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Re: [STORY TIME] The Vaktovian who cried "War!"

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squibo is not online. squibo
Joined: 15 Dec 2009
Total Posts: 1419
06 Sep 2014 10:24 PM
Ehem...

*Opens the "Big Bloxy Book of C's & G's*

Once upon a time, there was a group called The Vaktovian Empire, which claimed to be the strongest group of all! They were loud, proud, and made sure that everyone else knew how great they thought they were!

One day, a small child (That makes up a large majority of VAK surprisingly, or at least that's how they act- Oops did I say that out loud?) wearing his uniform proudly, rubbing his inner forearm, the scars finally starting to go away!

*Turns the page*

The Vaktovian was happil- erm, edgyly and moodily marching through the woods when he saw someone shooting a bow and arrow. "Heh." He said, rubbing his chin slyly "Bow and arrows huh? Clearly inferior to Vaktovian shooty guns!" He ran over to the the person shooting the bow shouting "Halt! I declare war! In the name of Vaktovia!" Startled by the unwashed little gremlin charging at him shrieking wildly, he turned and fired. Striking the Vaktovian directly in the knee, and watching as the Vaktovian screamed, clutching his frost covered knee.

*Turns the page*

"Did you declare war on me and my clan? Then I must prepare the ice barrels that have been used by my clan for generations!" The Frost Clan member said. "Ice barrels!? That's preposterous! SMO must be updated at once!" The Vaktovian cried. As he contacted the poor overworked slaves that work round the clock to frequently update SMO, the FC member approached "But we have had the Barrels for years and been beaten bumerous times, surely you wouldn't make your base overpowered just for a bartering chip?" The Vaktovian got up, close to tears as a circle formed around them, members from all other groups watching with interest "Quiet you slime! We Vaktovians are superior and our demands shall be met!"

*Turns the page*

The FC member scoffed and waved a hand dismissively "Pfft, we don't deal with children who throw hissy fits" and with that, the FC member started to dance away, the group around them letting out anguished groans of disappointment as they dispersed. The Vaktovian crossed his arms and said "..." before he continued on his way. After hours of marching, he came to what looked like a pale, sickly child, burried to his neck in dirt. "Heh, what a pitiful foe, perfect to declare war on!" The Vaktovian said as he strode to the pale faced boy. "Hmmm. Heh, you there. Worthless grub. I hearby declare war on you in the name of Vaktovia!"

*Turns the page*

Once again, a group amassed in a circle at the mention of war, members of C&G watching hopefully. The pale boy tilted his head, causing a deafening 'CRACK' before he rose out of the ground. The earth shook as the albino rose, and rose, and rose, until the mountainous wall of muscle and swoleitude blocked out the sun. The Vaktovian stared in horror as the towering behemoth of VOID leaned down, so that the Vaktovian stood at his 32nd row of abs. He snarled and bellowed with a thunderous voice "U W0T M8? ILL SMAK U IN THE GABBER S0 HARD U'LL WISH U ADN'T BEN BORN, U CHEEKY SCRUB, ILL REK U I SWER ON ME MUM!" With a whimper, the Vaktovian fled into the forest squealing "BRB INTERNAL PORBLEMS!"

*Turns the page*

After months of updating SMO so that anyone not in Vak is instantly crashed, and those who arent crashed are gunned down by the 100 automattic ATAC's equipped with orbital bombardments, the Vaktovian shouted out "WHO WANTS A WAR?" after minutes, the Vaktovian looked around and said "Heh... everyone must be too scared to fight us.

*Slams the book shut and throws it into the fireplace next to me*

AND THEN NOBODY WARRED THEM EVER AGAIN. NOW GO TO BED!
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nitroyoshi9 is not online. nitroyoshi9
Joined: 17 Jun 2011
Total Posts: 45664
06 Sep 2014 10:24 PM
1st
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Warzynski is not online. Warzynski
Joined: 21 Nov 2010
Total Posts: 7721
06 Sep 2014 10:26 PM
and then Dirty Harry comes out of the shadows and says "You feeling lucky punk?"
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xSabreKillerx is not online. xSabreKillerx
Joined: 15 Apr 2013
Total Posts: 6171
06 Sep 2014 10:27 PM
THIS WAS GLORIOUS
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Pen54321 is not online. Pen54321
Joined: 11 Jul 2012
Total Posts: 8894
06 Sep 2014 10:27 PM
10/10 IGN
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squibo is not online. squibo
Joined: 15 Dec 2009
Total Posts: 1419
06 Sep 2014 10:28 PM
And then Yeller falls into a pool of lava and gives a thumbs up.
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slasherx2 is not online. slasherx2
Joined: 26 Jul 2011
Total Posts: 6977
06 Sep 2014 10:28 PM
10/10

