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Re: I FIXED MY SHORT STORY

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reddanger is not online. reddanger
Joined: 27 May 2009
Total Posts: 38075
01 Aug 2014 10:26 PM
I remember when I was little
I would think that I would grow up and marry a wonderful man to spend the rest of my life with
I kept focusing on it until I finally got what I wanted
For a few moments
It was wonderful
But I realized
I didn't wish for happiness along the way
Big mistake
It felt like someone had slapped me in the face
To be specific, he went off for another woman, something people do that I didn't really take notice to
All my dreams and fantasies crumbled
Like a house of cards
Which I felt like I had actually built steadily all the way to the top
The high of accomplishment
I wanted that moment to last forever
But you can't freeze it in time as a souvenir
That's just not how life works
I thought it was though
The idea is so simple
You marry who you love and everything works out
But life wants you to experience struggles
If you can overcome it or not is up to you
For me
I'm still here
I know about a lot of nasty things in the world
Yet I didn't accept the fact that I could be cheated on
I believed it would never ever happen and I would live a glorious life
The happiness I did feel but it was all set up
A big lie that seemed so real
And if someone can make it seem that real
Others can too, right?
How do you create a trust that this person isn't a fake?
Now the only thing I can imagine is lying in bed
Past three AM
Distracted by the thoughts of what he could be doing when I'm not around
Not the amazing things we could be experiencing together
Maybe it'll come back
The feeling that we'll be forever
Like the ending in fairytales
Happily ever after

isn't quite as choppy

longer

kind of gives you more insight as to how this person was and how they are now

tell me what you think and if you see any grammar errors

;)
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reddanger is not online. reddanger
Joined: 27 May 2009
Total Posts: 38075
01 Aug 2014 10:32 PM
please

;)
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reddanger is not online. reddanger
Joined: 27 May 2009
Total Posts: 38075
01 Aug 2014 10:40 PM
SRSLY GUYS

;)
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reddanger is not online. reddanger
Joined: 27 May 2009
Total Posts: 38075
01 Aug 2014 10:42 PM
crying

;)
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0netwo3six is not online. 0netwo3six
Joined: 25 Oct 2013
Total Posts: 6362
01 Aug 2014 10:43 PM
10/10
saved to hard drive

_/Siggy.txt__Missing file or directory. Removed by: LOGIC.exe\_
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reddanger is not online. reddanger
Joined: 27 May 2009
Total Posts: 38075
01 Aug 2014 10:45 PM
"saved"

that sounds like you're trying to steal it

;)
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