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Re: OOC: I'm thinking of a story

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rockmax2112alt is not online. rockmax2112alt
Joined: 22 Sep 2012
Total Posts: 16470
30 Nov 2014 09:14 AM
(For all you fantasy lovers, I'm breaking away from modern times writing, and going out of my comfort zone to attempt Fantasy type writing. I will be taking from Neo Classical metal music, as it's mostly about classical pieces modernized.)
The story revolved over a greedy and selfish king somewhere in france, a young, loyal squire, and the King's rebellious court and kingdom. After waisting away the courts and peoples taxes, the court and kingdom rise up in rebellion to kill the king. However the squire, who is loyal to the king, shows him a passageway out of the kingdom, and into a nearby woods. The king then learns, on his way to make the kingdom cool down, that he needs to be more kind and giving.
This is mostly an experiment to see how well I can do outside my comfort zone.
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timpookie is not online. timpookie
Joined: 18 Aug 2011
Total Posts: 21924
30 Nov 2014 09:17 AM
You said fantasy

But there's no magic

No elves or dwarves

This is medieval

Also

Squires serve knights

Knights serve other vassals

Those vassals serve barons

And barons serve the king

The squire would be pretty much a servant in the eyes of the king

I doubt he'd take the advise of a servant during a peasant's uprising
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rockmax2112alt is not online. rockmax2112alt
Joined: 22 Sep 2012
Total Posts: 16470
30 Nov 2014 09:19 AM
Medievalish fantasy.
The squire is the son of a night liked by the king, so when that knight died, he took him in.
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rockmax2112alt is not online. rockmax2112alt
Joined: 22 Sep 2012
Total Posts: 16470
30 Nov 2014 09:39 AM
Anyone else?
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rockmax2112alt is not online. rockmax2112alt
Joined: 22 Sep 2012
Total Posts: 16470
30 Nov 2014 09:45 AM
Well then, I'll be writing.
Expect the first chapter in the afternoon.
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mageofpower is not online. mageofpower
Top 100 Poster
Joined: 01 Feb 2009
Total Posts: 43654
30 Nov 2014 09:56 AM
The king then learns, on his way to make the kingdom cool down, that he needs to be more kind and giving.

That seems sort of sudden and out of character.
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rockmax2112alt is not online. rockmax2112alt
Joined: 22 Sep 2012
Total Posts: 16470
30 Nov 2014 10:01 AM
He learns after the squire shows him lessons and how it would help both him and his kingdom. Something like that.
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WroeToKobe is not online. WroeToKobe
Joined: 30 Jul 2014
Total Posts: 3454
30 Nov 2014 10:03 AM
new military rp pls
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mageofpower is not online. mageofpower
Top 100 Poster
Joined: 01 Feb 2009
Total Posts: 43654
30 Nov 2014 10:04 AM
He learns after the squire shows him lessons and how it would help both him and his kingdom. Something like that.

Still seems out of character. Changing someones entire personality is sort of difficult.
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coolboysvery is not online. coolboysvery
Joined: 02 Feb 2011
Total Posts: 1383
30 Nov 2014 10:06 AM
I'd like to be in the story. Since Bill doesn't get round to the Camp Half blood grumble grumble.

"Justice will be swift! Justice will be painful! It will be DELICIOUS!" - Ruby Rose
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timpookie is not online. timpookie
Joined: 18 Aug 2011
Total Posts: 21924
01 Dec 2014 01:53 AM
Mage, I've seen it done before. Sure, changing someone's personality generally takes around 3,000 pages and world-champion quality writing, but it's possible.
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