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| 31 Dec 2014 02:15 PM |
[V1] When I was lost, you always found me When I fell, you always helped me But thats part of the past, Just history You lies locked me, like a cage Trying to break free, but I cannot escape All the things we shared, were washed away Like 20ft wave, on a summer rainy Day I gave you love I gave you hope But one day That chain just broke, Shattered to pieces Ripped to shreds What we had was just for a moment But now its
[Hook] no longer Everything we had Everything we said Everything we shared Everything we kept Thats no longer Nothing
[V2]
Like a spider you caught me in your web Your fangs, biting into my skin, with your venom of lies Couldnt escape even if i tried The only i couldve said was goodbye But where would I run, where would I hide? Where ever I go, you would get me from behind Im trapped Im done Tired of all the pain, you made Took all my happiness away Made me look like the bad guy inna way But behind your innocent mask, im the prey What we had was just for a moment but now its
[Hook] no longer Everything we had Everything we said Everything we shared Everything we kept Thats no longer Nothing
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| 31 Dec 2014 02:24 PM |
| Rate/opinions of the song. ;) |
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Wobull
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| Joined: 07 Apr 2014 |
| Total Posts: 8168 |
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| 31 Dec 2014 02:27 PM |
| I see alot of potential you COULD have. You delivered a good story and message, but your verses were short and your rhymes were dull, and alot of times you lacked in good rhymes. Other than that, I guess its a 5.7/10. |
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| 31 Dec 2014 02:29 PM |
| Thank you, I will do better next time. ;) |
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Wobull
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| Joined: 07 Apr 2014 |
| Total Posts: 8168 |
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| 31 Dec 2014 02:32 PM |
i'd rather suggest than rate
i think you can do better in hooks, after all, it's a pretty important part of a song. it needs to be more creative. i think your verses was too simple, try to make the reader picture something when they read it.
;) |
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calirolls
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| Joined: 27 May 2010 |
| Total Posts: 6596 |
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| 31 Dec 2014 03:27 PM |
edgy as hell/0
“An idea that is not dangerous is unworthy of being called an idea at all.” ― Oscar Wilde |
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| 31 Dec 2014 04:40 PM |
---CLICHE!!!---
We need more lemurs. |
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| 31 Dec 2014 07:08 PM |
| Hatersss gonna hattteee, cute cute.. :) |
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RandyMD
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| Joined: 30 Mar 2011 |
| Total Posts: 699 |
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| 31 Dec 2014 07:57 PM |
| Uh... they already said it, but just try to deliver the message better, I love your work as always 7/10 |
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| 31 Dec 2014 08:02 PM |
Verses to short, rhymes are just okay. Work on that and the songs you produce in the future will be great.
6.5/10 |
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| 31 Dec 2014 08:11 PM |
| It's actually very good. The topic is obvious which is needed. Just needs some work. |
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| 31 Dec 2014 08:13 PM |
8.5/10 Again verses too short, chorus a little short, other than that great work. On a side note add a bridge to the song. |
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Wobull
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| Joined: 07 Apr 2014 |
| Total Posts: 8168 |
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| 31 Dec 2014 08:20 PM |
| i'm not a hater but i'm cute |
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| 31 Dec 2014 09:44 PM |
| Thank you, and I don't even see yo hating sooo,,, |
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Wobull
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| Joined: 07 Apr 2014 |
| Total Posts: 8168 |
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Wobull
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Wobull
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| Joined: 07 Apr 2014 |
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| 01 Jan 2015 02:57 PM |
is this a rap or metal or rock or pop
plz give me some context here |
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