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| 21 Dec 2014 09:23 PM |
| -- This might look long but please read it will only take a minute----(I dont want to tell my parents or anyone that could tell my parents because i dont want them to freak out and worry. I know my mom would for sure) This may seem complicated to some people, hopefully not. Im 19 years old about to be 20. Male. Yeah doesnt sound true but it is. Since i can remember this problem has been going on. I feel like my mind and my way of thinking is drastically different than other peoples. I say this because it's almost like i know the answer or truth but can't perform the "action" to help myself. (NO, Not killing myself!). The problem i have, has become something that ive gotten used to and almost seems to be NORMAL now. That really bothers me.. Anyways the background and problem: When i was younger, about 5 or more years ago i remember i was always the loud and funny one in class. Most guys and girls liked me and my confidence was at the top. I was motivated and caring. I loved spending time with people, and just getting out and doing things. NOW though, i can hardly say that any of these things revolve around my life. I just stopped smoking weed yesterday, and i dont know if that is the contributing factor to my problem. Im suspecting it could be a possible chance. I have smoked for at least 5 years without quiting. For the past years my typical day is this: wake up/shower, play video games or go on the internet, guitar, or do other things in my room. (Of couse i get out of my room and go eat, go to the store, college, or other places i need to go) I do hang out with my friends but only a select few and like once a week at the max. I do have a job but im not counting this as something i GO OUT and do because i HAVE to go there. Confusing problem: I know im an attractive guy and that almost any girl would say im good looking...but if thats the case, and it is, why do i feel insecure and self concious in public a lot of the time? I know what people will say to that... i have a bad self image. But I KNOW im attractive...yet i still think that way. Im not just self concious about looks but also how i act and the kind of person i come across to people. The person i am in the inside is the most caring and loving person that anyone could probably ever meet. I know i dont come across this way in actuality. I feel that if i were to show others my kindness and let them see the real person i am, they wouldnt think i was a "cool" guy and girls dont like the "nice guy". Self image and how i come across is very important to me. But just like my other problems, i know that any guy or girl who would treat me poorly beause i was too kind and caring arent people i should care about anyways. So why do i still feel that way? I know that it shouldnt matter what other people think of me if its negative but i let it affect me. Is it because i really do care about other people typically more than the usual person and because of that i highly value their opinions of me? ( I highly value mine too). I personally love myself but i still worry about how others think about me. When it comes to motivation, I know i should get out, do things, talk to people, enjoy life and new events. But being isolated in my room really isn't that bad anymore. I actually enjoy being alone now. At the same time though, another part of me wants to get out, meet new people, explore new places..live an exciting life! Because i know i would be a lot happier, and it would open so many new opportunites for me. Thats what i want... But for some reason i just cant get my self to do all of these things. Like i said, its as if i know the answer but just cant get myself to do it. How can i believe that i'm attractive, but be worried about my looks most of the time in public? Or how is it that i know i should change the way i live my life, but remain living the same lifestyle ? Even though i pationately want to change... Is this some type of mental disorder or issue? Is it because of the way i was raised?: My parents have deffinately babied me and let me off the hook for things that the usual parent wouldnt.. if i wanted something i usually would get it, no problem...and i feel thats the reason i dont value things as much as other people do. The very confident people my age always seem to be the same people who lived much harder lifes than i ever did and they had to struggle.. Could this be the problem? |
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7w4
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| Joined: 01 Oct 2013 |
| Total Posts: 16508 |
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| 21 Dec 2014 09:28 PM |
| let mme read it first and ill reply |
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Larney
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| Joined: 19 Oct 2011 |
| Total Posts: 19999 |
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| 21 Dec 2014 09:31 PM |
after reading the whole thing, I have concluded
that English is your second language
-I'm an expeят ツ |
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| 21 Dec 2014 09:37 PM |
| Mario, I totally understand what you're going through, because the same is happening to me. I love being alone, I don't feel comfortable in public, and my self confidence is low even though I know I have above average looks. I think the only difference is that I have very severe ADHD, and it's hard for me to fit in and be around people, because their brains don't function the same way mine does. I think you just need to do what makes you happy (for me that's playing roblox)and don't try to worry to much about things that don't matter. I'm not a doctor, so I don't know if you have a disorder of some kind, but if you want you could research some things you've experienced. |
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7w4
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| Joined: 01 Oct 2013 |
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| 21 Dec 2014 09:47 PM |
