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| 09 May 2014 07:38 PM |
Here`s what i have:
Chapter 1
We stood still, not wanting to move even though we knew we had to. The moon was slowly rising until it was just visible above the tall figures of the pine trees, other than the on and off wind all was silent. Soon the moon would be rising well above the pines and even with the protection of the trees we could still be easily spotted. I was beginning to get drowsy, I couldn`t keep going for much longer.
All i wanted to do was go home and bury my face in a pillow, but i knew i didnt have a home to return to anymore. "Come on! Get a move on! They`ll spot us if we don`t get moving!" Andy shouted, snapping me out of my day dream. I knew he was right. I started to walk again and we continued to navigate our way through the pines. I was getting stabbed by the branches and was about to cry.
Before i got a chance to shed a tear, there was a rustling behnd me. I jumped a bit but decided it was just Andy and one of his pranks and said "Ha ha, very funny Andy. Now come on, we have no time for this." My comment wasn`t responded to with, "Sarah you got to admit i got you!" but instead with a deep, raspy growl. Now i was really scared!
I began to run, never looking back as i heard the creature tailing me. "Andy! Andy! Where are you!?" i yelled. I didn`t even remember that Andy and i were being hunted and that we had to be quiet at all times, for the fear of being caught. With Andy nowhere in sight i began to get desperate. I started shouting "Help! Somebody, anybody! Please help me!" over and over.
I managed to scramble up an old pine, with the creature clawing at my heels. When i was somewhat safely perched in the tree i was able to get a good look at my beastly pursuer, it was a large, silver furred, male wolf. I figuered he was a lone wolf, for there were no large dens around this area. A few small ones yes, but no packs. I decided to wait out my foe.
The next morning the wolf was gone and i saw a tower of smoke coming from not too far away. I assumed it was Andy, and i went to check it out. Little did i know i was right and wrong at the same time........
(To be continued........)
Post what you thpught of my story i got bored and wrote please!!! also post if you want to hear more!!! :D |
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| 09 May 2014 07:41 PM |
It's nice. I like how you built suspense.
ᴏʜ ᴄᴏʀɴᴇʟɪᴜs, ʏᴏᴜʀ ʟɪᴇs ᴅᴏ ɴᴏᴛ ғᴏᴏʟ ᴍᴇ. |
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Dzuheron
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Matchcass
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| Joined: 28 Mar 2013 |
| Total Posts: 261 |
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| 09 May 2014 07:43 PM |
| I ate the story. It was bitter. Needs salt. |
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| 09 May 2014 07:44 PM |
| lol no!!! why did you eat my story!!! lol XD |
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GeekLord2
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| Joined: 15 Aug 2010 |
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Matchcass
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| Joined: 28 Mar 2013 |
| Total Posts: 261 |
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| 09 May 2014 07:45 PM |
| Just add some salt, and a bit of cheese. Then it's a story worth writing a fan fiction about. |
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| 09 May 2014 07:45 PM |
| Bahahaha lol still no, nice try though!!! |
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| 09 May 2014 07:46 PM |
| And what do you mean by "salt and cheese"? |
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tezakat
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| Joined: 13 Sep 2013 |
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| 09 May 2014 07:46 PM |
| more of the story, please? |
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| 09 May 2014 07:47 PM |
y u no accept my compliment
ᴏʜ ᴄᴏʀɴᴇʟɪᴜs, ʏᴏᴜʀ ʟɪᴇs ᴅᴏ ɴᴏᴛ ғᴏᴏʟ ᴍᴇ. |
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| 09 May 2014 07:47 PM |
| yeah sure, i can do that. anyone else want more of the story??? :D |
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| 09 May 2014 07:48 PM |
| and thank you kati! i appreaciate the compliment |
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drpece231
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| Joined: 04 Aug 2011 |
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| 09 May 2014 07:49 PM |
You're welcome
ᴏʜ ᴄᴏʀɴᴇʟɪᴜs, ʏᴏᴜʀ ʟɪᴇs ᴅᴏ ɴᴏᴛ ғᴏᴏʟ ᴍᴇ. |
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conners2
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| Joined: 25 Aug 2007 |
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| 09 May 2014 07:49 PM |
i was preparing myself to come face to face with an awfully written mass of words but THIS
this is nothing like what i had expected
it is much worse |
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Matchcass
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| Joined: 28 Mar 2013 |
| Total Posts: 261 |
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| 09 May 2014 07:49 PM |
| So here is what you should do. Get various meats and cheeses. Put them on your computer monitor. Then you're good. |
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conners2
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| Joined: 25 Aug 2007 |
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| 09 May 2014 07:50 PM |
"So here is what you should do. Get various meats and cheeses. Put them on your computer monitor. Then you're good."
are you implying op does not already do this? it is common knowledge. do not be ignorant. always place meats and cheeses on your computer monitor |
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| 09 May 2014 07:50 PM |
| hey theres more to the story, you guys still have no idea of what the backgrounds are to Andy and Sarah, or who/what and why they are being hunted! |
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conners2
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| Joined: 25 Aug 2007 |
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| 09 May 2014 07:50 PM |
"hey theres more to the story, you guys still have no idea of what the backgrounds are to Andy and Sarah, or who/what and why they are being hunted!"
i don't want to know |
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| 09 May 2014 07:51 PM |
| I really love the last sentence "Little did I know I was right and wrong at the same time....", it really builds up a suspense and makes the reader think "Did Andy die??" |
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| 09 May 2014 07:51 PM |
| and my dad wont let me put meat and cheese on the computer moniter lol...... |
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XTGNecro
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| Joined: 26 Oct 2008 |
| Total Posts: 18514 |
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| 09 May 2014 07:51 PM |
| I was bored in class so I tried to write a Pacific Rim/Fallout 3 crossover but failed |
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Matchcass
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| Joined: 28 Mar 2013 |
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| 09 May 2014 07:51 PM |
| Op does not do this. It's too mainstream. |
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ServerGuy
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