Zipo99
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| Joined: 11 Oct 2008 |
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| 06 Aug 2014 11:29 PM |
My best friend. A girl for whom I love with unspeakable depths. She chose another over me. Ya, I expected it, however I did not expect the rest of what she did. Ha, we are to stop talking, because, after all, her controlling boyfriend does not allow her to talk to other guys. As C.S. Lewis put it, “To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.”
I feel no spite or resentment toward her. She is just a girl fighting her own battle, and trying to sustain some happiness for herself. She is just a person who wants to be happy. Yes, of course, I think she made the wrong decision, however I won't blame her for it. She is still among the sweetest, kindest, and most beautiful people I have ever met. I love her. Heck, for the longest of times I told myself "you don't know what love feels like," and yet every time I would say goodnight to her I felt like shouting from the rooftops that I loved her. Imagine, for a moment, having that urge to yell something from the rooftops, yet having to suffice for just muttering it under your breath. Yes, I love her, and I will continue to love her for quite some time. She is, after all, my best friend. And as her best friend in turn I will grant her understanding and love and forgiveness and compassion.
She feels awful about this decision, yet believes it will end up being the best choice. She worries for me, and all I want to do is to embrace her and tell her everything is alright. I can move on from this love I have for her in time. She will always be my friend, and I will always be here for her. Make no mistake, I will move on. However I am of the opinion that just because my heart may mend and grow to love another, there will always be room enough for my best friend to find a place there.
As Kurt Vonnegut would say, "So it goes." |
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Guy555606
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| Joined: 24 Aug 2009 |
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GoshiDoll
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| Joined: 05 Sep 2011 |
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| 06 Aug 2014 11:39 PM |
Well...
I don't think anything can be done unless she breaks up with her lover or you find someone else. Some situations can't have anything done with them.
Anyway, I'm really sorry to hear about that. The best thing for you to do is take it easy and even though it's hard; TRY not to think about it too much. Rest your mind from the thought of this. Go outside, do something. Keep away from the thought while the situation figures itself out.
|GoshiDoll, rainbow overlord.| |
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| 06 Aug 2014 11:45 PM |
I might not be your friend but, I can see how you feel. I was denied, from my best friend, and it wasn't in her intention to say no, she loved me, and we date now, but, she had feelings for someone else. But, that boy abused her, and wouldn't even let her talk to her friends. She broke up with him, and he started hitting her, and kicking her, but I was there, and I stuck up for her, and I beat him, until I was sure he was unconscious. The reason why was because I told him to leave her alone, he pushed me, and I pushed him back, and then he hit me and it lead from there.
I hope for your sake, that she'll eventually come back to you, realizing that you were the one the whole time. I hope you feel better.
Your friend, ~Eddie. |
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| 06 Aug 2014 11:47 PM |
| eddie I'm sure none of that is true at all. |
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| 06 Aug 2014 11:48 PM |
| @Convex, you don't have to believe me, and I could care less, but I know it's true, she does, and everyone that witnessed what happened, is true. |
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| 06 Aug 2014 11:50 PM |
| All I can say is, I hope she's happy and that you don't feel bad about yourself because of this. |
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getkucky
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| Joined: 10 Nov 2013 |
| Total Posts: 346 |
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| 06 Aug 2014 11:52 PM |
| its like this friends come and go, even the ones dearest to your hearts |
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| 06 Aug 2014 11:54 PM |
| What exactly did she do that surprised you??? |
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| 06 Aug 2014 11:55 PM |
read chapter 50 and on in the last divergent book the book charcters have it way worse than you
Turkey of OT |
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| 06 Aug 2014 11:58 PM |
"read chapter 50 and on in the last divergent book the book charcters have it way worse than you"
Amazing. A cast of fictional characters in an overrated book series have more important problems than those of a real person with an unscripted, unwritten, undirected life that ensures no happy ending. |
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Zipo99
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| Joined: 11 Oct 2008 |
| Total Posts: 5344 |
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| 07 Aug 2014 01:25 AM |
Thank you all for taking the time to read about and respond to my troubles.
Goshi, I actually just got back from an hour's walk with another of my best friends (my guy best friend opposed to the girl best friend for whom this thread is purposed). I've got to compose a farewell to her for tomorrow night is the last time we shall talk. Aside from that, I will keep Robert Frost's affirmation in mind: In all my years, I can sum up all I have learned about life in three words: It goes on.
Eddie, Everyone is a friend until proven otherwise! I'm glad that things worked out for you in the end. As for my relationship with this girl, I am more upset over losing the ability to talk with my best friend in life than losing the girl to whom my heart belongs. Best friends such as her are hard to come by in life, not to say that finding love is any easier. I'm only 17, after all. Life goes on and I will undoubtedly find new love elsewhere. That does not mean, however, that I will lose any of the appreciation I hold in my heart for her. I've found that very few people understand, even some of my other closest friends. They all judge her for some of the poorer choices she has made in life. They fail to see that every imperfection they spot I see as a mark of strength, character, and beauty. She isn't my "type" they tell me. They tell me things would never work out because she isn't that sort of person. They don't know the girl for whom I fell in love with, they just know their superficial judgements.
