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Re: The Great Gatsby- Allayn/KekeSwag ft. Indiella/DancingQueen

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kekeswag is not online. kekeswag
Joined: 07 Dec 2011
Total Posts: 200
11 May 2014 07:53 PM

Chorus- Indiella
--------
The Great Gatsby, The Great Gatsby
All I want to do is pass life with only being me
Instead of trying to follow every new thing I see
Reaching out for the green light of hope, Mr. Gatsby

Verse 1- Allayn/Kekeswag
---------
Walls caving in, monsters creeping from out of the closet
Pitch black, no noise except for the leaking faucet
Look out the window people fighting and rats crawling
Sliding the window open, and start imagining me falling
Parent's logic making me want to slit my wrist
If you didn't have the money or time for me, why'd you have kids
Yell at me more and tell me about the life I need to live
Ill never be understood, my problems are "no bigs"
Anything I say isnt important, youre always right
Im just a dumb [A] teen who loves getting into fights
Who cant ever be positive, but negatives are in sight
They sent me in a dark cave without a [F]ing flash light
Telling me I can find my way out, all i gotta do is try
Now they're ranting and yelling saying "this is your life"
And I just bumped into a rock that felt like a knife
While im bleeding to death i hear them yelling "you better not cry"
All I get told is you're not trying, your good is never good enough
You gotta let your feelings out stop tryna always act tough
Well maybe if i had someone i could talk to my gaurd would be down
I wouldnt walk around, with nothing but a [F]ing frown
And ill feel better about myself and feel as if my parents love me
Instead of talking to me down and always being above me
Try and talk about my day or even just hug me
Maybe thats why my attitude is always so ugly
But hey, who cares now, they already gave up
Live on my own and prove to them that my life is worth a [F]
Trying to be better but im slipping up on luck
Going nuts, going to school proving im not what they say
Wish i could bang like Kurt all the pain away

Chorus- Indiella
--------
The Great Gatsby, The Great Gatsby
All I want to do is pass life with only being me
Instead of trying to follow every new thing I see
Reaching out for the green light of hope, Mr. Gatsby

Verse 2- Allayn/KekeSwag
---------
Rainy days are best, only time I go outside
The rain covers up my eyes so its a safe place to cry
Hookah smells and late nights are covered up by lies
At this point the rest of my life will be flipping burgers and fries
"Give me a paper and a pen
So I can write about my life of sin"
Hopeless life trends but soon we'll all give in
Petty back stabs and lies from people we call friends
Skipping rope, the world is double dutch
Until we are paid secrets and threatened to hush
But it leaves our mouths like the newly chewed piece of gum
Piecing pieces to the gun until the peace runs
And brainwashed to think that this stuff is fun
But when the trust is done
You used the hurt and pain and transferred it to your lungs
Full of coverups hiding society with make up
Doesnt matter what time you went to bed, at 6 am wake up
And memorize this false education
We will give you the same test even though you are all different, false administration
False dedication, we all want different futures
The school treats us the same so we sit in front of computers
And have the life we wished we lived
No responsibility to fit in

Verse 3-Indiella
---------
Myself is the only real thing I can be
I control my movements, sailing life like a see
Sailing life with no worries I overcome all the waves
Dark past make thunderstorms while real friends make brighter days
Well what can I say? move all the pain away
We will no longer be afraid our hearts will fill with being brave

Chorus- Indiella
--------
The Great Gatsby, The Great Gatsby
All I want to do is pass life with only being me
Instead of trying to follow every new thing I see
Reaching out for the green light of hope, Mr. Gatsby
{2x}
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ChanelG is not online. ChanelG
Joined: 12 Apr 2013
Total Posts: 582
11 May 2014 08:01 PM
10/10 ^o^
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ninjaturtles is not online. ninjaturtles
Joined: 14 Mar 2009
Total Posts: 1062
11 May 2014 08:12 PM
Always with the nice metaphors.
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Indiella is not online. Indiella
Joined: 15 Jul 2011
Total Posts: 2603
12 May 2014 09:40 AM
Ikr, keke's great with the metaphors.
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spyjosiah4 is not online. spyjosiah4
Joined: 23 May 2011
Total Posts: 39
17 May 2014 08:29 PM
Gs/GJ C;
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GARYMAN189 is not online. GARYMAN189
Joined: 03 Mar 2014
Total Posts: 6745
17 May 2014 08:31 PM
10/10 amazing flow and lyrics
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KieraAllayn is not online. KieraAllayn
Joined: 07 Dec 2011
Total Posts: 523
18 May 2014 08:53 AM
Thanks
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ITSONICTHEHEDGEHOGXX is not online. ITSONICTHEHEDGEHOGXX
Joined: 16 Sep 2010
Total Posts: 4606
18 May 2014 09:04 AM
>10/10 amazing flow and lyrics

