keyyon
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| Joined: 15 Jul 2010 |
| Total Posts: 1296 |
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| 02 Sep 2014 11:06 PM |
Time for me to plea my case. I plea the fifth to everything they said but...
Well.....
KING HURRICANE.......................
No lala land, no more games it time that you take a step into shady's lane You and that little liar lion need to step down, i mean come on, was you and aetion even tryin they'res no denyin that lion verse wasnt okay and ill admit it was kind of dope but king hurricane if you think that one verse u did was gonna tear me down you bettah find a rope and tie your neck around it and take a leap of faith or tie and double knot a rock to your foot and float across the arctic lake. Your gonna need to put your life to an end before i do it myself and im a take you to a place where no one will hear you scream "HELP" Imma take you first and turn the lights off upper-cut you twice, then spray your face with lysol let it sting you in the eyes so you can open it up with everything a blurred line they're wont be any surprise that im the one who the cops should come for when you and your mother take a trip to the groccery store but you suddenly have to go to the bathroom i spray the room with poison but at first is smells like perfume you die from the smell and your in the bathroom more like a cell and we will finish on how i killed you when i see yo punk ass in hell.
+AETION+ Now who is this guy tryin to come at it took you this long to respond back. I mean hell your a radical and you make [s] so dramatical i thought that your verse was gonna be like disney on ice, magical but it was nothing but a fatal mistake and i was laughing my ass off so hard that blood began coming out when i cough alot of people can say i fell off, or that i became soft well i did, i hit my wagon, and you became nun but a FEGON Your the puny little kid who still listens to imagine dragons oh your that guy from minecraft who gets upset when he gets killed cause he was laggin. You claim your a legend, why are you braggin about a title or a rank dat you dont deserve you aint do nun but be drakes side bish.. W-Word. yeah i heard altar threw you to the curve that could just be a rumor that i heard or it could be true it doesnt matter what position you choose ill keep on [f]in with you. You can end my fake excuse for an ro-rap career i wont give a [f] ill still be here typing the type of topics that would make your cousin ball in tears i spit this whack verse without fear of bad reviews cause i never gave a [f] this was all just roleplay KingHurricane and Aetion make a beautiful couple who enjoys cosplay aetion i dont know why you would allow such a horrible rapper to collab with you on a song. And king hurricane thinks that he can go on in this "rap game" without me that's funny. HOW IS IT POSSIBLE FOR YOU TO RAP ABOUT INCOME WHEN YOU HAVE NO MONEY. Now all i gotta say is hold up wait a minute when my writer block is over both of yall bishes is finished....
+TheHotWildFire+ I dont even know why you were in on this track maybe its because this was your chance to respond back with some other rappers who may be black and they will help you pick up your slack you improved over the months, but rappin is still a skill you lack you should just keep on producin ro rap music and earnin fake racks im dumbing this down so you can understand i got this entire warefare in the palm of my hand you know how i can get i start out easy most of my rhymes cheesy most of em are basic until it gets real then i might go all out tell me how can you be a wild fire, when your nothing but a gentle flower who will never sprout.
This is just round 1. |
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SomePunk
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| Joined: 13 Feb 2009 |
| Total Posts: 8224 |
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| 03 Sep 2014 12:49 AM |
LOL ITS PLEAD NOT PLEA please learn what you are writing about first |
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keyyon
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| Joined: 15 Jul 2010 |
| Total Posts: 1296 |
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SomePunk
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| Joined: 13 Feb 2009 |
| Total Posts: 8224 |
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| 03 Sep 2014 04:43 PM |
| sorry that I know 3rd grade vocabulary |
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keyyon
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| Joined: 15 Jul 2010 |
| Total Posts: 1296 |
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ducky980
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| Joined: 01 Sep 2012 |
| Total Posts: 9083 |
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Wobull
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| Joined: 07 Apr 2014 |
| Total Posts: 8168 |
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| 03 Sep 2014 07:48 PM |
Some long lines like "but king hurricane if you think that one verse u did was gonna tear me down you bettah find a rope" Broke the flow when I tried rapping it
And "aetion i dont know why you would allow such a horrible rapper to collab with you on a song. And king hurricane thinks that he can go on in this "rap game" without me that's funny." Didn't really sound too good didn't it? Should have tried some internal rhymes if you couldn't have thought of some word for the end |
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keyyon
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| Joined: 15 Jul 2010 |
| Total Posts: 1296 |
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| 03 Sep 2014 07:55 PM |
^ if i cant think of a word that rhymes with something that is too basic at that moment i just move on to the next line.
But i understand where your coming from |
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1Riblock1
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| Joined: 02 May 2011 |
| Total Posts: 4771 |
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keyyon
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| Joined: 15 Jul 2010 |
| Total Posts: 1296 |
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| 03 Sep 2014 08:12 PM |
Rates or comments> Constructive Criticism please. |
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| 03 Sep 2014 08:43 PM |
8.2/10
Rhymes ok, too tired to try to rate this well, but its ok, rhymes good, like the lyrics... idk wat to say here lol |
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keyyon
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| Joined: 15 Jul 2010 |
| Total Posts: 1296 |
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Scribbos
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| Joined: 11 Mar 2010 |
| Total Posts: 7591 |
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| 04 Sep 2014 04:13 PM |
| honestly brah you need improvin. hit up my wip thread nd see what you think of that homie |
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