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Re: No Longer - Amayah

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nickiminaj903 is not online. nickiminaj903
Joined: 01 Nov 2011
Total Posts: 446
31 Dec 2014 02:15 PM
[V1]
When I was lost, you always found me
When I fell, you always helped me
But thats part of the past, Just history
You lies locked me, like a cage
Trying to break free, but I cannot escape
All the things we shared, were washed away
Like 20ft wave, on a summer rainy Day
I gave you love
I gave you hope
But one day
That chain just broke,
Shattered to pieces
Ripped to shreds
What we had was just for a moment
But now its

[Hook]
no longer
Everything we had
Everything we said
Everything we shared
Everything we kept
Thats no longer
Nothing

[V2]

Like a spider you caught me in your web
Your fangs, biting into my skin, with your venom of lies
Couldnt escape even if i tried
The only i couldve said was goodbye
But where would I run, where would I hide?
Where ever I go, you would get me from behind
Im trapped
Im done
Tired of all the pain, you made
Took all my happiness away
Made me look like the bad guy inna way
But behind your innocent mask, im the prey
What we had was just for a moment
but now its

[Hook]
no longer
Everything we had
Everything we said
Everything we shared
Everything we kept
Thats no longer
Nothing
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nickiminaj903 is not online. nickiminaj903
Joined: 01 Nov 2011
Total Posts: 446
31 Dec 2014 02:24 PM
Rate/opinions of the song. ;)
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Wobull is not online. Wobull
Joined: 07 Apr 2014
Total Posts: 8168
31 Dec 2014 02:26 PM
;)
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nickiminaj903 is not online. nickiminaj903
Joined: 01 Nov 2011
Total Posts: 446
31 Dec 2014 02:27 PM
;o...... ;)
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DXZ0MBI3117 is not online. DXZ0MBI3117
Joined: 04 Oct 2012
Total Posts: 3843
31 Dec 2014 02:27 PM
I see alot of potential you COULD have. You delivered a good story and message, but your verses were short and your rhymes were dull, and alot of times you lacked in good rhymes. Other than that, I guess its a 5.7/10.
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nickiminaj903 is not online. nickiminaj903
Joined: 01 Nov 2011
Total Posts: 446
31 Dec 2014 02:29 PM
Thank you, I will do better next time. ;)
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Wobull is not online. Wobull
Joined: 07 Apr 2014
Total Posts: 8168
31 Dec 2014 02:32 PM
i'd rather suggest than rate

i think you can do better in hooks, after all, it's a pretty important part of a song. it needs to be more creative. i think your verses was too simple, try to make the reader picture something when they read it.

;)
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DXZ0MBI3117 is not online. DXZ0MBI3117
Joined: 04 Oct 2012
Total Posts: 3843
31 Dec 2014 02:43 PM
Yeah, what he said.
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nickiminaj903 is not online. nickiminaj903
Joined: 01 Nov 2011
Total Posts: 446
31 Dec 2014 03:23 PM
Thank you, and i will.
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calirolls is not online. calirolls
Joined: 27 May 2010
Total Posts: 6596
31 Dec 2014 03:27 PM
edgy as hell/0


“An idea that is not dangerous is unworthy of being called an idea at all.” ― Oscar Wilde
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donnchad100 is not online. donnchad100
Joined: 19 Mar 2011
Total Posts: 1794
31 Dec 2014 04:40 PM

---CLICHE!!!---



We need more lemurs.
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nickiminaj903 is not online. nickiminaj903
Joined: 01 Nov 2011
Total Posts: 446
31 Dec 2014 07:08 PM
Hatersss gonna hattteee, cute cute.. :)
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RandyMD is not online. RandyMD
Joined: 30 Mar 2011
Total Posts: 699
31 Dec 2014 07:57 PM
Uh... they already said it, but just try to deliver the message better, I love your work as always 7/10
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LordDollarVI is not online. LordDollarVI
Joined: 07 Aug 2013
Total Posts: 3719
31 Dec 2014 08:02 PM
Verses to short, rhymes are just okay. Work on that and the songs you produce in the future will be great.

6.5/10
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nickiminaj903 is not online. nickiminaj903
Joined: 01 Nov 2011
Total Posts: 446
31 Dec 2014 08:09 PM
Thank you!
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LordDollarVI is not online. LordDollarVI
Joined: 07 Aug 2013
Total Posts: 3719
31 Dec 2014 08:11 PM
It's actually very good. The topic is obvious which is needed. Just needs some work.
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kirbylover1285 is not online. kirbylover1285
Joined: 10 Oct 2012
Total Posts: 4697
31 Dec 2014 08:13 PM
8.5/10
Again verses too short, chorus a little short, other than that great work.
On a side note add a bridge to the song.
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Wobull is not online. Wobull
Joined: 07 Apr 2014
Total Posts: 8168
31 Dec 2014 08:20 PM
i'm not a hater but i'm cute
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nickiminaj903 is not online. nickiminaj903
Joined: 01 Nov 2011
Total Posts: 446
31 Dec 2014 09:44 PM
Thank you, and I don't even see yo hating sooo,,,
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Wobull is not online. Wobull
Joined: 07 Apr 2014
Total Posts: 8168
01 Jan 2015 01:40 AM
what
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nickiminaj903 is not online. nickiminaj903
Joined: 01 Nov 2011
Total Posts: 446
01 Jan 2015 02:00 PM
Nvm. XD
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Wobull is not online. Wobull
Joined: 07 Apr 2014
Total Posts: 8168
01 Jan 2015 02:40 PM
XD
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nickiminaj903 is not online. nickiminaj903
Joined: 01 Nov 2011
Total Posts: 446
01 Jan 2015 02:47 PM
XDDD
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Wobull is not online. Wobull
Joined: 07 Apr 2014
Total Posts: 8168
01 Jan 2015 02:53 PM
so very funny
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ultimatesorcerer is not online. ultimatesorcerer
Joined: 04 Dec 2012
Total Posts: 1291
01 Jan 2015 02:57 PM
is this a rap or metal or rock or pop

plz give me some context here
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