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Re: DZA - "Disaster"

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Cybertro is not online. Cybertro
Joined: 02 Jul 2011
Total Posts: 1818
15 Feb 2015 04:02 PM
BEAT:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yoYcCP1cfeA

[Verse 1]
DZA, AKA Mister Dizzy Dizazter
The slave to the system without a master
But I'm breaking fools down like plaster,
Faster, fast as a bullet to your temple
Split pimple, but for the idiots I'll keep it simple
I go hard on the beat without a tempo
From the great minds of MF and OF
I write down lyrics with no treble
Clef, a lotta people should get on my level
Diss here, diss here, too much beef for my burger
And they always bring a gun to a fist fight, what a murder
I would get involved but the beef is makin' me sick
Stomach ache, another wake, everyday, for homies that go away
To the hoods in the sky, angel wings help them stay fly
Lord knows my affiliations are far from over
So many predicaments, I can't even stay sober

[Verse 2]
I don't pull triggers but I ain't a [b] either
Too many problems we should leave 'em to Beaver
I get annoyed by simple things in life like a pet peever
I ain't never been a believer,
That the world would be peaceful
Too many big bankers and white men, deceitful
Then you got madmen like me, villainous and evil
Or the Lil Wayne rappers, repeatful
I just probably end it here
Because I spit controversy people don't like to hear
In they ear, they fear, reality is too much to endear
But it's all good, not in the hood
Even though it should, it probably would be if we could.

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Cybertro is not online. Cybertro
Joined: 02 Jul 2011
Total Posts: 1818
15 Feb 2015 04:05 PM
rates + suggestions appreciated
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Cybertro is not online. Cybertro
Joined: 02 Jul 2011
Total Posts: 1818
15 Feb 2015 04:08 PM
b1
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Cybertro is not online. Cybertro
Joined: 02 Jul 2011
Total Posts: 1818
15 Feb 2015 04:20 PM
b2
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Cybertro is not online. Cybertro
Joined: 02 Jul 2011
Total Posts: 1818
15 Feb 2015 04:47 PM
b3
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ARcPanther is not online. ARcPanther
Joined: 08 Aug 2014
Total Posts: 27
15 Feb 2015 05:30 PM
10/10Lets Collab Sometime Sooner
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Cybertro is not online. Cybertro
Joined: 02 Jul 2011
Total Posts: 1818
15 Feb 2015 08:13 PM
thanks.
























bump.
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ChanelG is not online. ChanelG
Joined: 12 Apr 2013
Total Posts: 582
15 Feb 2015 08:20 PM
The instrumental might affect my critique because YouTube wasn't cooperating with me so I couldn't hear it T__T. Sorry, let me know.

Like I said before, I don't know if the instrumental had time for a Hook or whatnot, I wouldn't know. But I would've preferred to see a hook of some sort in the song. That's usually what ties the song together and brings out the main idea.

"Diss here, diss here, too much beef for my burger" >>> That line stuck out to me, I like that.

Not a bad song you got here. Keep up the good work, DZA.

Rate: 8/10
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Cybertro is not online. Cybertro
Joined: 02 Jul 2011
Total Posts: 1818
15 Feb 2015 10:52 PM
@Chanel
thanks a bunch.




































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ChanelG is not online. ChanelG
Joined: 12 Apr 2013
Total Posts: 582
15 Feb 2015 10:56 PM
No problem!
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Cybertro is not online. Cybertro
Joined: 02 Jul 2011
Total Posts: 1818
15 Feb 2015 11:42 PM
bump
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