LordHock
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| Joined: 30 Aug 2011 |
| Total Posts: 327 |
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| 03 Dec 2014 11:46 PM |
Beat: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=GMx7BjElxWk
Verse 1 [start at 0:24] I've succeeded against all odds Been cheated on by these dumb broads I wanna throw a fit I'm sick and tired of this [S] I've been beaten on and picked on Kicked and hit with a ba-ton I don't have a crew anymore They threw me on the cold, hard floor And then, as they walked out, slammed the door I'm empty and poor Though I don't say it, I endure so much pain They put my own life in vain I swore I'd never date a [W] Now my ass has been hit By that [B] See if I care anymore
Verse 2 Depression overwhelmes me Nothing on this Earth compels me Can't think of one thing that I excel I wouldn't even care if I get expelled anymore What I am supposed to try for This bully don't care what I say I'm just a [F]ing rookie Not one jury gonna hear me plea The only thing I can do is plug in my MP3 What else can you do when you have no hope It's hard for even me to cope with it This is the track I will mope about it I only got a few guys who think my [S] is dope
Verse 3 I wasn't always like this, remember that I had guts and my [N]s were huge That was before these [S]s took me by the [P] and threw me around I crowned king of the losers by anyone who'd ever knew me Since then I've given up on trying to pursue on those dreams Ever since my debut, I've had to make do with this [F]ed up mind It was those [AH]s that seemed to make me one too And I feel like I'm having déjà vu Because my friends, I used to look up to That was before the [S] that I was put through
- Blood Hunter 2014 -
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LordHock
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| Joined: 30 Aug 2011 |
| Total Posts: 327 |
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| 03 Dec 2014 11:51 PM |
| So basically, this a really rough draft for a song I want to actually sing and record. I have a lot more lyrics for this. A rate would be nice. By the way, this song is true. This isn't some bs song. |
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LordHock
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| Joined: 30 Aug 2011 |
| Total Posts: 327 |
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| 04 Dec 2014 08:46 PM |
Love it. So you're planning to really record this? I would love to listen to it when it comes out.
10/10 |
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LordHock
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| Joined: 30 Aug 2011 |
| Total Posts: 327 |
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LordHock
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| Joined: 30 Aug 2011 |
| Total Posts: 327 |
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| 05 Dec 2014 12:58 PM |
Real simple rhymes, Simple lines, Failed execution of a topic, Decent topic, No similies, Decent lyrics.
4 out of 10,just because i feel you could improve upon this a whole bunch,and the fact you said this is a rough draft.
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LordHock
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| Joined: 30 Aug 2011 |
| Total Posts: 327 |
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| 07 Dec 2014 06:37 PM |
^ I skis agree, the lines and rhymes were not basic.
Any more rates? |
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| 07 Dec 2014 07:52 PM |
Wow. Really good. Ever wanna record a collab, just tell me. Ever wanna do a ro-rap collab? Just tell me
9/10
And the fact that this is a rough draft, I expect the edited version to be 10/10 |
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LordHock
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| Joined: 30 Aug 2011 |
| Total Posts: 327 |
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| 07 Dec 2014 08:10 PM |
| Thanks. I hope to record it this month. I'll email it to anyone interested. And message me some collaboration ideas. |
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| 07 Dec 2014 09:18 PM |
"I skis agree, the lines and rhymes were not basic." No,not at all. |
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| 07 Dec 2014 09:19 PM |
KAPPA
"Accept" criticism more.
lol |
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zanderich
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| Joined: 14 Feb 2010 |
| Total Posts: 11333 |
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| 07 Dec 2014 10:54 PM |
Internet rappers never succeed
PARTY AT THE CHURCH OF SCIENTOLOGY! / MTer |
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| 07 Dec 2014 10:58 PM |
| Refer to Childish Gambino. |
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| 07 Dec 2014 11:03 PM |
get out you edgy 8 year old
Ocean man, take me by the hand, lead me to the land, that you understand. |
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zanderich
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| Joined: 14 Feb 2010 |
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| 07 Dec 2014 11:08 PM |
Childish Gambino was already famous, idiot
PARTY AT THE CHURCH OF SCIENTOLOGY! / MTer |
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| 07 Dec 2014 11:10 PM |
@Zanderich
Obviously you didn't get the joke,idiot. |
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zanderich
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| Joined: 14 Feb 2010 |
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| 08 Dec 2014 03:00 PM |
Poe's Law, idiot
PARTY AT THE CHURCH OF SCIENTOLOGY! / MTer |
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LordHock
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| Joined: 30 Aug 2011 |
| Total Posts: 327 |
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| 15 Dec 2014 09:12 PM |
Gotta be that guy
YOU SUCK! 0/10 |
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LordHock
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| Joined: 30 Aug 2011 |
| Total Posts: 327 |
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LordHock
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| Joined: 30 Aug 2011 |
| Total Posts: 327 |
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