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| 13 Oct 2012 09:50 AM |
you dont have to try to hardddd you you already have my heart its just right from the start you dont have a thing to provveee not when theres a thing on youuu cuz im already in loveee with u
ok honey i got some secrets to tell u how can i even get through its just me and u getting i know u like me so so just say your fear u wont know i know u like got it got it so there nothing to be afraid about u got me on speed dial man im in a pile all i need is u to smile ok time to start the case in trial
you dont have to try to hardddd you you already have my heart its just right from the start you dont have a thing to provveee not when theres a thing on youuu cuz im already in loveee with u
ok just say ur name no not really this isnt a game i know u feel the same im kiki from the tropicals now im historical yep thats how it goes
you dont have to try to hardddd you you already have my heart its just right from the start you dont have a thing to provveee not when theres a thing on youuu cuz im already in loveee with u (IM KIKI)
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| 13 Oct 2012 09:51 AM |
after reading this, my head hurts.
~My one regret in life is that I am not someone else~ |
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link6249
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| Joined: 06 Jan 2011 |
| Total Posts: 2671 |
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| 13 Oct 2012 10:26 AM |
Why you say "I'M KIKI"
And there's a rule that requires to use grammar. |
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| 13 Oct 2012 10:29 AM |
kiki is my stage name ok and i do use proper grammar
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link6249
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| Joined: 06 Jan 2011 |
| Total Posts: 2671 |
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| 13 Oct 2012 10:59 AM |
No you don't...
and what stage? .-. |
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crayon24
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| Joined: 25 Dec 2009 |
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ducky980
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| Joined: 01 Sep 2012 |
| Total Posts: 9083 |
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| 13 Oct 2012 12:01 PM |
| Im actually quite proud of this! This is a major step up for nicki |
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| 13 Oct 2012 12:22 PM |
| thx ducky all ur advice really helped out |
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Crash6351
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| Joined: 17 Oct 2008 |
| Total Posts: 21489 |
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| 02 Nov 2012 01:45 PM |
"and i do use proper grammar"
me fail english thats unpossible |
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| 17 Nov 2012 09:22 PM |
| i like the song idc what u guyz say |
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Crash6351
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| Joined: 17 Oct 2008 |
| Total Posts: 21489 |
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| 17 Nov 2012 09:25 PM |
"i like the song idc what u guyz say"
1. you only say it because you wrote it 2. if you don't care, then you wouldn't have bumped this thread, let alone said anything in the first place |
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Jared343
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| Joined: 02 Mar 2009 |
| Total Posts: 9030 |
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| 17 Nov 2012 09:32 PM |
| This is bad, like everything else you've written. Either improve heavily, or just stop. |
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| 17 Nov 2012 10:23 PM |
Of course you couldn't finish your incoherent wall of text that you call "a rap" without saying "I'M KIKI" like a moron 0/10 -- ≈Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn! I'a, Cthulhu fhtagn! I'a, Cthulhu fhtagn! I'a, Cthulhu fhtagn!≈ |
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| 17 Nov 2012 10:39 PM |
| U guyz r so annoying now i know y u guyz cant get girlz and people loe my music maybe rap isnt ur ting |
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| 17 Nov 2012 11:44 PM |
I've had girlfriends before...i'm sure no one likes your music
~Snake Bite Emergency Repair Kit~ |
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Crash6351
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| Joined: 17 Oct 2008 |
| Total Posts: 21489 |
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| 19 Nov 2012 12:49 PM |
"U guyz r so annoying now i know y u guyz cant get girlz and people loe my music maybe rap isnt ur ting"
1. you don't know about my love life 2. even if I was single, why would I care? I'm the kind of person that if I'm in a relationship, then I stick to it, and don't search for ones in desperation 3. those people who "loe" your "music" are other ro-rappers who just kiss everyone's ass 4. I love rap, but you're still garbage |
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Crash6351
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| Joined: 17 Oct 2008 |
| Total Posts: 21489 |
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| 19 Nov 2012 12:56 PM |
oh and 5. learn to take criticism, you say you don't care, yet you keep replying to everyone and getting butthurt over no one liking you 6. you said you'd improve, yet you're still just as bad as ever 7. people who work their own name into their own songs are douches 8. stop adding onto more letters onto words like thisssssss. it's annoying, and a sign of bad lyricism 9. read some poetry from the greats like Edgar Allen Poe, and Shel Silverstein. Listen to some music with good lyrics to them like Opeth, or if you're into rap, J Cole, Tech N9ne, and Big KRIT. 10. nicki minaj is a bad idea to get influence from, as well as pretty much almost every modern mainstream rapper. even actual fans of hip-hop think she is terrible. stop listening to her and listen to some better rappers 11. this "song" was meaningless, don't try to be deep since you'll end up failing 12. use grammar, lack of grammar is another sign of bad songwriting
that's all I have for now |
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polska900
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| 19 Nov 2012 01:37 PM |
| The only person who somewhat managed to stick their name or nickname into a song without looking like a prick has probably been Eminem with "My Name Is". |
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| 19 Nov 2012 01:59 PM |
Crash made some really good points, especially about reading poetry from people like Edgar Allen Poe (My personal favorite) and Shel Silverstein
let's cut his feet off |
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ducky980
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| Joined: 01 Sep 2012 |
| Total Posts: 9083 |
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| 24 Aug 2014 12:01 PM |
lol was i really the only one who noticed the plagiarism
hold hold hold hold me tight now cuz im so so good to goo dont say dont say goodnight you knowwww you had me at hello
necrobump |
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Wobull
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| Joined: 07 Apr 2014 |
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| 24 Aug 2014 12:03 PM |
since you necrombumped no, i see it
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