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Re: Bloody X Chapter 2

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dmaster999 is not online. dmaster999
Joined: 26 Jun 2011
Total Posts: 100
06 May 2014 04:42 PM
Chapter 2 is now out. Enjoy and give me feedback for me to improve on in my future chapters. Note: I will not change them in this chapter, unless I forgot to mention a tiny detail.

The group gathered up in the central grounds of the fort. At the head of them was Zealots, trying to put together a plan. “We need to wait for the scouts to get back. Then we will know if we are legitimately trapped.” He said to them, trying to calm down the crowd of seasoned officers, who had suddenly turned into whining fools. Dmaster and Xflame were also trying to help everyone calm down. “Who knows that this person will actually kill us?” Gc stated, “He or she could just be planning to keep us trapped and taking the legion for his or herself.”
“You think that a person would just keep us in here?” Alpha retorted, “Obviously whoever this is doesn’t seem to be the nicest of fellows. He or she seems to have murdered a squadron of soldiers, after all.”
By then, the scouts had returned and reported their findings to Zealots. “It seems that we have found a way out of here. There is a set of ladders over by the supplies area. They should be long enough when combined to escape this hellhole.” Zealots stated, his hopes up. “Our murderer isn’t as thorough as we thought.”
He sent Shadow and Gc to grab the ladders and rendezvous at the Northern gate with them so they could escape and warn the Legion.
Alpha was still a bit nervous. “Don’t you think that this is too convenient? I mean, do you really think that this person would leave such a gaping escape like th-“
Realization dawned on them all. They sprinted back towards the supplies area, but were too late. The entire building suddenly exploded, sending stone, blazing wood, and bits of armor everywhere. Along with that landed two scorched corpses of Shadow and Gc, too disfigured to even tell which was which. They watched in horror how their only means of escape was just obliterated before them. “We need to move before this person strikes again. We are too close to be safe yet,” Dmaster stated.
He began walking back to their general area where they had set up camp. When they returned, they found more soldiers at their camp. They were mostly the elite veterans, including XelorTIMES, MagicPwny, Buck59, 111Piper111, Dadric18, Willkid, Viatos, Cojach33, Friztzy, and Dain243. They had apparently been sent by Legatus AwsomeAndrewD in case the first group needed backup.
“How did you all get inside?” Dmaster asked, bewildered.
“We noticed the explosion on our approach and instantly guessed that things were amiss. We used multiple scaling ladders attached to each other to get up, believing that the gate would be out of use.” Dain said.
“Thank the stars that you’ve come. All of the normal defenders are dead and so are Gc and Shadow.” Zealots said, his eyes clouding with regret.
“We also found this in the camp. We didn’t really understand it, because we have not been briefed, but it does not seem good.” Xelor stated.
The note read, “Now you know that this is not a game. I am not going to just let you all survive this. I will eat your ranks up from the inside out, including those that just joined you all. You’ll notice that those ladders shall be gone too, so you are all trapped. Best of luck to those who survive the longest.”
Zealots was the first to notice what it truly said. “Do you know what this means?!” He said, eyes wide open, “The murderer is one of us…”


Later that night, Ultra realized that he could not sleep, and decided to go for a walk alone. Being forever cautious, he grabbed his sword and sheathe to bring with him. He made it to the North gate, still vigilant of any danger that may be nearby. He sighed deeply. “This may not end well for me, but at least I know that I will die loyal, unlike the traitor who attempts to destroy us.”
He did not notice when two others joined him on the wall until they spoke. “I am guessing that neither of you could sleep either?” One of them spoke.
“Aye,” Said the other.
Ultra already had his hand at his sword. “Why are you two here?”

“Do you not trust us? Both of us came unarmed, as you can see.” One retorted.
“Striking us down would just make others believe in you being the murderer. Distrust is not the answer here.” The other said.
“I suppose you are right,” Ultra said, relaxing slightly. That was when he noticed an odd smell in the air, and suddenly fell unconscious due to breathing in noxious fumes.
“He fell for that too easy, it seems.”
“Aye, expected him to be more vigilant than that.”
“Shall we proceed with the plan?”
“We shall.”
By the next day, everyone woke up, seeing Ultra hanging from the Eagle placed at the central building, his lifeless eyes staring at his still living comrades, seemingly wondering which would join him next.
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dmaster999 is not online. dmaster999
Joined: 26 Jun 2011
Total Posts: 100
06 May 2014 04:43 PM
Link to previous chapter:
http://www.roblox.com/Forum/ShowPost.aspx?PostID=132427672
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HopeOfRome is not online. HopeOfRome
Joined: 13 May 2012
Total Posts: 1731
06 May 2014 04:44 PM
fun fact:

