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| 11 Mar 2015 05:42 PM |
Before I begin: Don't type tl;dr, JUST GO AWAY :P This story is appropriate, no swearing, innapropriate stuff, etc. --- Anyways, around Christmas 2014 i had an idea and decided to start on a story called "The Experiments" I've been working on it lately (I had Writer's Block for awhile :/) and I wondered if you guys might like it. If i get some feedback, i might post some of it as i go on another thread or this one, it depends. Its based off of youtubers that i watch (which swear, but not in this story c:) They USED to call themselves 'Team Crafted' and are building back their friendships :). Here's the prologue: :)
In an underground abandoned lab, several people have built a base there. They call themselves "The Guardians." The Guardians believe that experimenting on different types of humans will eventually lead to a better world, where everyone is different so nobody can look down on others because they could easily say the same thing back, rendering it useless. Their plan is to experiment on at least 15,000 people. With the experiments that work, they will force them to train to become soldiers. After they train, they will be sent to their cells until they have enough soldiers to start a war and capture as many Minecraftians as possible. Most of them will end up being normal hybrids. Others could end up being a lot of things like ender sorcerer hybrids. They will capture Minecraftians until there are no more. When they are done, they will experiment on themselves. The world would end up full of strange humans, except they won't really be much of humans at all. Thousands of people have already been captured. Several are already hybrids. Few are special humans like sorcerers. Even fewer have become hybrids. More than 8,000 people have already been captured. Only around 500 are still normal. Every day about 80-100 people are captured. That daily number keeps growing. In just a few months, the war could start. More than 3/4 of the people captured are hybrids. Only a few have died or run into some other problem. There are still over a million people, but that could change quickly. A group of people known as "Team Crafted" are in danger. They have many friends, but they are spread out around Minecraftia. Team Crafted wants to stop it. Most of them are special humans, but thats just by coincedence. They are wanted, and The Guardians know that they are special and are the perfect warriors.
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| 11 Mar 2015 06:03 PM |
| Once you said Minecraftians i NOPEd my way outa here |
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| 11 Mar 2015 06:05 PM |
| Well, thats your opinion, not liking Minecraft is okay, just don't judge the story by that. Its just set in Minecraft for only a few small reasons. It pretty much ISN'T Minecraft. Its more of just a story but the lack of physics and things like that in minecraft help. :P |
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| 11 Mar 2015 06:06 PM |
._. ITS A PROLOGUE ITS GONNA BE LONG. Just go away. :P
"Waffles make your hair grow." (^ I keep forgetting to put my siggy :/) |
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| 11 Mar 2015 06:15 PM |
Bump. Won't check back for awhile though...
"WAffles make your hair grow." |
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| 11 Mar 2015 06:43 PM |
"Its based off of youtubers that i watch (which swear, but not in this story c:) They USED to call themselves 'Team Crafted' and are building back their friendships"
i stopped before it even started |
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| 11 Mar 2015 06:50 PM |
"Well, thats your opinion, not liking Minecraft is okay, just don't judge the story by that. Its just set in Minecraft for only a few small reasons. It pretty much ISN'T Minecraft. Its more of just a story but the lack of physics and things like that in minecraft help."
Then why don't you make up your own universe?
Respect the science! |
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| 12 Mar 2015 03:06 PM |
I don't like other universes because people never read those stories because they always say, "Other universes make it have no logic and its STUPID!" And then i'm just like, "Well people like Minecraft...maybe that'll work..."
I am aware that many robloxians do not like Minecraft but its still a good story. Also just because they're youtubers, doesn't mean its a bad story. Its not like they record videos in the story...
Can't anyone just give my story a chance? D:
(No siggy here because i'm dissapointed and SIGGIES DONT BELONG WHEN I'M DISSAPOINTED.) |
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Tappier
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| Joined: 10 Apr 2013 |
| Total Posts: 14077 |
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| 12 Mar 2015 03:10 PM |
True, but The Guardians are kind of you know...INSANE! Thanks for the feedback! :)
I would use better grammar on the internet but i'm kinda lazy... |
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| 12 Mar 2015 04:22 PM |
"I don't like other universes because people never read those stories because they always say, "Other universes make it have no logic and its STUPID!" And then i'm just like, "Well people like Minecraft...maybe that'll work..."
