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Re: I was bored so i was writing a story :D

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videogamelover102 is not online. videogamelover102
Joined: 13 Jan 2014
Total Posts: 101
09 May 2014 07:38 PM
Here`s what i have:

Chapter 1

We stood still, not wanting to move even though we knew we had to. The moon was slowly rising until it was just visible above the tall figures of the pine trees, other than the on and off wind all was silent. Soon the moon would be rising well above the pines and even with the protection of the trees we could still be easily spotted. I was beginning to get drowsy, I couldn`t keep going for much longer.

All i wanted to do was go home and bury my face in a pillow, but i knew i didnt have a home to return to anymore. "Come on! Get a move on! They`ll spot us if we don`t get moving!" Andy shouted, snapping me out of my day dream. I knew he was right. I started to walk again and we continued to navigate our way through the pines. I was getting stabbed by the branches and was about to cry.

Before i got a chance to shed a tear, there was a rustling behnd me. I jumped a bit but decided it was just Andy and one of his pranks and said "Ha ha, very funny Andy. Now come on, we have no time for this." My comment wasn`t responded to with, "Sarah you got to admit i got you!" but instead with a deep, raspy growl. Now i was really scared!

I began to run, never looking back as i heard the creature tailing me. "Andy! Andy! Where are you!?" i yelled. I didn`t even remember that Andy and i were being hunted and that we had to be quiet at all times, for the fear of being caught. With Andy nowhere in sight i began to get desperate. I started shouting "Help! Somebody, anybody! Please help me!" over and over.

I managed to scramble up an old pine, with the creature clawing at my heels. When i was somewhat safely perched in the tree i was able to get a good look at my beastly pursuer, it was a large, silver furred, male wolf. I figuered he was a lone wolf, for there were no large dens around this area. A few small ones yes, but no packs. I decided to wait out my foe.

The next morning the wolf was gone and i saw a tower of smoke coming from not too far away. I assumed it was Andy, and i went to check it out. Little did i know i was right and wrong at the same time........

(To be continued........)

Post what you thpught of my story i got bored and wrote please!!! also post if you want to hear more!!! :D
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katirulesearth is not online. katirulesearth
Joined: 11 Jul 2011
Total Posts: 8017
09 May 2014 07:41 PM
It's nice. I like how you built suspense.

ᴏʜ ᴄᴏʀɴᴇʟɪᴜs, ʏᴏᴜʀ ʟɪᴇs ᴅᴏ ɴᴏᴛ ғᴏᴏʟ ᴍᴇ.
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Dzuheron is not online. Dzuheron
Joined: 03 Jan 2013
Total Posts: 30740
09 May 2014 07:41 PM
tl;dr
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Matchcass is not online. Matchcass
Joined: 28 Mar 2013
Total Posts: 261
09 May 2014 07:43 PM
I ate the story. It was bitter. Needs salt.
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videogamelover102 is not online. videogamelover102
Joined: 13 Jan 2014
Total Posts: 101
09 May 2014 07:44 PM
lol no!!! why did you eat my story!!! lol XD
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GeekLord2 is not online. GeekLord2
Joined: 15 Aug 2010
Total Posts: 7687
09 May 2014 07:44 PM
andy died the end
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Matchcass is not online. Matchcass
Joined: 28 Mar 2013
Total Posts: 261
09 May 2014 07:45 PM
Just add some salt, and a bit of cheese. Then it's a story worth writing a fan fiction about.
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videogamelover102 is not online. videogamelover102
Joined: 13 Jan 2014
Total Posts: 101
09 May 2014 07:45 PM
Bahahaha lol still no, nice try though!!!
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videogamelover102 is not online. videogamelover102
Joined: 13 Jan 2014
Total Posts: 101
09 May 2014 07:46 PM
And what do you mean by "salt and cheese"?
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tezakat is not online. tezakat
Joined: 13 Sep 2013
Total Posts: 1301
09 May 2014 07:46 PM
more of the story, please?
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katirulesearth is not online. katirulesearth
Joined: 11 Jul 2011
Total Posts: 8017
09 May 2014 07:47 PM
y u no accept my compliment

ᴏʜ ᴄᴏʀɴᴇʟɪᴜs, ʏᴏᴜʀ ʟɪᴇs ᴅᴏ ɴᴏᴛ ғᴏᴏʟ ᴍᴇ.
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videogamelover102 is not online. videogamelover102
Joined: 13 Jan 2014
Total Posts: 101
09 May 2014 07:47 PM
yeah sure, i can do that. anyone else want more of the story??? :D
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videogamelover102 is not online. videogamelover102
Joined: 13 Jan 2014
Total Posts: 101
09 May 2014 07:48 PM
and thank you kati! i appreaciate the compliment
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drpece231 is not online. drpece231
Joined: 04 Aug 2011
Total Posts: 36788
09 May 2014 07:48 PM
0/10 no spooki skeletons
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katirulesearth is not online. katirulesearth
Joined: 11 Jul 2011
Total Posts: 8017
09 May 2014 07:49 PM
You're welcome

ᴏʜ ᴄᴏʀɴᴇʟɪᴜs, ʏᴏᴜʀ ʟɪᴇs ᴅᴏ ɴᴏᴛ ғᴏᴏʟ ᴍᴇ.
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conners2 is not online. conners2
Joined: 25 Aug 2007
Total Posts: 5722
09 May 2014 07:49 PM
i was preparing myself to come face to face with an awfully written mass of words but THIS

this is nothing like what i had expected

it is much worse
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Matchcass is not online. Matchcass
Joined: 28 Mar 2013
Total Posts: 261
09 May 2014 07:49 PM
So here is what you should do. Get various meats and cheeses. Put them on your computer monitor. Then you're good.
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conners2 is not online. conners2
Joined: 25 Aug 2007
Total Posts: 5722
09 May 2014 07:50 PM
"So here is what you should do. Get various meats and cheeses. Put them on your computer monitor. Then you're good."

are you implying op does not already do this? it is common knowledge. do not be ignorant. always place meats and cheeses on your computer monitor
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videogamelover102 is not online. videogamelover102
Joined: 13 Jan 2014
Total Posts: 101
09 May 2014 07:50 PM
hey theres more to the story, you guys still have no idea of what the backgrounds are to Andy and Sarah, or who/what and why they are being hunted!
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conners2 is not online. conners2
Joined: 25 Aug 2007
Total Posts: 5722
09 May 2014 07:50 PM
"hey theres more to the story, you guys still have no idea of what the backgrounds are to Andy and Sarah, or who/what and why they are being hunted!"

i don't want to know
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CrazyCharmanderfan is not online. CrazyCharmanderfan
Joined: 15 Mar 2011
Total Posts: 17146
09 May 2014 07:51 PM
I really love the last sentence "Little did I know I was right and wrong at the same time....", it really builds up a suspense and makes the reader think "Did Andy die??"
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videogamelover102 is not online. videogamelover102
Joined: 13 Jan 2014
Total Posts: 101
09 May 2014 07:51 PM
and my dad wont let me put meat and cheese on the computer moniter lol......
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XTGNecro is not online. XTGNecro
Joined: 26 Oct 2008
Total Posts: 18514
09 May 2014 07:51 PM
I was bored in class so I tried to write a Pacific Rim/Fallout 3 crossover but failed
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Matchcass is not online. Matchcass
Joined: 28 Mar 2013
Total Posts: 261
09 May 2014 07:51 PM
Op does not do this. It's too mainstream.
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ServerGuy is not online. ServerGuy
Joined: 21 Sep 2011
Total Posts: 283
09 May 2014 07:52 PM
tl;dr
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