Supah, No, I don't feel poorly about myself. I understand her decision even if I may not agree with it. Thank you for the concern, my friend.
Kumi, Could you clarify what you mean by "What exactly did she do that surprised you???" I don't know what specifically you are referring to.
ePup, 1) Ditto what Kumi said. 2) Are you saying that because someone else (a fiction character) has it worse I am not allowed myself to be sad? That's like saying that because someone else has been happier your happiness is worthless. |
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| 07 Aug 2014 01:27 AM |
"Kumi, Could you clarify what you mean by "What exactly did she do that surprised you???" I don't know what specifically you are referring to."
Your first paragraph trails off at "what she did next is what surprised me". |
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Zipo99
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| Joined: 11 Oct 2008 |
| Total Posts: 5344 |
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| 07 Aug 2014 01:32 AM |
| Oh, well, I didn't expect her to cut off from talking with me anymore in order to prolong her relationship with her previous boyfriend. I could rant for a while on what an awful person he is. It isn't that I just don't like him or the competitiveness or whatever. The fact of the matter is that is truly a terrible person. Ha, but I Ana (let's call her that) has developed a sort of addiction to the sadness that he brings her. I don't really know how better to describe it. |
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cheese232
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| Joined: 07 Oct 2007 |
| Total Posts: 2534 |
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| 07 Aug 2014 01:32 AM |
| "In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life - it goes on." -Robert Frost. |
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Zipo99
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| Joined: 11 Oct 2008 |
| Total Posts: 5344 |
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| 07 Aug 2014 01:33 AM |
| I'm fairly certain I actually referenced that quote somewhere in this thread already! Hahaha |
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cheese232
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| Joined: 07 Oct 2007 |
| Total Posts: 2534 |
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| 07 Aug 2014 01:34 AM |
| Dang I must've tl;dr'd it. Apologies. |
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vienna456
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| Joined: 12 Sep 2010 |
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| 07 Aug 2014 01:36 AM |
@zipo
some guys just dont like their gf's having guys as friends....
im sure she still likes you but just cant have u as a friend for now
just remember it has nothing to do with you or how good of friend you have been
to her....it has more to do with her relationship with this other guy |
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Akrylix
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| Joined: 13 Feb 2013 |
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| 07 Aug 2014 01:37 AM |
| As I've said before, I hope you're okay, and I wish you the best of luck on at least keeping her as a friend. And I can't imagine how terrible it must feel, knowing you love her, and she's dating someone who makes her sad. |
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| 07 Aug 2014 01:38 AM |
| ~Some of them want to abuse you... some of them want to be abused by you...~ |
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GoshiDoll
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| Joined: 05 Sep 2011 |
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| 07 Aug 2014 01:40 AM |
@Moris
Wow I haven't heard that song in ages.
@Zip
Well it's good to know you're making progress. Good luck mate! |
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cheese232
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| Joined: 07 Oct 2007 |
| Total Posts: 2534 |
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| 07 Aug 2014 01:41 AM |
| Okay let me try this one. People, in your life, are going to come and go. Some might stay, but more often than not, people come in, make memories, positive and negative, teach you a lesson or two, and eventually they're gone. And you're doing the same for others. It's sad, but it's also the beauty of existence. Sometimes, you want to hold on to somebody longer than you should, and it rarely ends well. Of all things, How I Met Your Mother taught me that "some people have an expiration date." It hurts, but one day you'll look back with newfound perspective, and it'll all click together. Trust me. |
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Zipo99
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| Joined: 11 Oct 2008 |
| Total Posts: 5344 |
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| 07 Aug 2014 01:47 AM |
Cheese, not a problem. I know that I often write more than many are willing to read. Looking at it, I actually referenced that quote in a response to Goshi, not in the main block itself. Have a fantastic night, friend.
Vienna, Yep, I know. He is very controlling and jealous. When I was first getting to know her, he broke up with her saying that she wasn't allowed to talk to someone so attractive. Ya... She also (I convinced her to stand up for herself on this one) used to have to give him access to all of her accounts (email, facebook, etc...) so that he could make sure she wasn't cheating on him. Although, funny enough, he has cheated on her twice. She isn't allowed to talk to any other guy, although for the longest time she broke that rule for me. She isn't allowed to look at any other guy that could be considered attractive. The list continues.
Thank you Akrylix.
Kumi, “We accept the love we think we deserve.” ― Stephen Chbosky, The Perks of Being a Wallflower. Knowing her past, this quote fits rather well. |
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