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Re: RT fanfic full prologue

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TackyThePegasus is not online. TackyThePegasus
Joined: 01 May 2010
Total Posts: 15951
25 Sep 2014 06:10 PM
The wind was as boisterous as the pelting of snow; continuous shivers shook the bodies of 5 poor RTers crossing this winter land. All wrapped up in winter apparel, they were, but it seemed to have no affect on their body temperature. What an awful winter it had been so far. And more worse, what an awful time it was to travel.
Despite the season and all the snow, the 5 RTers' homeland, ROBLOX Talk, had been burnt down so badly in a flamewar that it's only remains were its ash. Smoke still flew high above them in the sky, simply implying the fire had been a nasty one.

Pikachu68688, Zeryle, Zeviox, Legoseed, and Ruminates were the only ones known to make it out alive. The rest had scattered off in unknown places to find a new home. Seeing that they might never make it anywhere alone, the reluctant 5 RTers joined together to find a new destination to settle in-- unaffected by the fact they barely even knew each other.

"Come on guys.." Legoseed forced a smile as he spoke, his breath visible and practically turning into ice in the air. "Keep a positive attitude! We'll find a place to settle in somewhere. Maybe Off Topic has an inn we can settle in for the night. After all, I AM allies with them. Or maybe-"

"Stop. Just STOP, Lego." Zeviox interrupted, voice shaking from the cold. "W-we probably won't even make it out of this place alive. This w-winter has been so d-damn bad to us that it wouldn't even m-matter if we..we.." He stopped and coughed violently. "..We found Off T-Topic. They might let you in, b-but not us."

Legoseed scowled. "Don't be such a pessimist. We're clearly alive and we'll stay that way, won't we?"

Ruminates shot Lego a glare. "Don't be such an OPTIMIST, Lego."

Pika kept quiet, wanting to avert the conversation. He was more concerned with where to sleep that night.
"ALL of you shut up!" Zeryle exploded, unsheathing her claws and raking the snow. "Will just LOOK at how deep this snow is? Arguing won't even change that fact! YOU ALL ARE IDIOTS! I HATE YOU ALL SO DAMN MUCH! WE'RE GONNA F--"

"YOU shut up, you stupid-ass chinchilla!" Ruminates shouted, kicking the small gray cat in the rear. Zeryle hissed and spun on her heel, her lips drawing back in a snarl.
"We can't predict the damn future and never will." The stressed RTer continued, calming down a little. "We know as well as our names that arguing won't make the snow any more shallow. Hell, if you want that to happen so badly, go pray to God or something."

He vainly turned around, away from the others. He began to trek farther and farther off into the distance. "You all are losers. I'm off on my own."

"Ruminates!" Zeviox shouted. "Where do you think you're going!? You'll die!"

"We're gonna die sooner or later." Pika corrected Zeviox with a scowl. "And I honestly don't care if Ruminates dies earlier instead of when time scheduled it."

"What makes you say that?" Lego asked, tightening his scarf with a quizzical look in his eye.
Pika pointed to Zeryle. The cat was about to attack Ruminates.
"Au Revoir, suckers!" called Ruminates, practically out of earshot by now.

Zeryle sprang for Ruminates and tackled the RTer by the back, smashing his face against the snow and spraying it everywhere. The cat screeched as they fell, and the landing forced her claws deep down into Ruminate's throat. Ruminates half screamed, however it came out as a high pitched squeak hence his vocal cords practically tearing apart by Zeryle's claws.

"ZERYLE!!"
Pikachu swung at the cat and his fist collided into Zeryle's temple. Zeryle flipped sideways off of Ruminate's back and landed coldly in the snow. Ruminates squirmed in the snow desperately trying to stagger to his feet and breathe. In immediate assistance, Zeviox hauled Ruminates up. He was choking.

"BAD KITTY!" Legoseed yelled, kicking Zeryle in the chest. Zeryle shook her pelt to get the snow out, but in the middle of it she received another blow in the face from Lego's fist. Zeryle coughed belligerently and her ears pinned feebly to the back of her head. Her fur stood at end as she glared up at Lego.
"Sorr-EE." she hissed arrogantly, raising a brow as she stated this. "He just pissed me off. What can I say?"

Zeviox approached Zeryle with a grave frown.
"What can you say? Sorry to Ruminates, that's what."
Zeryle snorted and sat down in the snow, burying her nose in her paws. Infuriated, Legoseed kicked Zeryle in the side once more.

"Lego, what the hell!? That counts as a-animal..animal.." Zeryle sneezed twice brutally, finishing with a loud cough at the end. She cleared her throat, her voice now hoarse, and finished, "a-animal abuse. You should be ashamed. I have anger i-issues, you know."
Legoseed just scowled wordlessly.

"Guys.." Pika's voice chimed in. "Ruminates..I..he..he.."
"Good Lord no." Legoseed held a hand to his face and rubbed his eyes to prevent tears.
"He..HE CAN'T BE!" Zeviox cried, multiple emotions cracking his voice.

"..He's alive. I was just messing with you all, haha!" Pika laughed, evidently entertained at himself. His chuckles were interfered with a heaving cough, however, and a sniff. He stopped laughing and coughed some more.

Legoseed's eyebrow twitched. That's odd.. why were they all coughing so harshly? He glanced at Zeryle, who had hacked so intensely each breath she took shook her body. Zeviox looked fine, but his voice sounded dreadfully sore, and Pika himself had just experienced a load of coughs. Ruminate's vocal cords were literally damaged and torn, too.

