Indiella
|
  |
| Joined: 15 Jul 2011 |
| Total Posts: 2603 |
|
|
| 22 Dec 2014 10:28 PM |
DISCLAIMER: The song is in the point of view as his g/f. Album comes out 12/24, so in 2 days. :) Instrumental: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tbt2BAoq7Zo -----------------------------
[Verse 1] (0:24) He didn't wanna but they sayin' he deserves it Revenge is best kept cold, that's how he served it He sayin' he didn't do it, but people sayin' they observed it Yet when they're questioned, they keep shut and try to curve it "I don't wanna answer...", then they pull down the curtains They say he was the ringleader, call it a Britney Spears circus They callin' him a T just 'cause he from the turbans, [middle east] The only thing they saw was the trashcans that were burning I don't know who to believe, I'm just searchin' for a median Everything is moving so quickly, they aren't waitin' for me to begin This boy's surrounded in his demons, looks like he ate that apple from Eden Yeah, hand me that red one, I'll take the medium Friends talk so much [s], sayin' "He's d[e]ad to me" Caught his tongue slippin' like he got a lisp, is that an S or a Z? Poor boy, didn't know how to be a man because he never had a good mama Bumpin' woman to woman, smells like revenge to me
[Hook] (1:12) You don't know what you have until it's gone, You say, not today, you'll wait tomorrow But once you get a taste of what it's like You never know until you flash the signs
[Verse 2] (1:36) "Yep, he's worthless", said all of his neighbors Worked as a lifeguard while his dad was fixin' alternators Almost got busted sm[o]king p[o]t behind the trailer Packed it up, put it in his pocket and said he'd save it for later Call it whatever you wanna, but he's got a woman now Tryna leave everything he knows, he's moving to Brooklyn now This some J Cole [s], he got a crooked smile Finally happy, he don't wanna ruin it now But that day, three knocks to the door, they poundin' Been hiding from the cops for 5 days, they finally found him Opened the front door, now he was surrounded He took off out the back and tried runnin' off towards the mountains He headed towards the back door, but the cops caught up to 'em They scattered around, yelled at him, and tried swattin' 'em Tried grabbing his collar, but his pull was too strong for 'em The kid ran upstairs, locked his door, brought his gl[o]ck to 'em He thought, (2:24) "This is the last moment, then I'll be gone No more sorrow, no more fear, no more wrong Only one pull, then I'll be d[e]ad" Write my name on that bullet, baby, so I'm the last thing to go through your head [Hook] (2:24, as well) You don't know what you have until it's gone, You say, not today, you'll wait tomorrow But once you get a taste of what it's like You never know until you flash the signs
[Bridge (old, slow recording] "Gang signs...-scratch- out the window, ya -record skips- Hopin' all of 'em offend you, ya -blurred noises- They say your hood...is a pot of gold And we gon' crash it when nobody's home" -pause 5 seconds-
[Hook x2] (3:36) You don't know what you have until it's gone, You say, not today, you'll wait tomorrow But once you get a taste of what it's like You never know until you flash the signs
[Outro (scratchy, foggy voices)] = "They say he died because of his gang drama! Always tryna sell p[o]t!" - "Nah, [n] he died 'cause he had too much stress! His girlfriend can be a real pain in the [a]! I'd k[i]ll myself too if I dated her!"
|
|
|
| Report Abuse |
|
|
Aetion
|
  |
| Joined: 02 Oct 2010 |
| Total Posts: 5482 |
|
| |
|
| |
|
Wobull
|
  |
| Joined: 07 Apr 2014 |
| Total Posts: 8168 |
|
|
| 22 Dec 2014 10:32 PM |
ACK FPP 600
8/10 Got really boring though |
|
|
| Report Abuse |
|
|
| |
|
Wobull
|
  |
| Joined: 07 Apr 2014 |
| Total Posts: 8168 |
|
| |
|
Indiella
|
  |
| Joined: 15 Jul 2011 |
| Total Posts: 2603 |
|
|
| 22 Dec 2014 10:39 PM |
> I like your bridge.
Thanks. :)
#ACK |
|
|
| Report Abuse |
|
|
Procyonix
|
  |
| Joined: 07 Dec 2012 |
| Total Posts: 2442 |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
|
| 22 Dec 2014 11:45 PM |
I liked the idea, but i don't like the delivery, Indiella.
The chorus and the bridge was good, but i felt you could of delivered the verses better.
6.5/10 - simply for the idea, and ignoring the delivery
If this were delivered better it could easily be a 8/10-9/10. |
|
|
| Report Abuse |
|
|
Tripcord
|
  |
| Joined: 31 Dec 2011 |
| Total Posts: 593 |
|
|
| 23 Dec 2014 01:01 AM |
Damn, the drought is over!!!
8/10 |
|
|
| Report Abuse |
|
|
RoDuck3D
|
  |
| Joined: 24 Sep 2011 |
| Total Posts: 10683 |
|
|
| 23 Dec 2014 02:22 AM |
>They callin' him a T just 'cause he from the turbans, [middle east]
who calls a guy from the middle east a "t"
wtf |
|
|
| Report Abuse |
|
|
|
| 23 Dec 2014 07:28 AM |
Hold up she's d@ting Aetion?
^I'm not sure if I could say the full word that's why |
|
|
| Report Abuse |
|
|
RandyMD
|
  |
| Joined: 30 Mar 2011 |
| Total Posts: 699 |
|
|
| 23 Dec 2014 08:33 AM |
| I think you could've put more lyrical precision in your verses, but overall great song :)) |
|
|
| Report Abuse |
|
|
| |
|
| |
|
Indiella
|
  |
| Joined: 15 Jul 2011 |
| Total Posts: 2603 |
|
|
| 23 Dec 2014 10:59 AM |
> who calls a guy from the middle east a "t"
T[err]orist.
> The chorus and the bridge was good, but i felt you could of delivered the verses better.
I agree, I was rushing to finish the last 3 songs for my album so I can release it on my birthday. Plus, I never do songs to real beats and I wanted to try something new, so I'd have to get used to the concept of using type beats. Thank you for your opinion. :)
> Hold up she's d@ting Aetion?
No..This isn't about Aetion it's about someone else. :(( Plus, it's in the g/f's point of view, not mine.
|
|
|
| Report Abuse |
|
|
|
| 23 Dec 2014 11:05 AM |
"This some J Cole [s], he got a crooked smile Finally happy, he don't wanna ruin it now"
this is so much fire it didn't even rhyme
going on my goatest rorap bars |
|
|
| Report Abuse |
|
|
Indiella
|
  |
| Joined: 15 Jul 2011 |
| Total Posts: 2603 |
|
|
| 23 Dec 2014 11:09 AM |
| It was a slant rhyme, lol. |
|
|
| Report Abuse |
|
|
Wobull
|
  |
| Joined: 07 Apr 2014 |
| Total Posts: 8168 |
|
|
| 23 Dec 2014 11:10 AM |
| some blacks pronounce smile is smowle |
|
|
| Report Abuse |
|
|
|
| 23 Dec 2014 11:12 AM |
| i forgot coons talk like theres peanut butter stuffed in their mouth |
|
|
| Report Abuse |
|
|
Indiella
|
  |
| Joined: 15 Jul 2011 |
| Total Posts: 2603 |
|
| |
|
|
| 23 Dec 2014 11:19 AM |
| so you talk like you got a speech problem ok |
|
|
| Report Abuse |
|
|
|
| 23 Dec 2014 11:20 AM |
"I'm not black so um...no?"
you look really black to me |
|
|
| Report Abuse |
|
|