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Re: Creepypasta Attempt: Diary of Herbert Stalding

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lou222 is not online. lou222
Joined: 04 Dec 2009
Total Posts: 6907
11 Jun 2014 05:43 PM
Entry One: January 18, 1871

Hello, me! How are you doing today? I hope you are doing fine. In case you are wondering(or have just forgotten), I have started this journal of sorts to remind myself of this grand adventure I have been planning for some time. I have planned to travel to the old estate of Jeremiah Cunningham. Again, if you have forgotten, Jeremiah was an old, wealthy Englishman who lived right here in Northampton. On the 20th, i shall set out for the estate with my loyal research crew. The only one afraid of our "expedition" is my photography, Daniel. I feel sorry for Daniel as he suffers from severe nyctophobia. Why am I bringing my research crew? I plan to discover what he was known to protect with great care. Rumour has it that Jeremiah even started to hoard objects to avoid going outside and risk being caught with his precious artifact. I will continue this on January 20th, for tomorrow I will just be packing, for I plan to stay for 5 days. Goodbye, for now.

Should I continue?
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4fb is not online. 4fb
Joined: 25 May 2014
Total Posts: 6913
11 Jun 2014 05:45 PM
WOW :P
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lou222 is not online. lou222
Joined: 04 Dec 2009
Total Posts: 6907
11 Jun 2014 05:49 PM
@4
wat
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lou222 is not online. lou222
Joined: 04 Dec 2009
Total Posts: 6907
11 Jun 2014 06:15 PM
Entry 2: January 20th, 1871

This morning we finished our packing and headed for the estate. We decided to take a horse-drawn carriage to carry around our substantial amount of gear. It was my own carriage, remember? The one you took Samantha on the day of our honeymoon? Poor Samantha, its a shame she passed so quickly. I still despise rats to this day. Anyway, we arrived at the old property at approximately 10:30 AM. The house was in great condition, despite being abandoned for so long. That was another odd thing about this man. Even though he stayed inside, he managed to keep his mansion in a wonderful state. We set up base camp outside, for we did not want to tamper with the furniture inside before we began our investigation. Besides the house, the yard was grotesque. Feces and garbage and all sorts of disgusting things LITTERED the ground. It took two hours of cleaning just to make a spot for us to set up. But we prevailed, and we now have a place of operations. I find it great to say that after many years!
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pluspower is not online. pluspower
Joined: 21 Jul 2008
Total Posts: 32298
11 Jun 2014 06:24 PM
Nothing good can come from the inside of this mansion.
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lou222 is not online. lou222
Joined: 04 Dec 2009
Total Posts: 6907
11 Jun 2014 06:39 PM
Entry 2(cont.): January 20th, 1871

Five minutes ago, we finished eating our dinner. Smoke Lamb served with baked potatoes made by yours truly. At around 6:10 PM, we finally ventured inside the mansion. As soon as we entered, our hopes began to diminish a bit. It felt eerie, almost as if deep down we knew not be be there. Odd also because the main lobby, as I liked to call it, was perfectly fine. Yes, there was the creaking boards and coldness that you would find in any mansion, but what struck me most was the paintings. They seemed to show sadness, like they we're altered to appear that way. I knew this was not just superstition. How, you ask? Look for the painting entitled "The Boy Of Alstadt". It wont be hard to find, for I have labeled all my paintings. The boy is smiling, right? The velvet stuffed bear in his arms. Well, I found the same painting. The boy was crying, and the bear was in ruin. However, this did not discourage me, and I pressed on.
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lou222 is not online. lou222
Joined: 04 Dec 2009
Total Posts: 6907
11 Jun 2014 06:41 PM
bump
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lou222 is not online. lou222
Joined: 04 Dec 2009
Total Posts: 6907
11 Jun 2014 08:48 PM
feedback pls
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DougHalemfrost is not online. DougHalemfrost
Joined: 08 Jun 2014
Total Posts: 183
11 Jun 2014 08:50 PM
notbad.png
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Flebale is not online. Flebale
Joined: 16 Jun 2012
Total Posts: 8454
11 Jun 2014 08:51 PM
Meh, boring and unoriginal. 5/10, would not read again.