It is possible to create an entirely original universe and still use logic. I've done it before.
Respect the science! |
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| 12 Mar 2015 04:25 PM |
I'm not very good at it though, and i've actually wrote a lot of the story already... I can't just change it..... |
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| 12 Mar 2015 04:28 PM |
oH HELLA ITS ABOUT TEAM CRAFTED
I AM LEGIT LOOKING FORWARD TO THIS FOR SOME REASON
LET'S MCFREAKIN LOSE IT |
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| 13 Mar 2015 04:45 PM |
Yayyyyy! Here's some of the story after the prologue :D Its everything i've written so far, though its not much, i'll release it to the public: Adam's POV
"Guys...Come look at this..." I yell at the others in the living room. I hold a newspaper. In large letters at the top it says, "Team Crafted Sighting: Still not captured." 'Why do we always end up in the news?' I ask myself, 'Maybe a member of The Guardians is part of the news team...I don't know...' Jason walks over, saying, "What now?" "Remember the other day when we were sneaking around the city, trying to find someone from their group to get some kind of information out of?" "Yeah, and then we were spotted by one of the guards around the city." "Man, I hate how those guards are always dressed up like a normal person." Jerome says, looking up from his raw fish. He had been scarfing a ton of them down. He only has a few left. 'How does he not get sick from eating all of the raw food he eats?' I think, 'Well he is a bacca. I guess that explains his appetite too...' I chuckle a little. Jason looks at me with a face thats says, "What's-so-funny?" I give him an expression that basically explains it. He smiles and nods, showing that he understands. We communicate really well since we are basically best friends, all of us are. Although some of us are better friends than others like Mitch and Jerome or me, Jason and Ty. "So anyways, what exactly should we do?" Ian asks, raising his eyebrows. "Well, don't let them have any information, first of all." Seto answers. "Couldn't they already have most of anything we could tell them from our records?" "Well...I didn't think of that..." "Seto not thinking about everything possible, that's insanity!" Quentin interrupts. "Shut up..." Seto mumbles, looking down at the floor. Quentin laughs a little. Mitch asks, "So they could come here at any moment?" "I was gonna ask that..." Ian says quietly. "Well...yes...unless the records for some reason aren't updated yet. It's unlikely, since we moved more than 3 weeks ago, but possible. Though, that doesn't matter much, because they could easily just ask someone and afterwards it would get updated anyway." "Dang it...So basically we're in a very bad situation." "To sum it up, yeah thats about it." I sigh, wondering what we are going to do.
Mitch's POV
I wake up, I look outside and see that its morning. I yawn and stretch. "Wait a minute..." I say, looking back outside. I see lots of people in iron armor running towards our house. Alarmed, I run out of my room screaming, "GET UP! GET UP! THEIR COMING!" Nobody wakes up. I run out the back door, finding my friends in handcuffs, chains, and rope. "There he is! Get him!" I wake up. It was just a dream. "Thank God, it was just a dream!" I tell myself. Jerome, Seto, and Ty run into the room. "Mitch, you've been screaming for the past 5 minutes. We tried to wake you up and gave up so we just left you here. Are you okay?" Jerome asks, speaking quickly. "Yeah, it was just a...nightmare..." I explain, wanting to say something else, but deciding not to. I look over at the clock, its 9:48 AM. That's usually when I wake up, 9:50. Jerome usually gets up around 9:30. Seto and Ty get up just whenever, although for Seto, its usually like 6 or 7. Adam, Quentin, and Ian get up around 10. Jason gets up around 8:00. We all have to get up before 11:00 these days. We are always doing something important to try and save ourselves and the world. There are, however, a few days when we can kick back and relax for a few hours, and rarely a whole day. Those days are the greatest. We always have a good time. We have time to relax before we go to sleep, which could be almost anytime. That's always a good thing. It helps a whole lot with our lives. I go downstairs. I ask the others, who are already down there, "What are we going to eat today?" "Scraps." Seto answers. "I thought Jerome was supposed to go hunting yesterday..." "He couldn't. Apparently there are guards just about everywhere. There wasn't a safe path to go through." "Dang, that sucks." "Yeah..." "So what exactly do we have left?" "Well, the crops haven't grown yet. The animals we do have here aren't producing and they are too valuable at the moment to kill...nobody went hunting...That leaves the apple trees and whatever we have in the house." "Alright...I'll go out and harvest some." I walk out the back door. I look at the 4 rows of 5 trees. I am dissapointed. Each tree only has a few apples. I grab the basket by the first row and begin picking them and placing them in the basket. I go back inside. "Its not much," I say, "But it will have to do for now. I suppose we won't be having all 3 meals anymore until we can get our hands on some more food." I see that everyone else is awake now. "Yeah," says Quentin, "I hope we can get some food soon...I would rather not live in the caves with barely any food like some of those other people. They don't usually last long..." "True, but lets not think about that. Think about something positive..." Seto says.
