BasedFox
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| Joined: 19 Jul 2010 |
| Total Posts: 24373 |
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| 11 Jul 2014 01:58 AM |
As most of you have heard over the past 24+ hours, you've most likely heard about the league's retirement following the end of the 12th season, which will be ending in early September. Let me tell you the things that have gone through my mind since then. Soon after making the decision, Vezzie and I took a trip to every single classic RHL arena from the first game to where we are now. The though of giving it up killed me. The past few days I have been in tears - yes, tears - because of depression with life and how after the league ends, I have nothing to do and nobody to hang out with. It just felt raw to say that after all this time, the league was just going to end because of this. This league saved my life, no doubt. Really, without you guys and without this league, I would most likely be dead now because of depression and how I am treated in real life. I've recently been in probably the deepest part of my life emotionally, and last night I sat and cried that I was saying goodbye to my childhood and moving on. Right now I am still extremely depressed with the current phase I am in with my life. I'm shy, not really liked, and most importantly - ignored. This league has been the ticket to getting away from all of it. From the beginning, I went from having fun with the league and not knowing how to do anything to having a good understanding of the amount of work that is needed to keep a league running like it is now. Over the past couple of days, I've slacked. If you haven't noticed, the stats have not been getting done and I have been showing up to less games. I have just been slowly been getting more and more upset with the current condition of my emotions and my physical being in what is called "life". After some thought, I've decided that letting this league go would probably cause me a lot more mental problems, including me getting involved more and more with the arguments between my parents and being the person in the middle of it all. I'd also be susceptible to extreme amounts of bullying in school and then more arguing when I got home. The last time I felt this way was back in fourth grade when one of my friends passed because of being shot by his father, and it really was the first time I contemplated...you know...kill...ing...myself. I really don't think I would have gone as far as that, but I always thought that I ended up on the wrong foot before he died, and I was never able to make up our troubles, and that was the worst part of it. He was just suddenly gone. I feel like this league is the only way I'm going to stay alive honestly. I really need help mentally, I've been suggested to do stuff about it and I am currently thinking about it.
As for the league however, because of this, I really don't think I will be ending the RHL after Season 12. There is just too much to risk for my life and I've gotten some feedback that has really made me think about it. However, a lot of changes will be coming next season, and that's for sure. I will need more people to help pitch in with certain jobs to help the league run smoother, and I will need more people to ref and take responsibility. I want to make sure the people that work in their specific line of the league are experienced as can be and are willing to constantly dedicate themselves to the league no matter what happens. Of course this doesn't mean you have to sit and breathe the league 24/7, because we will have back-ups and such, but the league really needs a makeover. It's like a 2010 league that was made for 10 people. The amount of work that I have put into this league is way too much to suddenly stop it before it finally got its time to shine. We still have a long way to go, and with your guys' help by making it easy on not only myself, but also everyone else, such as respecting one-another and not arguing, that makes me more motivated to keep the league going for more and more seasons. Please guys, please just help me out. The constant hate is really making me upset with life, and I'm not saying that I'm going to kill my...self over an online league or anything, but it really makes me depressed.
I hope you guys enjoy the news that the league is most likely going to stay for more seasons, but just keep a note that the better you guys treat each other, the longer this league is going to last.
Thank you guys for understanding.
ᗷᗩᔕᕮᗪℱ〇᙭ - "Life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer you get to the end, the faster it goes." |
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| 11 Jul 2014 02:00 AM |
good decision ben
Iᴛ ᴀɪɴᴛ ᴇᴀsʏ, ʙᴇɪɴɢ Cʜᴇᴇsᴇʏ. |
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BasedFox
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| Joined: 19 Jul 2010 |
| Total Posts: 24373 |
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| 11 Jul 2014 02:08 AM |
Am I guaranteeing that the league will stay? No. But it all depends on if I find something else better to do with my life before the start of Season 13. I'm not sure.
ᗷᗩᔕᕮᗪℱ〇᙭ - "Life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer you get to the end, the faster it goes." |
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| 11 Jul 2014 02:55 AM |
Go out and do something? Join a group? Become apart of something? Volunteer, get a job?
The fact that roblox could draw the line between happiness/depression is bad |
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BasedFox
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| Joined: 19 Jul 2010 |
| Total Posts: 24373 |
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| 11 Jul 2014 03:20 AM |
Go out and do something? Join a group? Become apart of something? Volunteer, get a job?
I live near two people that never go outside and never do anything. Nowhere near me offers jobs to 14 year-olds.
ᗷᗩᔕᕮᗪℱ〇᙭ - "Life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer you get to the end, the faster it goes." |
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L3G1Tguy
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| Joined: 24 Sep 2011 |
| Total Posts: 488 |
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| 11 Jul 2014 05:30 AM |
Try and get some babes?
I got like 7 babes that I talk to |
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L3G1Tguy
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| Joined: 24 Sep 2011 |
| Total Posts: 488 |
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| 11 Jul 2014 05:42 AM |
oh.... i didnt read all of it...
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Mitchmole
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| Joined: 04 May 2010 |
| Total Posts: 337 |
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| 11 Jul 2014 07:47 AM |
| No Ben, don't thans us for understanding, thank yourself for taking time to think this one over. This is our childhood, and I don't think I'm ready to leave until I can't make games or go to college tbh. I am currently seeing how coding works and all of the basics, and this next year, my junior year in hs, I am taking several computer classes including a new class they call "Video Game Development", so I hope I works out. |
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| 11 Jul 2014 08:47 AM |
| not on a team but this is a good decision |
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| 11 Jul 2014 08:49 AM |
| bad decision because the people here are bad |
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| 11 Jul 2014 08:49 AM |
| Good decision Ben, I know how it feels because it's happened to me but it will get better. |
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| 11 Jul 2014 09:11 AM |
Jfc... How did ik...
"BeMad"~AAA |
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| 11 Jul 2014 09:51 AM |
You obviously put much thought into this, so good decision.
"IDC WHY ARE THEY TALKING ABOUT THIS AND NOT GETTING ME UNSUSPENDED CMON I HAVE ASSBURGERS!?" Mr. Recon responded. |
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| 11 Jul 2014 10:18 AM |
| Ben, if you need to leave go ahead because when you do get a job and when you do move on RHL isn't going to be helpful to you, you cant expect to go to work then that night run all of these games finish at like 11 then update the website and then go to bed wake up tired go to work and keep doing this cycle do you, Do what is going to help you get further in life think about Ben please. |
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Smalls19
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| Joined: 28 Jun 2012 |
| Total Posts: 658 |
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| 11 Jul 2014 10:36 AM |
| Ben I hope you dont go... but IK its your decision. I argue with my parents a lot too. IK how u feel. I respect u. |
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BMLGUY
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| Joined: 20 Jul 2011 |
| Total Posts: 36711 |
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| 11 Jul 2014 10:41 AM |
I read the entire thing.
A tear just ran down my face.
"YOU CAN'T DO BAD CALLS, YOU,RE NOT ALLOWED" -Gh0stRecon49 |
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Godaids
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| Joined: 14 Jan 2012 |
| Total Posts: 17059 |
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Roseart2
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| Joined: 17 Jul 2010 |
| Total Posts: 23532 |
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| 11 Jul 2014 10:50 AM |
ben, pls.
as the original player.
yudoesthis
muh muscle |
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| 11 Jul 2014 11:02 AM |
| I would love to read all of that but I passed out after the first paragraph so ya love u benny |
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