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@Writers Rate this story so far for me

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steamsport is not online. steamsport
Joined: 26 Apr 2014
Total Posts: 27332
15 Nov 2014 09:46 PM
Stories can be told many ways. They can be told through actions, words, and even memories. Stories trapped in memories however, tend to be more horrific or strange. These stories are too confusing to tell. The people involved take what has happened to their graves.
However, every so often, the story cannot go to the grave. Some stories need to be told. Even the point of view does not matter. Whether it be from the “villain” or the “hero.” Good and evil is merely a point of view. You are about to read a story that has tried time after time to take itself to the grave, however neither our villain nor hero may have the luxury of a grave.
Catolyn had never been a bad girl, but she was no goody-two-shoes. But, when her friend insisted she go to a party in a shady club, she did not hesitate. All of her life she had craved adventure. She spent her nights reading about the adventures of fictional characters, but had never had one of her own.

Catolyn stood in front of the door that lead to one of the city’s notorious underground clubs. The kind filled with goths and rebels. People clad in black and wearing cruel smirks as they looked her over. Her white dress and platinum blonde hair truly stood out here. She looked down wishing she could just shrink into nothing. Maybe she shouldn’t have let Helen bring her here. These were her kind of people, but Catolyn was out of place.
“Cat, come on,” Helen yelled over the loud music. Catolyn looked up to see her in all of her beauty. Catolyn had been drawn to Helen’s style immediately. It represented everything Catolyn wanted to be but was too afraid. Her hair dyed black with the brunette roots, short skirt, ripped fishnets, combat boots, and piercings. Sighing Catolyn followed her friend deeper into the club trying to rid herself of her anxiety.




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Assalto is not online. Assalto
Joined: 31 Dec 2011
Total Posts: 9149
15 Nov 2014 09:47 PM
eh alright for a start

could use a few more literary devices
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steamsport is not online. steamsport
Joined: 26 Apr 2014
Total Posts: 27332
15 Nov 2014 09:49 PM
bump

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Assalto is not online. Assalto
Joined: 31 Dec 2011
Total Posts: 9149
15 Nov 2014 09:51 PM
i'd edit this to give you an idea of what it should read like but i'm too tired

maybe i'll do it tomorrow
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2BaNeZ is not online. 2BaNeZ
Joined: 01 Nov 2012
Total Posts: 15115
15 Nov 2014 09:52 PM
is this gonna be one of those hot stories that makes you fap

RAA or die!
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steamsport is not online. steamsport
Joined: 26 Apr 2014
Total Posts: 27332
15 Nov 2014 09:58 PM
No clue its my girl that is the writer, i knew there were writers on here so I posted it.

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LordExylia is not online. LordExylia
Joined: 16 Mar 2010
Total Posts: 7553
15 Nov 2014 09:59 PM
I like it, but it can be edited some more.



▬▬▬▬▬▬▬/Your neighborhood peacekeeper.℠
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steamsport is not online. steamsport
Joined: 26 Apr 2014
Total Posts: 27332
15 Nov 2014 10:14 PM
She wrote more but the vocabulary in it might be whitelisted


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steamsport is not online. steamsport
Joined: 26 Apr 2014
Total Posts: 27332
15 Nov 2014 10:39 PM


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