gwebster2
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| Joined: 29 Aug 2010 |
| Total Posts: 5671 |
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| 12 Apr 2015 06:09 PM |
My armor clanked and jingled against itself as I walked down the desolate suburban streets. And when I say armor, I mean armor. Fully decked out armor, robbed straight the medieval museum. I got a sword and everything. The suit was hot, but at the same time, cool and steely. A strange sensation, really.
I turned the corner, and there was a group of them. Roaming baddies, all gross and dead. This particular batch were well dressed, I had to give them that. Slick black suits, at least they used to be. They didn't notice me as I rounded.
"Stop, foul beasts!" They reared their ugly heads. One of them turned and his jaw fell off. Gross. They made a noise somewhere between a grunt and a scream and started towards me.
I point my sword at the group. There was what, 10?
"Stay back! Or thou shalt taste my steel!" I have no idea if my Old English is correct, but cut me a break. I'm getting into it. They were advancing towards me, taking there sweet time.
"You dost thou not..." Wait. "You thost..surrender now before I... cut your stupid head off!" Hm. I broke character.
A) Hold on, I can still salvage this. Say something mean in Old English.
B) To hell with this. Get in there.
C) It's too late now. Might as well just leave.
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birm123
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| Joined: 06 Oct 2012 |
| Total Posts: 16942 |
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| 12 Apr 2015 06:13 PM |
A
may I recommend foul wrench? |
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vamking12
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| Joined: 08 May 2010 |
| Total Posts: 17651 |
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gwebster2
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| Joined: 29 Aug 2010 |
| Total Posts: 5671 |
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| 12 Apr 2015 06:15 PM |
B it is!
To hell with this. Grunting, I move my mass forward and right into one infront of me. He starts to go "Bruaagh!" Or something dumb like that but I knock him on his ass with my shoulder. With a hefty swing and oh-so-satisfying meaty connection his head rolls to the street.
One comes on my left, but, sword just not finishing its swing, I bring it right around and lop his arm off. It flunks to the ground as he stumbles back.
A) Finish him!
B) Stab the other one. |
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gwebster2
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| Joined: 29 Aug 2010 |
| Total Posts: 5671 |
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| 12 Apr 2015 06:16 PM |
(mh wait hold on)
A! A as well!
"You suck!" Wait no.
"You mother was hampster, and your mother smelled of elderberries!" Saw that one in a movie.
They start coming fast now. Heh.
(and that was what happened. if you chose A. now choose for the new one.) |
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birm123
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| Joined: 06 Oct 2012 |
| Total Posts: 16942 |
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gwebster2
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| Joined: 29 Aug 2010 |
| Total Posts: 5671 |
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| 12 Apr 2015 06:30 PM |
The guy looks down at his lost arm. He looks back at with me with something like..surprise?
Doesn't matter though, off with head! He falls to the ground like a sack of potatoes. A guy comes up from behind and I figure, hey, why not go full circle? I let my sword take me 190 degrees directly into the guy behind me's neck. Like a sack of potatoes.
Thats, what, three sacks of potatoes? Four? Couldn't remember, couldn't look down the check. With a brilliant back-and-forth sweeping slice, two guys go down. Like...like a sack of potatoes. It really just fits everything.
After a couple more times of potato-sacking, there was only two chumps left.
A) Make a kebab.
B) Punch them both in the face.
C) Yell at them. |
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birm123
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| Joined: 06 Oct 2012 |
| Total Posts: 16942 |
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gwebster2
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| Joined: 29 Aug 2010 |
| Total Posts: 5671 |
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| 12 Apr 2015 06:46 PM |
Raising my sword and leveling it out was a challenge, but it was worth it. The sword went right through the first one in between the eyes. It deviated a bit, and it imapled the second one in the throat. The second one gurgled and I let go of my sword. The two fell together. The second one was still gurgling, but he couldn't escape.
That makes me hungry.
I'm gonna go home and make a kebab.
A) Make an actual kebab.
B) Give up and make a sandwich. |
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birm123
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| Joined: 06 Oct 2012 |
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gwebster2
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| Joined: 29 Aug 2010 |
| Total Posts: 5671 |
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| 12 Apr 2015 07:04 PM |
Kebabs are hard. Instead, I ended up eating some ham and cheese and watched the television.
No, I didn't watch the television. That's a lie. I did however, turn on the radio. That's a lie, too.
Remember when I said that I was lying? I wasn't lying. I did actually just pretend to watch the TV and listen to the radio. The shows were awful and songs these days are just...ugh.
But, in actual, reality fact, for sure, I listened to the HAM Radio. Trusty Hammy never lets me down.
"Testing, testing," I spoke into the radio.
"Hello beautiful," A voice came back through. Her again. She was so nice.
A) What're you up too?
B) What's your name again? |
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birm123
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| Joined: 06 Oct 2012 |
| Total Posts: 16942 |
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gwebster2
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| Joined: 29 Aug 2010 |
| Total Posts: 5671 |
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| 12 Apr 2015 07:25 PM |
"What're you up too?" I ask the feminine voice.
"Who is this?" He responds. He?
"What?" I say.
"No." A voice comes through that has no gender.
"What's happening?"
"Nothing at all."
The HAM turns off. Oh man.
I take a bite out of my sandwich.
A) Put the armor back on and go back outside. B) Go look for something new. |
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gwebster2
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| Joined: 29 Aug 2010 |
| Total Posts: 5671 |
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| 12 Apr 2015 07:56 PM |
Getting myself back into armor was a struggle, but I managed it. Unfortunately, I lost my sword in the last battle making dead-guy-kebab.
If I'm gonna kill more guys...Is that what I call them? Guys? That's a good name. Guys.
Anyway, if I'm gonna kill more Guys, I need a new weapon.
A) Frying Pan.
B) Baseball bat.
C) Golf Club.
D) A Garbage Bag Full of Dollar Store Knick Knacks. |
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duck14
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| Joined: 20 Sep 2009 |
| Total Posts: 20912 |
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gwebster2
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| Joined: 29 Aug 2010 |
| Total Posts: 5671 |
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| 12 Apr 2015 08:16 PM |
is a tie but golf club came first)
A golfclub would do.
Now, there's gotta be some Guys at the... Mall. There's always some Guys at the mall.
The mall parking lot was desolate with a few cars and some Guys wandering around aimlessly.
A) Prowl the parking lot.
B) Go for the big stuff in the mall. |
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duck14
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| Joined: 20 Sep 2009 |
| Total Posts: 20912 |
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gwebster2
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| Joined: 29 Aug 2010 |
| Total Posts: 5671 |
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| 12 Apr 2015 08:25 PM |
I see some Guys hanging out by a Church Van. Heh.
A) Let's try this whole "Knight" thing again. Stop, foul beasts!
B) Smash the nearest ones head in.
C) Smash the nearest car with an active car alarm.
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duck14
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| Joined: 20 Sep 2009 |
| Total Posts: 20912 |
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