Gooey355
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| Joined: 07 Sep 2014 |
| Total Posts: 162 |
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| 25 Dec 2014 08:47 PM |
Once upon a time there was a mystical place where dragons ruled the land. Many were fierce. Others were Had great disdan. In the DragonIsles there are many kinds of dragons. Most live thousands of years. Others live hundreds.
~Plot~
In a land far away there was a group of Islands called the DragonIsles. There were many Different creatures. The dragons owned the island and did what ever they wanted. The dragon council was made when a great war started between Dragons and the other mystic beings. The dragon council made laws to protect the Dragons and mystic beings. So the mystic beings and dragons lived as the owns.
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Name:
Age:(20-200)
Gender:
Appearance:(detailed)
Weakness:
strength: (Not op)
Bio(optional)
Element(Optional you don't need to have one)
Other:
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Rules:
No instant killing
Be respectful to other roleplayers
No powers(You may be a element)
Do not start roleplaying till I accept your character
No Mates(I am fine with best friends)
No packs(This is not a pack RP)
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Gooey355
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| Joined: 07 Sep 2014 |
| Total Posts: 162 |
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| 01 Jan 2015 07:22 PM |
Let's critique this lolipop. plot: 3/10, there is hardly anything, all it's saying is "once upon a time rhere was a magic bunch of islands that had dragons okay" not enough information detailing. Cs looks okay 10/10 Weird rules, says nothing about godmodding or anything else rp related. 5/10 Total score: 18/30 |
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| 01 Jan 2015 07:27 PM |
Plot: It's there, but it's bare and leaves more questions than answers. 5/10 Grammar: Understandable, but several mistakes. 6/10 Functions: The Holy Trinity is there, but lacking. 6/10
17/30: Mediocre. Needs to be fleshed out more. |
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| 01 Jan 2015 07:51 PM |
Let's critique this lolipop. plot: 3/10, there is hardly anything, all it's saying is "once upon a time rhere was a magic bunch of islands that had dragons okay" not enough information detailing. Cs looks okay 10/10 Weird rules, says nothing about godmodding or anything else rp related. 5/10 Total score: 18/30
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The plot is fine. It allows characters to make their own story, therefore installing a 'free-roam' aspect. It allows you to be your own person and make your own story with other people.
The rules are fine. People have enough common sense to know what to do. If it's not in the rules, it doesn't mean it's okay. Why do the rules need to knock it into your thick skull about 'no gary sues' 'no godmodding'? |
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| 01 Jan 2015 07:54 PM |
| No, its not "fine". There's hardly any details. |
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| 01 Jan 2015 09:03 PM |
| Does there need to be in a free-roam, make your own story thing? She gives you as many details as you need. Sure, more would be nice, but it's fine as it is. |
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| 01 Jan 2015 09:05 PM |
| Since when did I mention free roam and make your own story? There's barely enough details to give anyone where they are and what exists. |
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| 01 Jan 2015 09:09 PM |
| Judging by how it was written, it probably is supposed to span over every kind of landscape. The main idea is that you are a dragon living under the dragon council with other mythical beings. From there, you choose your path and mold the role-play. If she had included details on the landscape and notable places, we probably wouldn't be having this argument. It would have been a nice thing to add but isn't really needed. |
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| 01 Jan 2015 09:22 PM |
It actually is needed. It's like saying "you're in a city" It's not simply "A nice thing to have" It's pretty damn well essential to the plot. The rper needs to format the scenario in his/her mind, it usually doesn't help when they don't add a good idea of what the scene is around them |
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| 01 Jan 2015 10:54 PM |
"It actually is needed."
I respectfully disagree. |
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| 01 Jan 2015 11:05 PM |
| Wouldn't you find it hard to rp on an island that has almost no description at all? |
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| 01 Jan 2015 11:05 PM |
| If it is a free roam, (well for one I'd make it an ISRP but also) a good idea of the locations of the world would be needed for clarity and such. |
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| 01 Jan 2015 11:08 PM |
| Exactly. By any extent or definition, an island can be made up anything; tropical, jungle, desert, it goes on. |
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| 01 Jan 2015 11:10 PM |
"Wouldn't you find it hard to rp on an island that has almost no description at all?"
Not if the RPers are given the freedom to help develop said island. And it's not like the OP can't narrate the story and unveil locations to the RPers in the course of the RP. |
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| 01 Jan 2015 11:12 PM |
| Oh yeah. Good counterpoint. But a general idea of what the island is would probably help people develop the island. |
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Gooey355
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| Joined: 07 Sep 2014 |
| Total Posts: 162 |
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| 02 Jan 2015 10:40 AM |
how is the plot bad? It just says what happened at the islands. Also this is a free roam
~Plot~
In a land far away there was a group of Islands called the DragonIsles. There were many Different creatures. The dragons owned the island and did what ever they wanted. The dragon council was made when a great war started between Dragons and the other mystic beings. The dragon council made laws to protect the Dragons and mystic beings. So the mystic beings and dragons lived as the owns. |
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| 02 Jan 2015 10:44 AM |
| It's the setting. All we know is that there's an island with dragons on it. What makes it so different than other islands? Is it a candy island? Is it a floating island? Is it a tropical island? A general idea of locations and what type of islands and what there is greatly helps a role player in choosing actions. |
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Gooey355
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| Joined: 07 Sep 2014 |
| Total Posts: 162 |
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| 02 Jan 2015 10:44 AM |
Wait now I know.
Here are the biomes: Small beaches around the shore, Mostly forests, few desert areas. And if you want to know how big it is theres 4 islands 2 are about 6 miles long and 4 wide. The other 2 are 3 miles long and 4 miles wide. Is that good??? |
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Gooey355
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| Joined: 07 Sep 2014 |
| Total Posts: 162 |
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| 02 Jan 2015 10:55 AM |
| Also its on a different island so its not like earth. |
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| 02 Jan 2015 11:02 AM |
First off, you need to explain to people what biomes are. Second off, we still have no idea what type of island we're on. And there's also no locations, or landmarks. Thirdly, I advise before making a role play of your own, join some others around here to have a general idea of how you rp here. Then, once you think you're ready, post an "Interest Check" to see if the community likes the idea or not. Fourthly, and finally, I would advise closing this down until ypu feel ready to revise. |
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wdtarz
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| Joined: 25 Dec 2013 |
| Total Posts: 1535 |
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| 02 Jan 2015 11:23 AM |
| Tbh, when someone posts an interest check and the roleplay comes out, almost no one will roleplay. But I mean, yeah, you need a basic description, but you don't need to explain what a biome is, even my little brother knows what circumcision is, and I have no idea now he does. I agree on improvements though, it could be more better regarding it as free roam. |
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| 02 Jan 2015 11:26 AM |
| I made an interest check for my rp, Fading hope. And look at it now. 7 pages. My first successful rp. |
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| 02 Jan 2015 11:33 AM |
| Rock, not every single role-play has to have a five paragraph plot that provides you with so much information that you know the colour of the OP's underwear. More detail and location ideas wouldn't hurt this role-play but there are many role-plays where little information is given at first, and more and more is given as the plot unfolds. Also, if you don't know a word, you should really Google the definition of it. |
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