reddanger
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| Joined: 27 May 2009 |
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| 21 Aug 2014 03:31 PM |
"What do you mean you're quitting?" "Sorry, don't take it personally, but I've done crazy for long enough, and I need a break." "Break from what?" "The fun we have, it's become too much for me to handle, seriously. I can't go around sticking a syringe in people to get them to do what we want anymore." "But it's fun, why would you want to give it up?" "Because today I thought about it and felt like I was running around in circles, I mean, just look at us! We go kill whoever we disrespect and make it a game that we always strive to win, but are we really trying to achieve a trophy? No, we're just trying to achieve a few moments of victory, and that's not enough for me anymore." "All these years and suddenly you're tired of it. I know you will never ever change when you decide on doing something though so I won't bother trying to change your decisions." "Thanks." "So what do you plan on doing?" "Dating a few men, maybe only one, and traveling with him all around The Magic Community, discovering things about each-other, you know, fun that doesn't involve extreme violence." "You want to get in a relationship? Really?" "Don't force your one experience crap onto me, I'll figure this out on my own and once I find this man I'll come back to you and the others so we can have a little family reunion, how does that sound?" "Good luck on trying to find that special man, but if you do, we'll all congratulate you and shower you with compassion; leading up to a delicious dinner along with sweet desserts made by you, the one named Sweettooth for a reason." "Basically I'll be in the place I belong." We both laugh. "That'll be fun," he says. "Yeah and then we can tell you about what we've done, actually I think I might have to encourage the others to change our usual way of doing things, so we'll all be surprising each-other with what we've done." "Awesome… so um… thanks for everything. I'm going to go now, since we could accidentally wake up the others and that wouldn't be too polite." "One last hug?" "Sure." We get closer and wrap our arms around each-other, then we let go. "Hope you have fun with this different direction you're taking in life." "Same to you and the others, if any of you ever decide on something like this." "Bye." "Bye." He opens the door and closes it behind him. A few seconds of silence pass by, until a gunshot disrupts it. I quickly open the door to find him to have fell face forward, with the back of his head missing large chunks of flesh and having a few strands of vibrant violent hair hanging off. Blood then rushes out to bathe his bright pink strands in shiny red, leaving a faint metallic odor to fill my nostrils. I look to the left, then to the right. No one's there. The odor grows stronger and stronger, until, coming up from my stomach, puke spills out of my mouth all over the place, and then I fall over onto his body, locked inside a feeling of nausea, something I can fix, and constant questions of why, leading to stress, and constant tears flowing down my face, the things I have never been able to fix.
it probably won't make sense because this is a random piece of my book but whatever
here you go
tell me what you think :D
;) |
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reddanger
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| Joined: 27 May 2009 |
| Total Posts: 38075 |
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reddanger
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| Joined: 27 May 2009 |
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Baconite
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ctZWNq2K
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| Joined: 20 Aug 2014 |
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| 21 Aug 2014 03:50 PM |
sorry but tl;dr
though I did skim through it carefully and I quite say, 6/10.
some parts may be confusing.
though definitely a book I'd look at in the library. |
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dede97
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| Joined: 20 Oct 2007 |
| Total Posts: 1909 |
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| 21 Aug 2014 03:50 PM |
Fabulous
Do she got the booty? she doooo |
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reddanger
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| Joined: 27 May 2009 |
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| 21 Aug 2014 03:55 PM |
"skim through"
well skimming through is a pretty bad idea on this piece but thanks?
"fabulous"
oh my gosh thank you so much
;) |
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Zoonotic
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| Joined: 29 Feb 2012 |
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| 21 Aug 2014 03:56 PM |
i read the first line i instantly thought: LIMS PLZ
huex2 |
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reddanger
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giftbox24
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| 21 Aug 2014 04:33 PM |
sounds like a good concept
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| 21 Aug 2014 04:35 PM |
tl;dr
"I got so excited, I almost kicked myself in the face!" |
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| 21 Aug 2014 04:36 PM |
it's good i'd read it but the dialogue seems a bit too long lol |
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reddanger
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serratus
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| Joined: 10 Aug 2014 |
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reddanger
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Spiteless
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reddanger
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| Joined: 27 May 2009 |
| Total Posts: 38075 |
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reddanger
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| Joined: 27 May 2009 |
| Total Posts: 38075 |
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reddanger
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| Joined: 27 May 2009 |
| Total Posts: 38075 |
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