I hand out an apple to each of us. "That's all we eat for now. We can eat again around 6 or 7. I'll be back with some water from our pond." A few minutes later, I return with two buckets of water in hand. It is pretty heavy, but I take no notice into the weight, but instead I focus on a possible strategy for what we should do next. "That'll last us today." Ty says. "Yeah." I answer. "I miss having cold water..." "I know what you mean. At least its a little cooler today." "Yeah, and maybe we can get some ice whenever we go and get some food." "Maybe..." I say, thinking about how that day may never come. "Mitch...Mitch...MITCH!" Jerome says, waving his hand in front of my face and finally getting my attention. "Huh?" "Aren't you going to drink some?" He asks, not saying anything about me suddenly spacing out. "Oh...um...yeah..." I say, still a little shaken by the terrible thoughts that had been running through my mind. He hands me a bottle made to hold water when outside. It has a lid. We have a lot of those and they hold enough water to last a while. I scoop up water and then poor a little out so it won't be too full. One bucket is empty, the other is around half full. There's still some left, we might use it for something later. Seto's POV "Uh...guys...?" Ian asks awkwardly. We look up at him, hinting him to go on. "What exactly are we going to do about it? I mean right now, we could go outside, but we'd probably get caught." "For now," I begin, "We should stay inside as much as we possibly can. We don't want them figuring out that we do live here." "True, but shouldn't we try and do something?" "We could, but do you want to end up as a hybrid or something?" "No...but, I have an idea..." "What is it?" "We could disguise ourselves, it would lower the chances of being capture by a lot." "But, there's a major flaw in that plan..." "Go on." "There are cameras everywhere, one would have to either identify us or see us come inside here and be suspicious." "Seto, how would they know it was us going in here...?" "Oh yeah..." I say, feeling stupid, "Lets just go, shall we?" We all grab our things and dress up as normal Minecraftians: not suspicious nor out of place.
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Skyaotic
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| Joined: 16 May 2012 |
| Total Posts: 4218 |
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| 13 Mar 2015 04:46 PM |
this is pretty good please PM me if you upload the full story somewhere 9.7/10
pans up dont cook |
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| 13 Mar 2015 04:49 PM |
| In my opinion, the first "prologue" is more of an explanation. I believe that a prologue is more of a short story...before the actual, showing what it's about. |
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Skyaotic
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| Joined: 16 May 2012 |
| Total Posts: 4218 |
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| 13 Mar 2015 04:49 PM |
free bump
pans up dont cook |
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| 13 Mar 2015 05:21 PM |
haha i love it
write more <3
LET'S MCFREAKIN LOSE IT |
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| 13 Mar 2015 05:42 PM |
I'm not good with prologues :/ But im glad i have some fans now. :) When I finish it, it'll be uploaded on fanfiction (.net not .com). Don't have any time to work on it right now, which is surprising since it's friday. But i'll upload parts as soon as i can and hopefully they'll be long...
Well, to be honest, i felt like this was a lot shorter and then i copy and pasted it from the file and im like "o.o"
Well, until next post! :) |
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Skyaotic
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| Joined: 16 May 2012 |
| Total Posts: 4218 |
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| 13 Mar 2015 05:42 PM |
FREE BUMP
pans up dont cook |
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| 13 Mar 2015 05:50 PM |
Free bumps for da win :3
I miss the days that this was actually how 'Team Crafted' actually acted.
Now most of them don't record together :/.
But...Jerome actually has recorded with Adam recently and Jason recorded with him so maybe there's still hope :) |
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