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Re: "Dude, what's that in the sky? DUDE, RUN! GOG GO G-"

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happysupercooldude99 is not online. happysupercooldude99
Joined: 25 Jun 2012
Total Posts: 7380
27 Jul 2014 05:14 PM
*title is from part of a line in-game*


Aliens. Never thought they were real, did you? Well, your mind is going to be blown. Today at high school, well...um...


I can't tell you. You'll be amazed.


This roeplay is about you, your friend, and the rest of your schoolmates, in high school. The plot is that aliens- friendly ones- actually crashed on earth, and it happened to be right in your area. They actually speak English but do not know a THING about humans, and you and every other person on earth has to actually take care of one. There are two types of aliens in this roeplay; and those are Higgins and Fortisms. A Higgin looks like a small green blob with one eye and nothing else, and a Fortisim is a blue creature with a football-shaped head, and white spots on each point, or side and the rest of it just looks like a skinny, tiny human body.


Character Sheet


Name:
Age:
Date of birth:
Outfit:
Hair style:
Hair colour:
Eye colour:
Personality:
Alien type owned:
Usual behaviour:
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TheRanRanRu is not online. TheRanRanRu
Joined: 08 Nov 2011
Total Posts: 4212
27 Jul 2014 05:15 PM
...
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happysupercooldude99 is not online. happysupercooldude99
Joined: 25 Jun 2012
Total Posts: 7380
27 Jul 2014 05:17 PM
Name: Sam T. Alklin
Age: 17
Date of birth: 18 Nov. 1999
Outfit: Jeans with a white shirt and glasses.
Hair style: Curly
Hair colour: Oarngeish-red
Eye colour: Blue
Personality: Friendly, always there to comfort you and very loyal.
Alien type owned: Fortisim
Usual behaviour: Good and calm
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Laceflower is not online. Laceflower
Joined: 14 Aug 2011
Total Posts: 527
27 Jul 2014 05:18 PM
oarngeish
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happysupercooldude99 is not online. happysupercooldude99
Joined: 25 Jun 2012
Total Posts: 7380
27 Jul 2014 05:24 PM
Sor-ry.
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PurringThunder is not online. PurringThunder
Joined: 23 Apr 2014
Total Posts: 16465
27 Jul 2014 05:39 PM
Sky? Sky?

A mere ten minutes ago, the sky was green, thunder was rumbling and crackling almost non-stop, and at one point, there was a brilliant flash, a power surge, and a POP of thunder, all in the same moment.


It's strange to think that was only ten minutes ago, because currently, it is light out again, and the layer of clouds has thinned out.
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PickachuGirl is not online. PickachuGirl
Joined: 19 Apr 2008
Total Posts: 42645
27 Jul 2014 05:40 PM
alien slavery
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evilploppa is not online. evilploppa
Joined: 07 Dec 2013
Total Posts: 3938
27 Jul 2014 05:40 PM
... [2]
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TheRanRanRu is not online. TheRanRanRu
Joined: 08 Nov 2011
Total Posts: 4212
27 Jul 2014 06:27 PM
...[3]
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StreetwiseArchimedes is not online. StreetwiseArchimedes
Joined: 16 Sep 2012
Total Posts: 5321
27 Jul 2014 06:32 PM
I--

. . . .

I just--

I can't think of anything nice to say about this.
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romuluz is not online. romuluz
Joined: 12 Apr 2010
Total Posts: 18124
27 Jul 2014 06:38 PM
Plot twist!

Aliens were actually Nafarian and have declared war on humanity.

They are now rounding up the kids in the high school to be re educated.

gg no re.
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evilploppa is not online. evilploppa
Joined: 07 Dec 2013
Total Posts: 3938
27 Jul 2014 07:04 PM
^

u wot m8, ur actually a human too
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happysupercooldude99 is not online. happysupercooldude99
Joined: 25 Jun 2012
Total Posts: 7380
27 Jul 2014 07:05 PM
Nobody has a CS.

xD
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PurringThunder is not online. PurringThunder
Joined: 23 Apr 2014
Total Posts: 16465
27 Jul 2014 07:06 PM
good cop or bad cop?
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PurringThunder is not online. PurringThunder
Joined: 23 Apr 2014
Total Posts: 16465
27 Jul 2014 07:17 PM
pick one, dude
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happysupercooldude99 is not online. happysupercooldude99
Joined: 25 Jun 2012
Total Posts: 7380
27 Jul 2014 07:18 PM
...Both.
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PurringThunder is not online. PurringThunder
Joined: 23 Apr 2014
Total Posts: 16465
27 Jul 2014 07:28 PM
Both?

Alrighty then, here we go.

Good: Okay, sir, I understand that you put some effort into writing this...
Bad: Although it doesn't exactly LOOK like it....
Good: But you could still use a little more work.
Bad: By that, we mean a LOT a bit of work. First of all, aliens are so cliche.
Good: You can make it original, but it takes-
Bad: ACTUAL EFFORT.
Good: Bad cop, be quiet!
Bad: Hmph.
Good: It's much more difficult to make a
Bad: *ahem* WELL-WRITTEN
Good: -roleplay out of an overused idea than a less used, more original idea. I like how you put in something unexpected in your roleplay there, but there IS such a thing as being too original.
Bad: That was a terrible use of the word 'original,' good cop.
Good: Secondly, it's a good idea to tell the audience the main plot. Suspense and surprises are all very good, but you're just being silly.
Bad: It's obvious that you couldn't think of a good enough plot, so you just decided "not to tell us."
Good: All in all, though, I can see your creativity. You have potential there. But you need practice.
Bad: A lot of it.
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MrVincent is not online. MrVincent
Joined: 10 Apr 2009
Total Posts: 2553
27 Jul 2014 07:31 PM
W-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w..


What?
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romuluz is not online. romuluz
Joined: 12 Apr 2010
Total Posts: 18124
27 Jul 2014 07:34 PM
I wouldn't say aliens are cliche but the way you used them certainly is.

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gwebster2 is not online. gwebster2
Joined: 29 Aug 2010
Total Posts: 5671
27 Jul 2014 07:35 PM
(age 17

birthdate, 1999)


YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING ME

COME ON

FFS

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MrVincent is not online. MrVincent
Joined: 10 Apr 2009
Total Posts: 2553
27 Jul 2014 07:38 PM
Two years makes a difference.


...

IDK WAT DO
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