Assalto
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| Joined: 31 Dec 2011 |
| Total Posts: 9149 |
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| 30 May 2014 08:51 PM |
This is just a little something I decided to write. Not sure where I'll go with it. Anyways, if you've got any comments, feel free to leave them.
A thick, ominous haze hung over the valley. The roaring wind whined through the forests below, carrying with it the acrid scent of wet soil. The land lay eerily silent, and not a single animal could be heard during the twilight hours. The sky held a yellowish tinge, and ashen clouds seemed to be preparing to unleash the fury held within them. A storm was coming.
Meanwhile, the sounds of footsteps crunching upon dead leaves and twigs penetrated deep into the foreboding quiet. A column of troops solemnly marched between the pillars of trees, unsure of where they were headed, and what they were meant to do. Their commander had simply told them to follow him, and out of either fear or respect, they followed him with no questions or opposition. Though it was not stated, they knew from experience that those who refused orders would be indicted on charges of treason and shot dead on the spot.
What the soldiers did know, however, was that they were vastly unequipped for whatever lie ahead. Dull flashes of cerulean light had begun to pierce the billowing clouds in the sky above: the tell-tale sign of a ship formerly in orbit descending to the planet below. The guerillas were armed with outdated projectile weaponry, relics of a time gone by. Their apparel could be considered subpar at best: many of them wore faded khakis, tattered shorts, and homemade, threadbare vests designed to carry their excess gear. A minority of them carried jury-rigged explosives that could be used in a futile attempt to disintegrate their opposition (or themselves, as was often the case).
While these soldiers were fit to raid and pillage defenseless hamlets and farms, in no situation would they be able to compete against even a reasonably well equipped force. None of them, with the exception of their leader, had any experience in a firefight. They were used to villagers surrendering their possessions to them out of pure terror. Only a minority of them had ever actually fired their weapons, due to the scarcity of ammunition in the remnants of the fallen country.
On that fateful, bitter day, however, luck had been on their side.
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| 30 May 2014 09:02 PM |
| Wow, that's some smashing stuff. Very descriptive yet vague on the general picture. I love it. |
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cashpop
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| Joined: 11 Aug 2008 |
| Total Posts: 2984 |
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Assalto
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| Joined: 31 Dec 2011 |
| Total Posts: 9149 |
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Inversus
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Bydorn
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| Joined: 03 Jun 2014 |
| Total Posts: 87 |
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| 08 Jun 2014 06:25 AM |
You shoulder consider joining Corus. It's an amazing piece of work.
I'll give it a 9/10. I didn't really like some of your word choices. Like yellowish. |
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Assalto
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| Joined: 31 Dec 2011 |
| Total Posts: 9149 |
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IceGleam
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| Joined: 24 Oct 2013 |
| Total Posts: 4768 |
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| 16 Jun 2014 05:25 PM |
| Magnificently talented, greater than J.K. Rowling and J.R.R. Tolkien riff-raff. |
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CaIculus
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| Joined: 27 Feb 2009 |
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| 16 Jun 2014 05:44 PM |
niceeee
Add 46,604- http://www.roblox.com/Forum/ShowPost.aspx?PostID=136274563 |
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Assalto
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| Joined: 31 Dec 2011 |
| Total Posts: 9149 |
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| 20 Jun 2014 07:38 PM |
give me more feedback children i need motivation to continue |
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Rivalize
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| Joined: 01 Mar 2013 |
| Total Posts: 5826 |
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Assalto
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| Joined: 31 Dec 2011 |
| Total Posts: 9149 |
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