It could not be taken into attention, however. They had to press on with their journey.

no soup for you sonny.
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iTrollHim is not online. iTrollHim
Joined: 28 Mar 2014
Total Posts: 63
25 Sep 2014 06:10 PM
O w8 but Qzpo is alive 2 right?
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Zeviox is not online. Zeviox
Joined: 21 Feb 2011
Total Posts: 9703
25 Sep 2014 06:13 PM
my god i am really into this

i cant wait for the next part! good job!

just add kfc
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TackyThePegasus is not online. TackyThePegasus
Joined: 01 May 2010
Total Posts: 15951
25 Sep 2014 06:19 PM
thank you zevihomie!!! :^)

no soup for you sonny.
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TackyThePegasus is not online. TackyThePegasus
Joined: 01 May 2010
Total Posts: 15951
25 Sep 2014 06:24 PM
bump

no soup for you sonny.
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HalfPrint is not online. HalfPrint
Joined: 01 Feb 2014
Total Posts: 26981
25 Sep 2014 06:26 PM
Nice.
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DrBloxicus is not online. DrBloxicus
Joined: 21 Jun 2013
Total Posts: 11494
25 Sep 2014 06:27 PM
Saw that coming.


The inner mechanisms of my mind are in enigma. *milk spills*
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KadoBrenKado is not online. KadoBrenKado
Joined: 09 Jul 2011
Total Posts: 21732
25 Sep 2014 06:28 PM
cool!
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Pikachu68688 is not online. Pikachu68688
Joined: 10 Jun 2012
Total Posts: 30206
25 Sep 2014 06:33 PM
wOAH
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TackyThePegasus is not online. TackyThePegasus
Joined: 01 May 2010
Total Posts: 15951
25 Sep 2014 06:38 PM
bump

and thank you all so much omfg!!!

no soup for you sonny.
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awesomeautumn04 is not online. awesomeautumn04
Joined: 11 Jul 2011
Total Posts: 1270
25 Sep 2014 06:40 PM
But suddenly, out of the harsh blizzard, snow sprayed the group in their face. Awesomeautumn04 cut them all up and ate them.
The end.
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gmixer is not online. gmixer
Joined: 28 Jul 2010
Total Posts: 14246
25 Sep 2014 06:41 PM
this is awesome
pls add tons of plot twist


also can u spoil whether im alive or not in a pm
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cheetosrevenge is not online. cheetosrevenge
Joined: 15 Apr 2011
Total Posts: 12565
25 Sep 2014 06:43 PM
OH MY JEZES


RT Short story writer | Chapter 1-3: http://www.roblox.com/Forum/ShowPost.aspx?PostID=146198596
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cheetosrevenge is not online. cheetosrevenge
Joined: 15 Apr 2011
Total Posts: 12565
25 Sep 2014 06:45 PM
wait tacky is a better writer than i am

woah lol

RT Short story writer | Chapter 1-3: http://www.roblox.com/Forum/ShowPost.aspx?PostID=146198596
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HalfPrint is not online. HalfPrint
Joined: 01 Feb 2014
Total Posts: 26981
25 Sep 2014 06:46 PM
im going to keep on reading this
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TackyThePegasus is not online. TackyThePegasus
Joined: 01 May 2010
Total Posts: 15951
25 Sep 2014 06:50 PM
no cheeto
NO

NO YOU'RE SAYING LIES MY WORK IS CRAP COMPARED TO YOUR'S

no soup for you sonny.
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TackyThePegasus is not online. TackyThePegasus
Joined: 01 May 2010
Total Posts: 15951
25 Sep 2014 06:57 PM
bump ;;

no soup for you sonny.
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cheetosrevenge is not online. cheetosrevenge
Joined: 15 Apr 2011
Total Posts: 12565
25 Sep 2014 06:58 PM
Are you kidding me
All this feedback
And
Your work makes mine look like it was written by a 2nd grader. You're so much more descriptive, not to mention your vocabulary.


RT Short story writer | Chapter 1-3: http://www.roblox.com/Forum/ShowPost.aspx?PostID=146198596
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TackyThePegasus is not online. TackyThePegasus
Joined: 01 May 2010
Total Posts: 15951
25 Sep 2014 07:00 PM
no!!! i don't care what you say your's will always be better and original!!! ;;

no soup for you sonny.
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Zeviox is not online. Zeviox
Joined: 21 Feb 2011
Total Posts: 9703
25 Sep 2014 07:01 PM
i honestly think both of yours are equally great

just add kfc
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indeimaus is not online. indeimaus
Joined: 01 Sep 2014
Total Posts: 4285
25 Sep 2014 07:03 PM
My writing is terrible.
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cheetosrevenge is not online. cheetosrevenge
Joined: 15 Apr 2011
Total Posts: 12565
25 Sep 2014 07:04 PM
tacky


original?
lol
mine started out as a joke and people just liked it


(not important skip this: hillbilliards told me someone wrote a fanfic shipping him with another male rter so somehow i just felt like writing lel)


i was planning on ending them at part 3
but really, mine have been going *really* downhill in terms of actually being read, so gl with yours, hope it turns out good and people like it as much as i did

dont be so modest, yours are really better



RT Short story writer | Chapter 1-3: http://www.roblox.com/Forum/ShowPost.aspx?PostID=146198596
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Thocket is not online. Thocket
Joined: 18 Apr 2013
Total Posts: 7343
25 Sep 2014 07:04 PM
Add more
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cheetosrevenge is not online. cheetosrevenge
Joined: 15 Apr 2011
Total Posts: 12565
25 Sep 2014 07:44 PM
Those 90 views do not lie.
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