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Re: Blood Hunter - No Hope

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LordHock is not online. LordHock
Joined: 30 Aug 2011
Total Posts: 327
03 Dec 2014 11:46 PM
Beat: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=GMx7BjElxWk

Verse 1 [start at 0:24]
I've succeeded against all odds
Been cheated on by these dumb broads
I wanna throw a fit
I'm sick and tired of this [S]
I've been beaten on and picked on
Kicked and hit with a ba-ton
I don't have a crew anymore
They threw me on the cold, hard floor
And then, as they walked out, slammed the door
I'm empty and poor
Though I don't say it, I endure so much pain
They put my own life in vain
I swore I'd never date a [W]
Now my ass has been hit
By that [B]
See if I care anymore

Verse 2
Depression overwhelmes me
Nothing on this Earth compels me
Can't think of one thing that I excel
I wouldn't even care if I get expelled anymore
What I am supposed to try for
This bully don't care what I say
I'm just a [F]ing rookie
Not one jury gonna hear me plea
The only thing I can do is plug in my MP3
What else can you do when you have no hope
It's hard for even me to cope with it
This is the track I will mope about it
I only got a few guys who think my [S] is dope

Verse 3
I wasn't always like this, remember that
I had guts and my [N]s were huge
That was before these [S]s took me by the [P] and threw me around
I crowned king of the losers by anyone who'd ever knew me
Since then I've given up on trying to pursue on those dreams
Ever since my debut, I've had to make do with this [F]ed up mind
It was those [AH]s that seemed to make me one too
And I feel like I'm having déjà vu
Because my friends, I used to look up to
That was before the [S] that I was put through

- Blood Hunter 2014 -
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LordHock is not online. LordHock
Joined: 30 Aug 2011
Total Posts: 327
03 Dec 2014 11:51 PM
So basically, this a really rough draft for a song I want to actually sing and record. I have a lot more lyrics for this. A rate would be nice. By the way, this song is true. This isn't some bs song.
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LordHock is not online. LordHock
Joined: 30 Aug 2011
Total Posts: 327
04 Dec 2014 07:19 PM
Anything?
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ElementalBlades is not online. ElementalBlades
Joined: 05 Jun 2013
Total Posts: 224
04 Dec 2014 08:46 PM
Love it. So you're planning to really record this? I would love to listen to it when it comes out.

10/10
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LordHock is not online. LordHock
Joined: 30 Aug 2011
Total Posts: 327
05 Dec 2014 06:53 AM
Thanks and yeah.
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LordHock is not online. LordHock
Joined: 30 Aug 2011
Total Posts: 327
05 Dec 2014 10:33 AM
More rates?
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lunafanplace is not online. lunafanplace
Joined: 11 Sep 2012
Total Posts: 2943
05 Dec 2014 12:58 PM
Real simple rhymes,
Simple lines,
Failed execution of a topic,
Decent topic,
No similies,
Decent lyrics.

4 out of 10,just because i feel you could improve upon this a whole bunch,and the fact you said this is a rough draft.
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LordHock is not online. LordHock
Joined: 30 Aug 2011
Total Posts: 327
07 Dec 2014 06:37 PM
^ I skis agree, the lines and rhymes were not basic.

Any more rates?
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TaiskeUchimori is not online. TaiskeUchimori
Joined: 29 Jun 2011
Total Posts: 261
07 Dec 2014 07:52 PM
Wow. Really good. Ever wanna record a collab, just tell me. Ever wanna do a ro-rap collab? Just tell me

9/10

And the fact that this is a rough draft, I expect the edited version to be 10/10
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LordHock is not online. LordHock
Joined: 30 Aug 2011
Total Posts: 327
07 Dec 2014 08:10 PM
Thanks. I hope to record it this month. I'll email it to anyone interested. And message me some collaboration ideas.
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lunafanplace is not online. lunafanplace
Joined: 11 Sep 2012
Total Posts: 2943
07 Dec 2014 09:18 PM
"I skis agree, the lines and rhymes were not basic."
No,not at all.
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lunafanplace is not online. lunafanplace
Joined: 11 Sep 2012
Total Posts: 2943
07 Dec 2014 09:19 PM
KAPPA

"Accept" criticism more.

lol
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zanderich is not online. zanderich
Joined: 14 Feb 2010
Total Posts: 11333
07 Dec 2014 10:54 PM
Internet rappers never succeed

PARTY AT THE CHURCH OF SCIENTOLOGY! / MTer
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lunafanplace is not online. lunafanplace
Joined: 11 Sep 2012
Total Posts: 2943
07 Dec 2014 10:58 PM
Refer to Childish Gambino.
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Kinectivity is not online. Kinectivity
Joined: 07 Sep 2010
Total Posts: 14747
07 Dec 2014 11:03 PM
get out you edgy 8 year old


Ocean man, take me by the hand, lead me to the land, that you understand.
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lunafanplace is not online. lunafanplace
Joined: 11 Sep 2012
Total Posts: 2943
07 Dec 2014 11:03 PM
Who be edgy?
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zanderich is not online. zanderich
Joined: 14 Feb 2010
Total Posts: 11333
07 Dec 2014 11:08 PM
Childish Gambino was already famous, idiot

PARTY AT THE CHURCH OF SCIENTOLOGY! / MTer
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lunafanplace is not online. lunafanplace
Joined: 11 Sep 2012
Total Posts: 2943
07 Dec 2014 11:10 PM
@Zanderich

Obviously you didn't get the joke,idiot.
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zanderich is not online. zanderich
Joined: 14 Feb 2010
Total Posts: 11333
08 Dec 2014 03:00 PM
Poe's Law, idiot

PARTY AT THE CHURCH OF SCIENTOLOGY! / MTer
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LordHock is not online. LordHock
Joined: 30 Aug 2011
Total Posts: 327
15 Dec 2014 09:07 PM
Dafuq
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uknowhimguy is not online. uknowhimguy
Joined: 19 Nov 2010
Total Posts: 3700
15 Dec 2014 09:12 PM
Gotta be that guy


YOU SUCK! 0/10
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LordHock is not online. LordHock
Joined: 30 Aug 2011
Total Posts: 327
15 Dec 2014 09:16 PM
Damn son
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DelfierVaktovian is not online. DelfierVaktovian
Joined: 28 Jul 2011
Total Posts: 4689
15 Dec 2014 09:57 PM
where'd you find this
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LordHock is not online. LordHock
Joined: 30 Aug 2011
Total Posts: 327
16 Dec 2014 09:41 PM
My brain
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