Bad puns everywhere ( ╯‾ʖ̫‾)╯︵ ┻━┻
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Qlix is not online. Qlix
Joined: 27 Feb 2010
Total Posts: 8738
06 Sep 2014 10:28 PM
never forget yeller
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Flatflow is not online. Flatflow
Joined: 09 Oct 2010
Total Posts: 11264
06 Sep 2014 10:28 PM
except void but they knew their guns couldn't handle void so they panicked and delayed it for a few months to find ways to become more op but besides that defo 8/8 m8 gr8

--=[I αм ωιzαя∂! | +1 єgσ]=--
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TimeBlur is not online. TimeBlur
Joined: 27 Aug 2014
Total Posts: 473
06 Sep 2014 10:29 PM
teach me how to be like u.
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Daniel3613 is not online. Daniel3613
Joined: 17 Feb 2010
Total Posts: 26760
06 Sep 2014 10:29 PM
[ Content Deleted ]
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Leviated is not online. Leviated
Joined: 01 Aug 2013
Total Posts: 4178
06 Sep 2014 10:29 PM
beautiful
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Yeller is not online. Yeller
Joined: 16 May 2008
Total Posts: 5342
06 Sep 2014 10:29 PM
Hasta la vista, baby...
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KEEPITSTR8 is not online. KEEPITSTR8
Joined: 28 Sep 2011
Total Posts: 1454
06 Sep 2014 10:29 PM
10/10 would read again
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captain26 is not online. captain26
Joined: 11 Sep 2009
Total Posts: 3226
06 Sep 2014 10:30 PM
-clap-
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DarkVakt is not online. DarkVakt
Joined: 23 Apr 2011
Total Posts: 8712
06 Sep 2014 10:30 PM
This is perfection.
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squibo is not online. squibo
Joined: 15 Dec 2009
Total Posts: 1419
06 Sep 2014 10:30 PM
Best thing since Brokeback Arcadia, I'd do a Brokeback Vaktovia but thinking of that just makes me nauseous.
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squibo is not online. squibo
Joined: 15 Dec 2009
Total Posts: 1419
06 Sep 2014 10:31 PM
@Yeller

+1 for being a good sport.
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Paracosm is not online. Paracosm
Joined: 25 May 2012
Total Posts: 29395
06 Sep 2014 10:32 PM
[ Content Deleted ]
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Flatflow is not online. Flatflow
Joined: 09 Oct 2010
Total Posts: 11264
06 Sep 2014 10:33 PM
now i read it... it's so accurate it's amazing, didn't know VOID was full of typical British slapheads from London considering im like 1 of 3 British VOID/HIVE but there ya goooo

--=[I αм ωιzαя∂! | +1 єgσ]=--
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Bionicnova is not online. Bionicnova
Joined: 14 Apr 2012
Total Posts: 3728
06 Sep 2014 10:34 PM
this is gold, make more pls
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trituse is not online. trituse
Joined: 03 Aug 2011
Total Posts: 15618
06 Sep 2014 10:35 PM
hell yes

[PINK SQUID][GREEN SOLDIER]
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Yeller is not online. Yeller
Joined: 16 May 2008
Total Posts: 5342
06 Sep 2014 10:35 PM
Well I have to be a good sport. Useless to be butthurt about something like this. Plus it was fking funny. I like the part where he's like "Clearly inferior to Vaktovian shooty guns!"
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Harbynger is not online. Harbynger
Joined: 06 Jul 2008
Total Posts: 34677
06 Sep 2014 10:36 PM
heil
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TriedanDawn is not online. TriedanDawn
Joined: 26 Oct 2013
Total Posts: 3295
06 Sep 2014 10:41 PM
k


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