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| 17 Nov 2012 08:56 PM |
champtre 1: the beginning
teddy was out one day living the strenuous life when suddenly an aide came out of the bushes
hearing the rustling teddy roosvelt threw his gun ont he ground saying "this ones personal" and jump into bush
"ow" said aide
"sorry i thought you was bear" say roosvelt
"we have important business demon spaniard bears are oppressing cuba aagain" say aid
"oh no" say tedy "i must form rough rider team"
"yes" say aid
chaptrre 2: rough rider asembly
"rough rider asembly" shoult tedy at top of lung "we fight demon spaniard bears"
"hooray" say ruff rider who was to cool for rough
then all rough rider asemble
"i cal u for on reason" say tedy to rough rider asembly "we fight evil spaniard demon bear who take cuba it very important"
they all cheer except one name john shrank
"i kill tedy" said shrank "demon spaniard bear is my father"
chaptre 3: demon spaniard bear attack
shrank take gun and go to tedy hous he say "this for demon spaniard bear" and pull tiger
luckly tedy strong lik lion and kil tiger
"this mean war" say shrank and run away
"demon spaniard bears you shall not corrupt another american" say tedy as he grab big stick
next day tedy go recruit more rough rider (there are many demon spaniard bear)
he almos redy for speak when shrank jump out again
he say "die america" and pul triger
bullet hit tedy who say "ow" before kill shrank with bare hand
"dont worry i have only been shhot" say tedy "because regular bullet cant kill me"
"yay" says panama which tedy just cut in half
"yay" says america
"no" says alfonso king of demon spaniard bears "i must send better spy"
"no" say his mom "tedy already in cuba"
champtr 4: amazon
so tedy ride up san juan hil and kil demon spaniard bear army "no" say king of demon spaniard bear "i come get you tedy" and they fight andd teddy win "no" say king of demon spaniard bear "come get me" and he jump in boat up amazon with tedy wife
"my wife" say tedty "now im angry" and he grab boat and chase demon spaniard bear
chaptre 5: river of dout
tedy need help on river so he call son kermit
"ok dad lets kill demon spaniard bear"
they take boat up river and see demon spaniard bear
"return wife vilain" say tedy
"never" sya alfonso who release mosquito
"oh no malaria" say tedy "leave me and save your mom"
"no" said kermit "only you can kill demon spaniard bear"
"ok" said tedy
and they go up river and find demon zombie bera king alfonso and wife
"return wife now" say roosvelt
"first defeat asma" say alfonso
"no asma i defeat in childhood" roosvelt shout
"i back" say asma as he punches tedy lungs
chaptre 6: final battle
kermit say "dad dont die i get inhaler"
tedy say "thank son but i dont need it" as he choke asma
"ok" kermit say
"lets setle like mne" say alfonso
"yes" said teddy "i brot my knif"
"aaaaaA" say alfonso as he charge tedy with bear hand
"die" say tedy as he stab alfonso
"no i am dying" say alfonso and he cut tedy chest wit calw
"ow" said tedy "i am dying to"
"no dad we must save you" kermit
"no son" say roosvelt "i hav servd purpose i save wife i save cuba i bifurcate panama i save america"
kermit cry as his fater die
"my work here is done" say tedy "please put out the light" and then he die
"nooooooooooooooooooooo" say kermit and tedy wife
"its ok" say tedy gost "i will return"
"ok" say america
america mourn tedy much so much they carve mountaininto tedy and so he stay to this day protect america with tedy mountain head
end
rate 1-10 please? |
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| 17 Nov 2012 08:57 PM |
"demon spaniard bears are oppressing cuba aagain"
cuban demon spaniard bear crisis |
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Milbert23
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| Joined: 04 Mar 2009 |
| Total Posts: 23533 |
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| 17 Nov 2012 08:58 PM |
| accurate depiction of history |
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| 17 Nov 2012 09:00 PM |
milbert
it actually mostly is accurate just with demon spaniard bears randomly thrown in and in anachronistic order |
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| 17 Nov 2012 09:02 PM |
uhm
what's a number over infinity? |
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| 23 Nov 2012 08:03 PM |
| bumping my glorious magnum opus |
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Skellor
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| Joined: 01 Jul 2011 |
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| 25 Nov 2012 12:37 PM |
skellor
10 out of what?
also bumping for those who did not see this legendary literary achievement in its first two runs |
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| 12 Jul 2013 02:37 PM |
| people must see the greatest literary work this forum has ever produced |
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Skellor
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| Joined: 01 Jul 2011 |
| Total Posts: 66606 |
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| 12 Jul 2013 02:46 PM |
this forum can be deleted entirely now except for my glorious a tier fanfics everything else is going to just be anticlimax |
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Skellor
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| Joined: 01 Jul 2011 |
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| 12 Jul 2013 02:46 PM |
| instead of all these subforums it will be the fanfic forum but only you can post on it |
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| 11 May 2014 06:32 PM |
| behold again plebeians hahaha |
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| 24 May 2014 12:58 PM |
"behold again plebeians hahaha"
came back for one post to literally say this |
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Boeing717
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| Joined: 08 Jun 2008 |
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| 18 Jun 2014 09:53 AM |
| kids today cannot appreciate the great works of literature |
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Qwazdingo
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| Joined: 06 Jan 2014 |
| Total Posts: 395 |
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| 01 Aug 2014 10:05 PM |
I went damn near two years of my life without witnessing this
Life is now a closing act |
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| 01 Aug 2014 10:06 PM |
qwazola
really? i posted this like 20 times in varying versions on varying accounts |
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Qwazdingo
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| Joined: 06 Jan 2014 |
| Total Posts: 395 |
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| 01 Aug 2014 10:08 PM |
I guess I must have missed it There were certain rising actions that had to have taken place in my lifetime first before I was destined for this climax, y'feel? |
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| 01 Aug 2014 10:10 PM |
| I feel like reading this makes me dumber. |
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Qwazdingo
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| Joined: 06 Jan 2014 |
| Total Posts: 395 |
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| 01 Aug 2014 10:12 PM |
"I feel like reading this makes me dumber."
You really need a good smack across the face with the phallus of iron NO JOKE
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| 01 Aug 2014 10:13 PM |
"I feel like reading this makes me dumber."
fun fact: every single chapter is (loosely) based on a real event from theodore roosevelt's life except in the directors cut teddy roosevelt never came back to life to help the ghostbusters save the world |
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