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Re: HOW TO SWORD.

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Guest000o is not online. Guest000o
Joined: 24 Feb 2010
Total Posts: 34197
08 Sep 2014 07:09 PM
Gladius: Romans used this to kill little kids who took too many baths.

Longsword: Lame.

Ulfberht: YO DIS STUFF BE MLG PROSTRATS K VIKINGS USED THIS CRAP TO SLAUGHTER FILTHY CASUAL PEASANTS AND MONKS SO IT HAS TO BE GOOD. THIS THING USED CRUCIBLE STEEL AND IT BENT ALL OVER THE PLACE MEANING IT WAS GOING TO OUTLAST CHEAPO IRON BLADES THAT COULDN'T STAND UP TO CRAP. 10/10 - IGN

Rapier: Don't pronounce this incorrectly.

Broadsword: Used more for smashy smash instead of slashy stab. Hold with two hands for maximum noscopes.

Katana: Made of sand or some crap? I dunno man, this stuff sucks.

Sabre: WHOA MAN BACK UP. You saying this is like a rapier but it can slash at things too? This basically changes the whole game right there, man.

Epee/Foil: Get your scrub weapons out of here, nooblord.

Estoc: Yo this ain't Dark Souls tryhard, get out of here.

Spatha: As straight as your Dad pretends to be. Nobody cares about spathas.

Flamberge: More like...freaking...curvythingy. Hang on let me do this one again.

Curvythingy: Big-ass curvy sword used for looking fancy.

Zweihänder: REAL WEAPON FOR REAL MEN. LIGHT AF BUT STILL LARGE ENOUGH TO SMASH FACES IN LIKE BOSSES.

Harpe: What the hell is a harpe?
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SoEpic1337 is not online. SoEpic1337
Joined: 22 Oct 2011
Total Posts: 28506
08 Sep 2014 07:10 PM
the only sword my dad has that i know the name of is the spartan sword

how good is that

Aww, but I wanted to be the Zora race!
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IamEpic1234567 is not online. IamEpic1234567
Joined: 07 Sep 2011
Total Posts: 11871
08 Sep 2014 07:12 PM
A harpe is a cross between a sickle and a sword

Tracked

A penny saved is a penny earned, but the government will take it anyways
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vocaloid111 is not online. vocaloid111
Joined: 15 Oct 2011
Total Posts: 17488
08 Sep 2014 07:12 PM
JAZZ HANDS
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theMetasponge64 is not online. theMetasponge64
Joined: 12 Feb 2010
Total Posts: 18284
08 Sep 2014 07:12 PM
By how to sword are you referring to this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hq97Z7JmSQA




Guns don't kill people, people kill GUNS
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Guest000o is not online. Guest000o
Joined: 24 Feb 2010
Total Posts: 34197
08 Sep 2014 07:15 PM
Tachi: Pre-katana Japanese sword that sucked on eggs. Saying you have a tachi will cause women to laugh at you and men to kick you out of their clubs. Get a halberd. Halberds are for real men.
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IamEpic1234567 is not online. IamEpic1234567
Joined: 07 Sep 2011
Total Posts: 11871
08 Sep 2014 07:17 PM
What about a wakizashi?

A penny saved is a penny earned, but the government will take it anyways
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Guest000o is not online. Guest000o
Joined: 24 Feb 2010
Total Posts: 34197
08 Sep 2014 07:25 PM
Dirk: Tiny-ass blade used to mug people. Indistinguishable from your average prison-shiv.

Oxborough Dirk: Ancient tiny-ass blade used to mug people. Indistinguishable from your average movie-prison-shiv.

Claymore: Pretty big two-hander that has a weird handguard that slopes into the blade even though it's probably never going to be used for anything. Pretty lame.

SPECIAL SECTION.
How to dual wield two swords:
Don't. Those things are hella-heavy unless they're something like rapiers which you wouldn't even want to dual-wield anyways because then you'll have either differentiating reaches or you'll un-blade your torso and become an easy target. Why would you want two swords anyways?
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Lovaria is not online. Lovaria
Joined: 13 Jun 2012
Total Posts: 17205
08 Sep 2014 07:25 PM
Lightsaber
Lightsaberrrrrrrrrrr
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Guest000o is not online. Guest000o
Joined: 24 Feb 2010
Total Posts: 34197
08 Sep 2014 07:30 PM
Cutlass: Holy crap that blade is big. How do they move it so fast? What is this magic? Do they even move it fast or is that just in the movies? How is this? What is this?

Basket-hilted sword: Used by magical people who only die if their hands are injured.

Machete: Yo, machetes are so metal. All hardcore ranger wannabes have held a machete at least once in their lives. Mostly used for downward slashes 'cause why not.
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Guest000o is not online. Guest000o
Joined: 24 Feb 2010
Total Posts: 34197
08 Sep 2014 07:34 PM
ALERT ALERT ALERT ALERT.
ALERT ALERT ALERT ALERT.
ALERT ALERT ALERT ALERT.
REAL MAN'S WEAPON INBOUND.
IT'S SO AWESOME IT'S NOT EVEN A SWORD. I'M TALKING ABOUT THE

SPEAR:
So hardcore, yo. Spears have been used since the stone age because they hold up so well alongside other advancing technologies. Invented in the stone age by xXx_Caveman420_xXx, they are basically a blade on a stick, which also saves on materials. Unless you make something like a glaive or halberd, which are also hardcore I guess. Sword-scrubs be like "WTF GET OVER HERE" but you be all "lol git gud filthy casul spear 4evr". Alexander the Great conquered a woman-shaped area of Europe entirely by moving regiments of people with giant spears around the place over and over until his enemies got bored and just gave him all their stuff so he'd leave them alone.
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Guest000o is not online. Guest000o
Joined: 24 Feb 2010
Total Posts: 34197
08 Sep 2014 07:50 PM
Khopesh: What the actual hell.

Falcata: Holy crap look at that handguard that stuff is hardcore. Used by legit Greek MLG prostrats noscopers to rekk barbarian filthy casuals who don't know where the chaos ember is.

Kopis: POSER WEAPON TRYING TO BE A FALCATA.

Xiphos: Moar liek...frikkin...Big-ass cutting thing. Pretty cool guy.
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DeathETM is not online. DeathETM
Joined: 29 Nov 2013
Total Posts: 5251
08 Sep 2014 07:51 PM
Spartacus: swagyolo buy em inem's new recovery best album

randomaccess
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Guest000o is not online. Guest000o
Joined: 24 Feb 2010
Total Posts: 34197
08 Sep 2014 07:55 PM
Ōdachi: #edgy MCR Linkin Park sword used by hormonal teens to make believe they're their favorite Bleach characters. Used to be top-notch huge-ass Japanese blades used to not actually do anything because they were mostly ceremonial. Suck it, Sephiroth, your sword is a freaking shrine-totem.
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Guest000o is not online. Guest000o
Joined: 24 Feb 2010
Total Posts: 34197
08 Sep 2014 08:03 PM
Do you guys even know how to sword?
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Guest000o is not online. Guest000o
Joined: 24 Feb 2010
Total Posts: 34197
08 Sep 2014 10:18 PM
Okay.
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