Cybertro
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| Joined: 02 Jul 2011 |
| Total Posts: 1818 |
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| 15 Feb 2015 04:02 PM |
BEAT: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yoYcCP1cfeA
[Verse 1] DZA, AKA Mister Dizzy Dizazter The slave to the system without a master But I'm breaking fools down like plaster, Faster, fast as a bullet to your temple Split pimple, but for the idiots I'll keep it simple I go hard on the beat without a tempo From the great minds of MF and OF I write down lyrics with no treble Clef, a lotta people should get on my level Diss here, diss here, too much beef for my burger And they always bring a gun to a fist fight, what a murder I would get involved but the beef is makin' me sick Stomach ache, another wake, everyday, for homies that go away To the hoods in the sky, angel wings help them stay fly Lord knows my affiliations are far from over So many predicaments, I can't even stay sober
[Verse 2] I don't pull triggers but I ain't a [b] either Too many problems we should leave 'em to Beaver I get annoyed by simple things in life like a pet peever I ain't never been a believer, That the world would be peaceful Too many big bankers and white men, deceitful Then you got madmen like me, villainous and evil Or the Lil Wayne rappers, repeatful I just probably end it here Because I spit controversy people don't like to hear In they ear, they fear, reality is too much to endear But it's all good, not in the hood Even though it should, it probably would be if we could.
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Cybertro
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| Joined: 02 Jul 2011 |
| Total Posts: 1818 |
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| 15 Feb 2015 04:05 PM |
| rates + suggestions appreciated |
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Cybertro
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| Joined: 02 Jul 2011 |
| Total Posts: 1818 |
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Cybertro
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| Joined: 02 Jul 2011 |
| Total Posts: 1818 |
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Cybertro
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| Joined: 02 Jul 2011 |
| Total Posts: 1818 |
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| 15 Feb 2015 05:30 PM |
| 10/10Lets Collab Sometime Sooner |
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Cybertro
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| Joined: 02 Jul 2011 |
| Total Posts: 1818 |
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ChanelG
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| Joined: 12 Apr 2013 |
| Total Posts: 582 |
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| 15 Feb 2015 08:20 PM |
The instrumental might affect my critique because YouTube wasn't cooperating with me so I couldn't hear it T__T. Sorry, let me know.
Like I said before, I don't know if the instrumental had time for a Hook or whatnot, I wouldn't know. But I would've preferred to see a hook of some sort in the song. That's usually what ties the song together and brings out the main idea.
"Diss here, diss here, too much beef for my burger" >>> That line stuck out to me, I like that.
Not a bad song you got here. Keep up the good work, DZA.
Rate: 8/10 |
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Cybertro
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| Joined: 02 Jul 2011 |
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| 15 Feb 2015 10:52 PM |
@Chanel thanks a bunch.
bump |
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ChanelG
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| Joined: 12 Apr 2013 |
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Cybertro
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| Joined: 02 Jul 2011 |
| Total Posts: 1818 |
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