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Re: The Announcement, The Hat, and The Coin

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PhotographerGirl is not online. PhotographerGirl
Joined: 03 Sep 2010
Total Posts: 1822
10 May 2014 09:05 AM
The Announcement, The Hat, and The Coin

It was a quiet day in Winchester, NV, and Derkus, the dashing young speech writer, was sitting on his front porch, waiting for his telepathic girlfriend to come home from work. Suddenly, a hat blows through. It's a beautiful hat, with a wide brim. It looks like something his girlfriend would wear. He wonders idley about it, and desides to go after it. It only landed a short distance away, after all...On his neighbor's roof. "It'll be for the girl," he thought. He got off the small rocker and went over to the side of his own house. Sunlight glimmered on the trash can, drawing his attention. He stood on it, and pushed up to the lowest part of the roof. Derkus' feet scrabbled helplessly on the tiles. One chipped off. How was he going to get to the other side? He mentally mapped out a way across, if he could just build a bridge...He climbed back down and gathered up many misc. supplies. He built the bridge quickly and efficiently. However, his neighbor became disturbed by all the racket! "Who are you, and what are you doing?!", he exclaimed.
Derkus had no choice. He had to tell the man his dillema. "Sir...", he started shakily, "I saw a wide-brimmed hat blow by, you see... It was very beautiful. I was going to search for the owner. However, it landed right on top of your roof! So, I built this bridge from my girlfriend's house to yours. I was about to cross it."
"My boy, my boy!", the man said, a hardy laugh he gave. "Why didn't you just come ask me? I have a ladder; and, if you won't be offended by my saying, that isn't a very sturdy bridge you've got there, my boy. Look!"
And with that, the man had thrown a smooth stone with one powerful twist of the arm up at the bridge. It wasn't even going that fast, and the bridge fell. "I'll clean that up," the man muttered. He went over to his shed and got a grabber and a ladder. They set it up together lovingly. It took them a while to get the ladder just right, and, being a heavy ladder, it was a team effort. Their were a few awkward moments when their faces got really close...Derkus felt something. Something he'd never felt before in his whole 26 years of living. It was...aloofity. He felt so aloof. So aloof, he could-kill somebody. Suddenly, in the final awkward moment before they'd be ready to climb, Derkus looked into the man's eyes. "Beautiful," he whispered. The man, quite taken aback, said, "Derkus, this is your mission. It's best that you get the hat yourself." Derkus nodded, and climbed the ladder. A single coin fell from his fanny pack as he clambered. The man caught it. "Dashing..." he murmered as he watched Derkus climb.
Derkus made it to the top of the ladder. He was so proud of himself. He scrambled to the top of the roof where the hat lay. He snatched it up with wild abandon. The last the man saw of Derkus' dashing face was the wild gleam in his eyes as he launched himself and the hat off the roof, into the grassy alley between their two homes. He was sprawled out at an awkward angle. "No!" the man cried. He ran over and shook Derkus. He slipped the coin into the body's mouth. "For your passage of the river," he murmered. He ran into the house and grabbed the phone, dialing 9-1-1 as he returned to the body. But as soon as he got to the alley, he saw a foot disappear around the corner. "Derkus!" he called out, giving chase and throwing the phone to the ground. Derkus was sprinting away across the streets, the man giving chase. "Please, Derkus! I need you!" Derkus turned back briefly. His face looked different. Contorted. Not dashing. He took an Exacto from his pocket and threw it. It pierced the man straight in his heart. Derkus adjusted the hat on his head and, with the coin in his mouth, jumped onto his girlfriend's car which had just pulled into the driveway. She stared at him, confused. He stabbed the Exacto at her windowshield. It shattered. He ran across the street again and into the forest, all the way to the county creek. He jumped in and drowned himself.
Derkus gave the man the coin.
He made an announcent.
"Derkus had arrived! Derkus! Derkus! DERKUS! DERKUS! DEEERRRKUUUSSSS!!!!!"
And Derkus spent eternity in Tartarus.
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1337cheesepieman is not online. 1337cheesepieman
Joined: 10 Sep 2012
Total Posts: 5495
10 May 2014 09:06 AM
tl:dr
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PhotographerGirl is not online. PhotographerGirl
Joined: 03 Sep 2010
Total Posts: 1822
10 May 2014 09:09 AM
tl;dr: derkus the writer finds a hat, finds his true calling and lives in tartarus.
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