so your 19 and going to be 20 okay I think that its the fact that you didnt study the 4th state of matter, weather and ionic wind effects on human hormones and energys. Policeops, google it. When I was younger, about two or so I took apart stuff and broke padlocks, by 5 i could lift stuff as heavy as me. I was always loud and funny, I was modivated and caring, my fcomfidice was at the top and i loved spending time with people. I never ghot out and did things. I was tortured but took it as a joke and never realized it until now. The garden weeds that you cut is definitely a problem. I think you dont realize that you still can remember everything, authough if you attempt what I did as a method of purification you might just end up going crazy by trying to write down every one of yuour memorys. I think that was a bad idea, dont do it.\I think you are very talented and may think you know more then you know. You have strange dreams, dont worry about them. Why not become a explorer. I think that its because you used to have free will like me. I still have it though. I'm still the same person I was 5 or even 10 years ago. Its almost bipolar. At some times like now its strange. Its almost as if im much more normal. Your stuck in that state. The state is almost a state all adults go into. I really think I wont, its a very strange topic \
You feel insecure and self concious because of this, hanging out is okay I think you should seriously get a old CRT tv and smell the front of it while turning it on and off. just try it to feel the ions. The power. I think that a bad self image is due to constant degrading by going into this state. I truely think you might need to travel? The person you are in on the inside might be a bit locked up. And you didnt notice you were doing it. I think that they would. You might hang out with wrong people. I think that you should go to the united kigndom or austrailia, their very peaceful due to being in a solar "cold" zone. America is the most active zone and i think china is the worse zone but idk and japan is a higher zone. Electric air value is amazing thing. I think that immmortality will be discovered. YOu should just leave and explore, with that new part. You should also play a game called pokemon mystery dungeon, it has a person who does all of that. Do the pokemon mystery dungeon explorers of sky one.. Recently there was a ionic storm that caused insecurity. It has long term effects. There was a leadership one too but idk what it did. Please, do what you said and maybve stop playing bad games. Get A NINENDO DS, and pokemon mystery dungeon explorers of sky. I just want you to play that I Think that it doesnt matter about your look or attractive. I think you should stop living the same lifestryle. Its not no issue. I think that Parent babying is nothing wrog with that. I Think that it doesnt matter how much you value stuff. I think that those people are normal just like you except their near death experiences have made them enlighted more to realize that its useless thinking about stuff, and a game
named pokemon mystery dungeon, i spaced it so you would be sure tyo read it, the explorers of sky version is very good at enlightment as is the red and blue version (which most new generation kids played, get the sky vertsion then the blue version and play on ds , press select on 3ds to make it have petter aspect ratio.)
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7w4
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| Joined: 01 Oct 2013 |
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| 21 Dec 2014 09:52 PM |
Hey, Ilikewifitoo, you don't have adhd. I have manipulated myself intesnely a bunch of times, im constantly getting more power. I think that LOOKS dont matter.
Listen to me, ADHD almost 100% of the time is a LIE. I GOT MISDIAGNOSED when i was under 8 years old and still "have it" Its something called atmospheric affectiveness i expect. Ion generators can fix it. You know those old crt square tvs, turn em on and off and get electric. This isn't teached much but its something called plasma. Plasma is very special. Their brains are failing. They have a lower concious state then you. I can gaurentee you that atleast 80% of people in america i have met, i am in america now and am born there are all very dumb. Their almost cocoons of people who used to be normal. their now moded to be normal. I think that roblox is full of special pokemon mystery dungeon players and people like you alike. I am a self claimed weather ionic wind thingy? I don't know. I think that they don't. Please listen to me wifi. You don't have adhd. Its all a lie and a illusion. ADHD is a lie. Most people with adhd are used, I rebelled against it my whole life and still am struggling with it. |
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7w4
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| Joined: 01 Oct 2013 |
| Total Posts: 16508 |
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| 21 Dec 2014 10:01 PM |
I TYPE STUFF SO LONG THEN NOBODDUJ5TREFW RTYHJTRE NOVBODYU THEYLOG OFF RSTEGW32EGRHJYUFGDRS |
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| 21 Dec 2014 10:22 PM |
| @7w4 In your message you said ALMOST 100% of the time. I've never been too sure about anything, but if you're saying that I don't have ADHD then I hope its true, because you have no idea how may meds people make me take a day. And I can't convince my doctor to stop making me take them. But after more than 10 years of knowing and believing I have ADHD, it's kind of hard to find a new perspective that fast. |
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| 21 Dec 2014 10:27 PM |
| ADHD is a way for doctors to make money. |
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| 21 Dec 2014 10:28 PM |
@larney:
i spat my food because of you |
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7w4
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| Joined: 01 Oct 2013 |
| Total Posts: 16508 |
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| 23 Dec 2014 01:40 AM |
meds are disgusting most of them dont do anything besides agitate after they stop having effexct you dont have adhd its a l/ie |
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