This needs to be addressed. Do half you know what flow is? You can't judge a flow if you can't hear it. What are you giving yourself props because of how you flowed it?
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OverloadUndead is not online. OverloadUndead
Joined: 10 Feb 2014
Total Posts: 525
18 May 2014 09:52 AM
Lmfao
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Indiella is not online. Indiella
Joined: 15 Jul 2011
Total Posts: 2603
18 May 2014 11:42 AM
> This needs to be addressed. Do half you know what flow is? You can't judge a flow if you can't hear it. What are you giving yourself props because of how you flowed it?

You make up the rhythm and flow in your head, so that's why it seems good to him.
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ITSONICTHEHEDGEHOGXX is not online. ITSONICTHEHEDGEHOGXX
Joined: 16 Sep 2010
Total Posts: 4606
18 May 2014 12:50 PM
So like i said, he's literally giving props to himself.
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DrillBoyKOKO is not online. DrillBoyKOKO
Joined: 26 Dec 2013
Total Posts: 1972
18 May 2014 01:53 PM
The Great Gatsby Rerelease:
Sparta School - The Great Gatsby (Calvin Jervis Edit)
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ninjaturtles is not online. ninjaturtles
Joined: 14 Mar 2009
Total Posts: 1062
18 May 2014 02:03 PM
I can't believe DrillBoy actually makes all of this up and consistently uses the same names at times.
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GARYMAN189 is not online. GARYMAN189
Joined: 03 Mar 2014
Total Posts: 6745
18 May 2014 07:45 PM
I'm better than Tupac but not better than Wayne
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shonyshon is not online. shonyshon
Joined: 23 Feb 2008
Total Posts: 8192
18 May 2014 07:48 PM
keke i heard you bad irl tryna fwm or nah
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gogobot22 is not online. gogobot22
Joined: 03 May 2009
Total Posts: 6212
18 May 2014 08:03 PM
Didn't really feel like commenting every line.

4/10
The great gatsby thing is pretty much a gimmick.
Rhymes fairly well, but sometimes, not so much.
Grammatical errors.
Some lines are dumb teenager whinings.




OT's Official Nice Guy (#CF)
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KieraAllayn is not online. KieraAllayn
Joined: 07 Dec 2011
Total Posts: 523
20 May 2014 06:53 PM
Can you show me the errors so I can improve?
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Icyclez is not online. Icyclez
Joined: 01 Mar 2013
Total Posts: 3201
21 May 2014 04:38 PM
10/10

Indiella's verse is great but Allayn's just... WOW.

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KingRoseXI is not online. KingRoseXI
Joined: 03 Aug 2010
Total Posts: 2872
21 May 2014 06:46 PM
10/10
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KieraAllayn is not online. KieraAllayn
Joined: 07 Dec 2011
Total Posts: 523
22 May 2014 08:50 PM
Thanks guys.
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PokemonGuy365 is not online. PokemonGuy365
Joined: 21 Dec 2010
Total Posts: 13482
22 May 2014 08:59 PM
Wth the first Verse isn't even relative to great gatsby
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KieraAllayn is not online. KieraAllayn
Joined: 07 Dec 2011
Total Posts: 523
29 May 2014 07:23 PM
None of them are... The Great Gatsby theme is acting as a metaphor through the chorus.. Why would I write a whole song on Gatsby.
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altar30 is not online. altar30
Joined: 26 Nov 2010
Total Posts: 1925
29 May 2014 07:44 PM
9/10, this was dope!
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ITSONICTHEHEDGEHOGXX is not online. ITSONICTHEHEDGEHOGXX
Joined: 16 Sep 2010
Total Posts: 4606
29 May 2014 07:52 PM
Y u dissin' Wifey, poke?
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NeighborlyShooter is not online. NeighborlyShooter
Joined: 18 May 2010
Total Posts: 40
21 Jun 2014 09:04 AM
sweg gg 10/10
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