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| 27 Jul 2014 05:14 PM |
*title is from part of a line in-game*
Aliens. Never thought they were real, did you? Well, your mind is going to be blown. Today at high school, well...um...
I can't tell you. You'll be amazed.
This roeplay is about you, your friend, and the rest of your schoolmates, in high school. The plot is that aliens- friendly ones- actually crashed on earth, and it happened to be right in your area. They actually speak English but do not know a THING about humans, and you and every other person on earth has to actually take care of one. There are two types of aliens in this roeplay; and those are Higgins and Fortisms. A Higgin looks like a small green blob with one eye and nothing else, and a Fortisim is a blue creature with a football-shaped head, and white spots on each point, or side and the rest of it just looks like a skinny, tiny human body.
Character Sheet
Name: Age: Date of birth: Outfit: Hair style: Hair colour: Eye colour: Personality: Alien type owned: Usual behaviour:
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| 27 Jul 2014 05:17 PM |
Name: Sam T. Alklin Age: 17 Date of birth: 18 Nov. 1999 Outfit: Jeans with a white shirt and glasses. Hair style: Curly Hair colour: Oarngeish-red Eye colour: Blue Personality: Friendly, always there to comfort you and very loyal. Alien type owned: Fortisim Usual behaviour: Good and calm
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| 27 Jul 2014 05:39 PM |
Sky? Sky?
A mere ten minutes ago, the sky was green, thunder was rumbling and crackling almost non-stop, and at one point, there was a brilliant flash, a power surge, and a POP of thunder, all in the same moment.
It's strange to think that was only ten minutes ago, because currently, it is light out again, and the layer of clouds has thinned out. |
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| 27 Jul 2014 06:32 PM |
I--
. . . .
I just--
I can't think of anything nice to say about this. |
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romuluz
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| Joined: 12 Apr 2010 |
| Total Posts: 18124 |
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| 27 Jul 2014 06:38 PM |
Plot twist!
Aliens were actually Nafarian and have declared war on humanity.
They are now rounding up the kids in the high school to be re educated.
gg no re. |
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| 27 Jul 2014 07:04 PM |
^
u wot m8, ur actually a human too |
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| 27 Jul 2014 07:28 PM |
Both?
Alrighty then, here we go.
Good: Okay, sir, I understand that you put some effort into writing this... Bad: Although it doesn't exactly LOOK like it.... Good: But you could still use a little more work. Bad: By that, we mean a LOT a bit of work. First of all, aliens are so cliche. Good: You can make it original, but it takes- Bad: ACTUAL EFFORT. Good: Bad cop, be quiet! Bad: Hmph. Good: It's much more difficult to make a Bad: *ahem* WELL-WRITTEN Good: -roleplay out of an overused idea than a less used, more original idea. I like how you put in something unexpected in your roleplay there, but there IS such a thing as being too original. Bad: That was a terrible use of the word 'original,' good cop. Good: Secondly, it's a good idea to tell the audience the main plot. Suspense and surprises are all very good, but you're just being silly. Bad: It's obvious that you couldn't think of a good enough plot, so you just decided "not to tell us." Good: All in all, though, I can see your creativity. You have potential there. But you need practice. Bad: A lot of it. |
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MrVincent
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| Joined: 10 Apr 2009 |
| Total Posts: 2553 |
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| 27 Jul 2014 07:31 PM |
W-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w..
What? |
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romuluz
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| Joined: 12 Apr 2010 |
| Total Posts: 18124 |
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| 27 Jul 2014 07:34 PM |
I wouldn't say aliens are cliche but the way you used them certainly is.
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gwebster2
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| Joined: 29 Aug 2010 |
| Total Posts: 5671 |
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| 27 Jul 2014 07:35 PM |
(age 17
birthdate, 1999)
YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING ME
COME ON
FFS
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MrVincent
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| Joined: 10 Apr 2009 |
| Total Posts: 2553 |
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| 27 Jul 2014 07:38 PM |
Two years makes a difference.
...
IDK WAT DO |
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