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| 18 Feb 2015 05:46 PM |
Perfecto
overweight but faster than your computer ( ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡°) |
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| 18 Feb 2015 05:46 PM |
| well, i never had to do this yet so idk what to say... |
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ZachHelms
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| Joined: 14 Sep 2011 |
| Total Posts: 24678 |
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| 18 Feb 2015 05:47 PM |
" I am a real American, Fight for the rights of every man, I am a real American, fight for what's right, fight for your life!
When it comes crashing down, and it hurts inside, ya' gotta take a stand, it don't help to hide, Well, you hurt my friends, and you hurt my pride, I gotta be a man; I can't let it slide, I am a real American, Fight for the rights of every man, I am a real American, fight for what's right, fight for your life!
I feel strong about right and wrong, And I don't take trouble for very long, I got something deep inside of me, and courage is the thing that keeps us free, I am a real American, Fight for the rights of every man, I am a real American, fight for what's right, fight for your life!
Well you hurt my friends, and you hurt my pride, I gotta be a man; I can't let it slide, I am a real American, Fight for the rights of every man, I am a real American, fight for what's right, fight for your life! I am a real American, Fight for the rights of every man, I am a real American, fight for what's right, fight for your life! "
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zboy103
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| Joined: 01 Feb 2009 |
| Total Posts: 1075 |
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| 18 Feb 2015 05:48 PM |
"moments we feel like we really achieved something" felt like* (this is in the past tense right)
"to knowing the feeling while playing our favorite sport" (what feeling? i will never understand this sentence)
"or someone being a human source for something" (i will never understand this sentence x2)
"but, to shine the truth" to reveal the truth* (shine doesn't make any sense)
"we'll notice how valuable knowledge actually is" realize* (i guess you could say notice but it sounds a bit iffy)
"We'll realize how intelligent we actually are in our brain" *we'll realize how intelligent we are* (in our brains sounds silly)
"What we learned this year is just another brick or stone in the path of knowledge" stepping stone* (choose one dangit) |
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RedStyles
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| Joined: 01 Jul 2013 |
| Total Posts: 1662 |
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| 18 Feb 2015 05:52 PM |
9.5/10 great
bubble tea bubbles |
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chicka123
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| Joined: 05 Jul 2008 |
| Total Posts: 25356 |
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| 18 Feb 2015 05:53 PM |
op and audience: http://youtu.be/31M_MdSVxV8?t=1m40s |
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| 18 Feb 2015 05:53 PM |
im a ginger i have no soul i just take them
What does the Ginger say? | http://www.roblox.com/Forum/ShowPost.aspx?PostID=151648944| OT's Miley Cyrus |
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3rdalty
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| Joined: 22 Dec 2014 |
| Total Posts: 6910 |
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| 18 Feb 2015 05:59 PM |
| "i didn't learn a fº cking thing" - me |
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RedStyles
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| Joined: 01 Jul 2013 |
| Total Posts: 1662 |
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| 18 Feb 2015 06:02 PM |
nice revision 10/10
bubble tea bubbles |
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3rdalty
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| Joined: 22 Dec 2014 |
| Total Posts: 6910 |
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| 18 Feb 2015 06:02 PM |
i put that in for my middle school yearbook.
SOMEONE PUT IT IN
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zboy103
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| Joined: 01 Feb 2009 |
| Total Posts: 1075 |
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| 18 Feb 2015 06:06 PM |
"It's pretty funny, but, to shine the truth" (no comma after but)
"We'll realize how intelligent we actually are, or maybe even in our hearts" (the heart thing doesn't work if you take out brain, either fix brain or take out heart)
"What we learned this year is another stepping stone in the path of knowledge." (grammarticly correct, but "everything we learned" and "just another stepping stone" sounds nicer)
other wise a-ok you did good
YOUR FACE IS BEAR |
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| 18 Feb 2015 06:07 PM |
"We'll realize how intelligent we actually are, or maybe even in our hearts. "
this sounds a little silly, I might do something like up to are and then put "and we might even think about how much we've changed in our hearts."
also, you might want to leave out the part about the google glasses lol idk
you could replace it with something telling about how you joked around a lot though |
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| 18 Feb 2015 06:09 PM |
good job violet! ouo it's very nice good job
#pride |
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zboy103
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| Joined: 01 Feb 2009 |
| Total Posts: 1075 |
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| 18 Feb 2015 06:10 PM |
shoulda waited until the thread died out no one would really care anyways though people only care about the parts with them in it
YOUR FACE IS BEAR |
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zaniac10
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| Joined: 18 Aug 2009 |
| Total Posts: 10000 |
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| 18 Feb 2015 06:11 PM |
"We joked around about people have Google glasses" We joked around about people having Google glasses********** |
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zaniac10
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| Joined: 18 Aug 2009 |
| Total Posts: 10000 |
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| 18 Feb 2015 06:12 PM |
| g in glasses in google glasses should be capitalized |
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| 18 Feb 2015 06:14 PM |
@violet
maybe they'll edit it for you? maybe |
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