Guest000o
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| Joined: 24 Feb 2010 |
| Total Posts: 34197 |
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| 08 Sep 2014 07:09 PM |
Gladius: Romans used this to kill little kids who took too many baths.
Longsword: Lame.
Ulfberht: YO DIS STUFF BE MLG PROSTRATS K VIKINGS USED THIS CRAP TO SLAUGHTER FILTHY CASUAL PEASANTS AND MONKS SO IT HAS TO BE GOOD. THIS THING USED CRUCIBLE STEEL AND IT BENT ALL OVER THE PLACE MEANING IT WAS GOING TO OUTLAST CHEAPO IRON BLADES THAT COULDN'T STAND UP TO CRAP. 10/10 - IGN
Rapier: Don't pronounce this incorrectly.
Broadsword: Used more for smashy smash instead of slashy stab. Hold with two hands for maximum noscopes.
Katana: Made of sand or some crap? I dunno man, this stuff sucks.
Sabre: WHOA MAN BACK UP. You saying this is like a rapier but it can slash at things too? This basically changes the whole game right there, man.
Epee/Foil: Get your scrub weapons out of here, nooblord.
Estoc: Yo this ain't Dark Souls tryhard, get out of here.
Spatha: As straight as your Dad pretends to be. Nobody cares about spathas.
Flamberge: More like...freaking...curvythingy. Hang on let me do this one again.
Curvythingy: Big-ass curvy sword used for looking fancy.
Zweihänder: REAL WEAPON FOR REAL MEN. LIGHT AF BUT STILL LARGE ENOUGH TO SMASH FACES IN LIKE BOSSES.
Harpe: What the hell is a harpe? |
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| 08 Sep 2014 07:10 PM |
the only sword my dad has that i know the name of is the spartan sword
how good is that
Aww, but I wanted to be the Zora race! |
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| 08 Sep 2014 07:12 PM |
A harpe is a cross between a sickle and a sword
Tracked
A penny saved is a penny earned, but the government will take it anyways |
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| 08 Sep 2014 07:12 PM |
By how to sword are you referring to this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hq97Z7JmSQA
Guns don't kill people, people kill GUNS |
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Guest000o
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| Joined: 24 Feb 2010 |
| Total Posts: 34197 |
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| 08 Sep 2014 07:15 PM |
| Tachi: Pre-katana Japanese sword that sucked on eggs. Saying you have a tachi will cause women to laugh at you and men to kick you out of their clubs. Get a halberd. Halberds are for real men. |
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| 08 Sep 2014 07:17 PM |
What about a wakizashi?
A penny saved is a penny earned, but the government will take it anyways |
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Guest000o
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| Joined: 24 Feb 2010 |
| Total Posts: 34197 |
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| 08 Sep 2014 07:25 PM |
Dirk: Tiny-ass blade used to mug people. Indistinguishable from your average prison-shiv.
Oxborough Dirk: Ancient tiny-ass blade used to mug people. Indistinguishable from your average movie-prison-shiv.
Claymore: Pretty big two-hander that has a weird handguard that slopes into the blade even though it's probably never going to be used for anything. Pretty lame.
SPECIAL SECTION. How to dual wield two swords: Don't. Those things are hella-heavy unless they're something like rapiers which you wouldn't even want to dual-wield anyways because then you'll have either differentiating reaches or you'll un-blade your torso and become an easy target. Why would you want two swords anyways? |
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Lovaria
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| Joined: 13 Jun 2012 |
| Total Posts: 17205 |
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| 08 Sep 2014 07:25 PM |
Lightsaber Lightsaberrrrrrrrrrr |
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Guest000o
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| Joined: 24 Feb 2010 |
| Total Posts: 34197 |
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| 08 Sep 2014 07:30 PM |
Cutlass: Holy crap that blade is big. How do they move it so fast? What is this magic? Do they even move it fast or is that just in the movies? How is this? What is this?
Basket-hilted sword: Used by magical people who only die if their hands are injured.
Machete: Yo, machetes are so metal. All hardcore ranger wannabes have held a machete at least once in their lives. Mostly used for downward slashes 'cause why not. |
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Guest000o
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| Joined: 24 Feb 2010 |
| Total Posts: 34197 |
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| 08 Sep 2014 07:34 PM |
ALERT ALERT ALERT ALERT. ALERT ALERT ALERT ALERT. ALERT ALERT ALERT ALERT. REAL MAN'S WEAPON INBOUND. IT'S SO AWESOME IT'S NOT EVEN A SWORD. I'M TALKING ABOUT THE
SPEAR: So hardcore, yo. Spears have been used since the stone age because they hold up so well alongside other advancing technologies. Invented in the stone age by xXx_Caveman420_xXx, they are basically a blade on a stick, which also saves on materials. Unless you make something like a glaive or halberd, which are also hardcore I guess. Sword-scrubs be like "WTF GET OVER HERE" but you be all "lol git gud filthy casul spear 4evr". Alexander the Great conquered a woman-shaped area of Europe entirely by moving regiments of people with giant spears around the place over and over until his enemies got bored and just gave him all their stuff so he'd leave them alone. |
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Guest000o
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| Joined: 24 Feb 2010 |
| Total Posts: 34197 |
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| 08 Sep 2014 07:50 PM |
Khopesh: What the actual hell.
Falcata: Holy crap look at that handguard that stuff is hardcore. Used by legit Greek MLG prostrats noscopers to rekk barbarian filthy casuals who don't know where the chaos ember is.
Kopis: POSER WEAPON TRYING TO BE A FALCATA.
Xiphos: Moar liek...frikkin...Big-ass cutting thing. Pretty cool guy. |
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DeathETM
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| Joined: 29 Nov 2013 |
| Total Posts: 5251 |
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| 08 Sep 2014 07:51 PM |
Spartacus: swagyolo buy em inem's new recovery best album
randomaccess |
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Guest000o
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| Joined: 24 Feb 2010 |
| Total Posts: 34197 |
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| 08 Sep 2014 07:55 PM |
| Ōdachi: #edgy MCR Linkin Park sword used by hormonal teens to make believe they're their favorite Bleach characters. Used to be top-notch huge-ass Japanese blades used to not actually do anything because they were mostly ceremonial. Suck it, Sephiroth, your sword is a freaking shrine-totem. |
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Guest000o
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| Joined: 24 Feb 2010 |
| Total Posts: 34197 |
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| 08 Sep 2014 08:03 PM |
| Do you guys even know how to sword? |
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Guest000o
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| Joined: 24 Feb 2010 |
| Total Posts: 34197 |
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