bud390
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| Joined: 02 May 2010 |
| Total Posts: 6487 |
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| 15 Dec 2014 04:43 PM |
I Walked By: Marcus Heitmann
Foot after foot Step after step Broken, left alone, I walked Just like the other times Down the road of uncertainty My heart beat heavily within my chest The night was too young to rest So I kept walking Foot after foot Step after step It happened too frequently at this point I was sick Sick of the arguments Sick of the screaming Sick of the hate Sick of the tears I was done So I kept walking Foot after foot Step after step Miles away had I traveled But not far enough Where there is no chance of return My feet came to a halt I collapsed to my knees Tears streamed I pounded the earth My fists began to bleed The rain poured Mixing the tears with water Leaving me not knowing What was grief And what was nature The night was so cold I began to shiver What was I doing? I had a life Was I to leave it behind right here? What is out there for me, I thought to myself Was it any better? I thought of home My father sick My mother wounded And wounded animals strike Even upon those not deserving Could I blame her? To the point of leaving? It isn't that simple, I tried telling myself She doesn't love me, I have to leave But I couldn't even convince myself of that The rain froze my body I was shaking uncontrollably I struggled to stand. I looked in front of me All I saw was an endless road A road with the burden Of never calling somewhere home I looked back I had time before they woke up Forgiveness is a hard thing But so is regret So I walked Foot by foot Step by step
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| 15 Dec 2014 04:44 PM |
| She doesn't love me so therefore I have to leave my own house :( |
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bud390
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| Joined: 02 May 2010 |
| Total Posts: 6487 |
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| 15 Dec 2014 04:45 PM |
| But when a house doesn't feel like a home, why stay? |
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| 15 Dec 2014 04:45 PM |
| BECAUSE I WANNA STAY WARM! |
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Wobull
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| Joined: 07 Apr 2014 |
| Total Posts: 8168 |
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| 15 Dec 2014 04:46 PM |
@uknow
Can I use that line for one of my #sick #gang ro raps? It gon be a banger |
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| 15 Dec 2014 04:53 PM |
| This was pretty good.. 8.9/10.. :o |
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bud390
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| Joined: 02 May 2010 |
| Total Posts: 6487 |
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| 15 Dec 2014 05:26 PM |
| Thanks! Constructive criticism? |
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| 16 Dec 2014 03:52 AM |
Well..im not really good at giving criticism on poetry, cause i don't make it, but if you want me i can give it criticism like if i was giving criticism to a song? |
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bud390
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| Joined: 02 May 2010 |
| Total Posts: 6487 |
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| 16 Dec 2014 06:52 AM |
Bro. This is great. I love freeverse'. |
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bud390
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| Joined: 02 May 2010 |
| Total Posts: 6487 |
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| 16 Dec 2014 06:55 AM |
| Thanks man! Best type of poetry IMO, because without restrictions, you can make it the most emotion possible and not worry about technicality |
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| 16 Dec 2014 07:07 AM |
But when a house doesn't feel like a home, why stay?
Because dying homeless on the streets is a pretty bad fate. |
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| 16 Dec 2014 12:53 PM |
| ^ yea u need 2 become a block legend b4 u die on street then u get ur face on rip t shirts |
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| 16 Dec 2014 12:56 PM |
| Like that one homeless dude that would scare people while hiding behind a bush. He's dead now but he got on the news! |
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bud390
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| Joined: 02 May 2010 |
| Total Posts: 6487 |
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| 16 Dec 2014 05:02 PM |
| Agreed with Mage, but when I'm angry, all rational thinking goes out the door. |
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TruH4WK13
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| Joined: 21 Dec 2013 |
| Total Posts: 1635 |
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| 16 Dec 2014 05:04 PM |
When I'm angry.... I just add another home to my wall.
Simple. |
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