had returned back to there beloved Kingdom. "We have lost brave warriors over the last year." murmured Alison, protector of the Oaks. "Many, many brave men and women had set out of a quest, a quest to protect Xander.." Alison said, moving around in her large dress. "We must kill, or be killed." She said. "Send messages to other Kingdoms... tell them a time of war is about to rise."


Kingdoms:
Fire
Ice
Cloud
Sky
Light
Dark
Miner
Monster
Wyvern
Dragon
Shape-Shifter. (My friends only!)

Types:
Loner
Banished
Warrior
Archer
Spear-man
Princess (Must be approved by me)
King (Must be approved by me)
Queen (Again, must be approved by me)
Prince: (Also must be approved by me)
Villager



|CS|
Name: (First & Last)
Nickname: (Is any)
Skills: (Up to three)
Appearance:
Personality:

Weakness: (At least two)

Kingdom You Belong To:

Type:
Other: (Put Oak here to prove you read everything.)



Backstory: (Optional)



What Is Xander?: Xander is a world of Kingdoms, each Kingdom looking different. Were to Kingdoms meet, a line of pure, burning metal will appear. Anyone who touches it, or goes farther from it, will get a burning sensation, and in a three-day timing, die. Unless you get to Alison in time, which most doubt, since when you feel the burning, you have the urge to drop to the ground, and pass out, then eventually die. I'll explain what the Kingdoms look like.


Fire: A large wall of fire and lave surrounds there Kingdom. Inside, a large village can be found, which is made out of stone. Then a large, flaming castle is found at the back

Ice: Well, what it sounds like! A wall of snow surrounding the town. Then a large Ice castle to the side. It always snows here, but you only know when you are inside the Kingdom, because from other Kingdoms, this Kingdom is invisible.

Cloud: Ahh, the Cloud Kingdom. They live up in the skies, scattered around. They control the clouds, making it dark, and gloomy, or making it bright, and with the sun shining. This Kingdom is one large cloud

Sky: Very close friends to the Cloud kingdom, they also control weather. They can make it pour, drizzle, make fog, make breezes, or make it really warm.

Light: Unfortunately very close to the Dark Kingdom. The Dark and Light Kingdom often have clashes over stupid things. The sun is always shining here, thanks to the Sky Kingdom. There village houses are made of wood, with a shining castle in front.

Dark: May I say, the opposite of the Light Kingdom.

Miner: The Miner Kingdom stay underground, living in a large, cursed mine. There houses are dug into the walls of the mine, with no king, queen, prince, or princess. This Kingdom makes choices together.

Monster: This Kingdom is made up of giant spiders, zombies, and stuff like that. They prefer to live alone, but sometimes come together.

Wyvern: Enemies of the Sky and Cloud Kingdoms, when these half-humans transform into Wyverns, wherever they fly, clouds bundle up. The Wyvern Kingdom are sort of like shape-shifters, but can only change into Wyverns, instead of anything.

Dragon: Much like Wyverns, being able to change from human to a dragon, this Kingdom lives high up in the skies, in mountains. Higher then the Cloud Kingdom. They prefer to hunt alone, but live in a Tribe, with a Leader, instead of princess, king, queen, and prince. The leader makes decisions.

Shapeshifter: They live on ground, in the east part of Xander. Shapeshifters can change forms, to use to their advantage. (Remember, my friends only!) they have a village in the back, with a castle in the front. Many have been banishes from this Kingdom.

What The Oak's Names Are:
Schzid, Quento, Kemore, and Notherivorith.






Report Abuse
xbikeman is not online. xbikeman
Joined: 24 Dec 2011
Total Posts: 2367
17 Apr 2015 10:22 PM
Name: Mime Bradley
Nickname: (None)
Skills: (She doesn't really have any.)
Appearance: Black hair, white T-shirt, white pants, light gray plaid jacket, black sneakers, checkered black & white backpack.
Personality: Loyal, Persuasive, Smart, Funny, Easy to agree with

Weakness: She can easily zone off, she can't talk when near lots of people.

Kingdom She Belongs To: Wyvern
Type: Loner


Backstory: (What's the fun in writing it all up?)
Report Abuse
Previous Thread :: Next Thread 
Page 1 of 2Go to page: [1], 2 Next
 
 
ROBLOX Forum » Role-Playing
   
 
   
  • About Us
  • Jobs
  • Blog
  • Parents
  • Help
  • Terms
  • Privacy

©2017 Roblox Corporation. Roblox, the Roblox logo, Robux, Bloxy, and Powering Imagination are among our registered and unregistered trademarks in the U.S. and other countries.



Progress
Starting Roblox...
Connecting to Players...
R R

Roblox is now loading. Get ready to play!

R R

You're moments away from getting into the game!

Click here for help

Check Remember my choice and click Launch Application in the dialog box above to join games faster in the future!

Gameplay sponsored by:
Loading 0% - Starting game...
Get more with Builders Club! Join Builders Club
Choose Your Avatar
I have an account
generic image