Creepy pastas aren't all that scary or entertaining anyways...
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SongofSwords is not online. SongofSwords
Joined: 10 Feb 2013
Total Posts: 40697
12 Jun 2014 06:08 AM
It's pretty good.
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bobthebutter is not online. bobthebutter
Joined: 08 Nov 2010
Total Posts: 3311
12 Jun 2014 06:22 AM
I like it.
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lou222 is not online. lou222
Joined: 04 Dec 2009
Total Posts: 6907
12 Jun 2014 09:33 AM
Entry 3: January 21st, 1871

Me and my team are now ready to fully investigate the mansion. We grabbed everything we could, from dry-plate cameras to test tubes(Please don't try to remember why. Lets just say, I didn't want them out there for the risk of them soaking into the ground). We walked into the creepy main hall and spread out through the 3 rooms om the first floor. I went into a room that seemed to be a private library. Books by the thousands lined the walls on neatly decorated, yet decomposing wood shelves. I grabbed a book from one of them. It was the book Frankenstein by Mary Shelly. My favorite book. I picked up another. This one was odd. It was called Of Occult Philosophy or Magic by a man named Heinrich Cornelius Agrippa. I had ever heard of this man so I asked Daniel, who was with me at the time, who he was. He said that he was a well-known Renaissance theologian. I put the book back. I didn't know Jeremiah was someone who would take part in reading such subjects. I was about to take another book when someone called for me and Daniel. We went to the room that seemed like a study. He showed me a hidden trapdoor underneath a silk carpet. Me and my documenter, Leonardo, volunteered to go in and check it out. The room seemed like and old child's room, fit with a small bed and toy box. Not any child, but a little girl of sorts. We looked in the toybox and we found 3 dolls, and nothing more. They weren't creepy, just unusual. They all looked of different race, but they wore the same worn, pink clothing as each other Another thing I must mention is the stench of that room. It reeked of rancid meat. We even had to get out before we passed out from the smell. We decided to end today's investigation there. We decided to continue first thing in the morning. But for now, it was dinner-time.
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lou222 is not online. lou222
Joined: 04 Dec 2009
Total Posts: 6907
12 Jun 2014 10:57 AM
feedback?
pls?
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lou222 is not online. lou222
Joined: 04 Dec 2009
Total Posts: 6907
12 Jun 2014 11:55 AM
qq
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GeekLord2 is not online. GeekLord2
Joined: 15 Aug 2010
Total Posts: 7687
12 Jun 2014 11:55 AM
"Jeremiah Cunningham"

is it a ninja

I have an iPad because I look at myself while playing it.
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Tubthumping is not online. Tubthumping
Joined: 08 Apr 2014
Total Posts: 967
12 Jun 2014 11:56 AM
@fleabe:

you sound like a newgrounds reviewer

"this game sucks!!! i'll never play it again!!! 3 stars out of five!!!"
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Negativize is not online. Negativize
Joined: 02 May 2011
Total Posts: 25068
12 Jun 2014 11:56 AM
it was so scary i give this a -1/10

I'm the Watermelon Warrior!
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Tubthumping is not online. Tubthumping
Joined: 08 Apr 2014
Total Posts: 967
12 Jun 2014 11:56 AM
@myself:

can't even spell the guy's name right

*@flebale
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Forestion is not online. Forestion
Joined: 09 Mar 2013
Total Posts: 15364
12 Jun 2014 11:57 AM
hm
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lou222 is not online. lou222
Joined: 04 Dec 2009
Total Posts: 6907
12 Jun 2014 12:58 PM
@Fore
whats that mean
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thig1234567891234567 is not online. thig1234567891234567
Joined: 04 Sep 2013
Total Posts: 6184
12 Jun 2014 01:02 PM
a gothic horror story with a lot of potential, but it needs a bit more detail and JESUS CHRIST PARAGRAPHS!!!!!

upload it somewhere once you've done these changes
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lou222 is not online. lou222
Joined: 04 Dec 2009
Total Posts: 6907
12 Jun 2014 01:08 PM
@thig
i planned to upload it to the creepypasta wiki after this is all done.
oh and thanks for ACTUALLY GIVING FEEDBACK.
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lou222 is not online. lou222
Joined: 04 Dec 2009
Total Posts: 6907
13 Jun 2014 08:28 PM
ill continue this later
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lou222 is not online. lou222
Joined: 04 Dec 2009
Total Posts: 6907
26 Jul 2014 07:10 PM
wow this is old
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