the word "hope" was said once during this story

tldr
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dmaster999 is not online. dmaster999
Joined: 26 Jun 2011
Total Posts: 100
06 May 2014 04:47 PM
Maybe because there is no hope.
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FlaviusAetitus is not online. FlaviusAetitus
Joined: 28 Jun 2013
Total Posts: 490
06 May 2014 05:06 PM
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO who will live? This is soooooo awesome!!!!
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dmaster999 is not online. dmaster999
Joined: 26 Jun 2011
Total Posts: 100
06 May 2014 05:12 PM
Thank you. I will probably have Chapter 3 done by Friday, as I have been working on it before I released Chapter 2.
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Spectrox15 is not online. Spectrox15
Joined: 06 Jan 2013
Total Posts: 304
06 May 2014 05:33 PM
Am wondering who could be the murderer...
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Laserwolf34 is not online. Laserwolf34
Joined: 20 Nov 2010
Total Posts: 10
06 May 2014 05:38 PM
So far it's pretty good. Dmaster. Can't wait to see who the murderer is and who will lose their life next. Keep up the good work.
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dmaster999 is not online. dmaster999
Joined: 26 Jun 2011
Total Posts: 100
06 May 2014 05:38 PM
Maybe it's Zealots, or Dain, or me, or Xflame, or Piper, or Alpha, or BP, or Hunter, or Long, or Xelor, or Magic (He's a quiet person, so far)
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dmaster999 is not online. dmaster999
Joined: 26 Jun 2011
Total Posts: 100
06 May 2014 05:39 PM
I am waiting for someone to notice an important detail.
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smorg30 is not online. smorg30
Joined: 04 Oct 2011
Total Posts: 4520
06 May 2014 05:40 PM
The killer is George Washington.
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LordDain is not online. LordDain
Joined: 09 Jul 2008
Total Posts: 896
06 May 2014 05:41 PM
Well, if you are using the murder(s) vernaculars, I know who one of them is.
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SuspectedTheory is not online. SuspectedTheory
Joined: 31 Oct 2013
Total Posts: 1872
06 May 2014 05:47 PM
nice
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dmaster999 is not online. dmaster999
Joined: 26 Jun 2011
Total Posts: 100
06 May 2014 05:49 PM
Dain got it.
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Hunter6252 is not online. Hunter6252
Joined: 05 Jan 2011
Total Posts: 78
06 May 2014 05:49 PM
Here's the main question. Long and I aren't there. <3
I know the who it is, wont tell tho.
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dmaster999 is not online. dmaster999
Joined: 26 Jun 2011
Total Posts: 100
06 May 2014 05:55 PM
Dain found the important detail.
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SuspectedTheory is not online. SuspectedTheory
Joined: 31 Oct 2013
Total Posts: 1872
06 May 2014 05:57 PM
Oh I get it
i know who one is
so hard not to spoil
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dmaster999 is not online. dmaster999
Joined: 26 Jun 2011
Total Posts: 100
06 May 2014 05:58 PM
If you think you know who it is, PM me your thoughts.
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LordDain is not online. LordDain
Joined: 09 Jul 2008
Total Posts: 896
06 May 2014 06:11 PM
Don't know who the other one is though.
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dmaster999 is not online. dmaster999
Joined: 26 Jun 2011
Total Posts: 100
06 May 2014 06:21 PM
I didn't say that one of those people was the murderer, if that was what you were implying by detail. I meant in the story itself.
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dmaster999 is not online. dmaster999
Joined: 26 Jun 2011
Total Posts: 100
06 May 2014 06:22 PM
PM me who you think it is, Dain.
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AchillesFromGreece is not online. AchillesFromGreece
Joined: 16 Nov 2010
Total Posts: 319
06 May 2014 07:05 PM
Hi.
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MagicPwny is not online. MagicPwny
Joined: 30 May 2011
Total Posts: 1142
06 May 2014 07:56 PM
OBVIOUSLY magicpwny lives.
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ninjaco99 is not online. ninjaco99
Joined: 20 Aug 2010
Total Posts: 174
06 May 2014 08:09 PM
couldn't they just break down the wall or use the ladders the extra guys put up to escape?
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dmaster999 is not online. dmaster999
Joined: 26 Jun 2011
Total Posts: 100
07 May 2014 08:04 PM
The extra guy's ladders are gone and there is no equipment to knock down a 10 meter thick, 100 meter high wall.
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