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Re: Ro Poetry At Work. Free verse.

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bud390 is not online. bud390
Joined: 02 May 2010
Total Posts: 6487
15 Dec 2014 04:43 PM
I Walked
By: Marcus Heitmann

Foot after foot
Step after step
Broken, left alone, I walked
Just like the other times
Down the road of uncertainty
My heart beat heavily within my chest
The night was too young to rest
So I kept walking
Foot after foot
Step after step
It happened too frequently at this point
I was sick
Sick of the arguments
Sick of the screaming
Sick of the hate
Sick of the tears
I was done
So I kept walking
Foot after foot
Step after step
Miles away had I traveled
But not far enough
Where there is no chance of return
My feet came to a halt
I collapsed to my knees
Tears streamed
I pounded the earth
My fists began to bleed
The rain poured
Mixing the tears with water
Leaving me not knowing
What was grief
And what was nature
The night was so cold
I began to shiver
What was I doing?
I had a life
Was I to leave it behind right here?
What is out there for me, I thought to myself
Was it any better?
I thought of home
My father sick
My mother wounded
And wounded animals strike
Even upon those not deserving
Could I blame her?
To the point of leaving?
It isn't that simple, I tried telling myself
She doesn't love me,
I have to leave
But I couldn't even convince myself of that
The rain froze my body
I was shaking uncontrollably
I struggled to stand.
I looked in front of me
All I saw was an endless road
A road with the burden
Of never calling somewhere home
I looked back
I had time before they woke up
Forgiveness is a hard thing
But so is regret
So I walked
Foot by foot
Step by step
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uknowhimguy is not online. uknowhimguy
Joined: 19 Nov 2010
Total Posts: 3700
15 Dec 2014 04:44 PM
She doesn't love me so therefore I have to leave my own house :(
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bud390 is not online. bud390
Joined: 02 May 2010
Total Posts: 6487
15 Dec 2014 04:45 PM
But when a house doesn't feel like a home, why stay?
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uknowhimguy is not online. uknowhimguy
Joined: 19 Nov 2010
Total Posts: 3700
15 Dec 2014 04:45 PM
BECAUSE I WANNA STAY WARM!
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Wobull is not online. Wobull
Joined: 07 Apr 2014
Total Posts: 8168
15 Dec 2014 04:46 PM
@uknow

Can I use that line for one of my #sick #gang ro raps? It gon be a banger
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uknowhimguy is not online. uknowhimguy
Joined: 19 Nov 2010
Total Posts: 3700
15 Dec 2014 04:46 PM
Go right ahead, wobull.
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DevilishFilip is not online. DevilishFilip
Joined: 28 Jun 2012
Total Posts: 2322
15 Dec 2014 04:53 PM
This was pretty good.. 8.9/10.. :o
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bud390 is not online. bud390
Joined: 02 May 2010
Total Posts: 6487
15 Dec 2014 05:26 PM
Thanks! Constructive criticism?
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DevilishFilip is not online. DevilishFilip
Joined: 28 Jun 2012
Total Posts: 2322
16 Dec 2014 03:52 AM
Well..im not really good at giving criticism on poetry, cause i don't make it,
but if you want me i can give it criticism like if i was giving criticism to a song?
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bud390 is not online. bud390
Joined: 02 May 2010
Total Posts: 6487
16 Dec 2014 06:36 AM
Sure
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lunafanplace is not online. lunafanplace
Joined: 11 Sep 2012
Total Posts: 2943
16 Dec 2014 06:52 AM
Bro.
This is great.
I love freeverse'.
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bud390 is not online. bud390
Joined: 02 May 2010
Total Posts: 6487
16 Dec 2014 06:55 AM
Thanks man! Best type of poetry IMO, because without restrictions, you can make it the most emotion possible and not worry about technicality
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mageofpower is not online. mageofpower
Top 100 Poster
Joined: 01 Feb 2009
Total Posts: 43654
16 Dec 2014 07:07 AM
But when a house doesn't feel like a home, why stay?

Because dying homeless on the streets is a pretty bad fate.
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LonelyTree is not online. LonelyTree
Joined: 01 Jan 2012
Total Posts: 27245
16 Dec 2014 12:53 PM
^ yea u need 2 become a block legend b4 u die on street then u get ur face on rip t shirts
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uknowhimguy is not online. uknowhimguy
Joined: 19 Nov 2010
Total Posts: 3700
16 Dec 2014 12:56 PM
Like that one homeless dude that would scare people while hiding behind a bush. He's dead now but he got on the news!
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bud390 is not online. bud390
Joined: 02 May 2010
Total Posts: 6487
16 Dec 2014 05:02 PM
Agreed with Mage, but when I'm angry, all rational thinking goes out the door.
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TruH4WK13 is not online. TruH4WK13
Joined: 21 Dec 2013
Total Posts: 1635
16 Dec 2014 05:04 PM
When I'm angry.... I just add another home to my wall.




























Simple.
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