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Re: Torivor News Article #84816sjey65483gbxz6

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SongofSwords is not online. SongofSwords
Joined: 10 Feb 2013
Total Posts: 40697
30 Apr 2014 05:34 PM
Torivor News: The only news that'll keep you updated on King Song's terrible reign!

Recently, King Song has passed a new law. This law deals with the handling of salmon thieves, who have, in the past, been very successful at pickpocketing the richer torivors who have salmon. Instead of leaving the retrieval of the salmon up to the salmon's original owners, the Torivorian Police Force (TPF) is now responsible for regaining the stolen salmon and beating the tapeworms out of the thieves.

"I completely oppose this law!" Torivor Thief Thug #736vwsy453 claims. "With it, the weak idiots who I steal from even though they earned the salmon fairly are able to get what I illegally stole back!"

"It's totally necessary!" Says Rich Torivor Victim #64255bd. "Now we can punish the villains even better than we could before! Instead of forcing people like me who are total shrimps and can't fight at all to beat the tapeworms out of these guys, trained professionals can come in and do it for me!"

The new law passed has been created in response to a recent lawsuit involving Torivorian Victim Corp. (TVC) and the Torivor Thief Inc. (TTI). In this lawsuit, TVC is charging TTI for salmon theft, tapewormian assault, and loitering. TTI claims that they are completely uninvolved in any of those 3 actions and that their company's name only matches the name of an evil corporation in an ironic way.
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theknightofblood is not online. theknightofblood
Joined: 15 Aug 2012
Total Posts: 9990
30 Apr 2014 05:35 PM
good job for wasting your time song

~ rip in peace forever tkot, add 15k to postcount ~
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SongofSwords is not online. SongofSwords
Joined: 10 Feb 2013
Total Posts: 40697
30 Apr 2014 05:35 PM
"good job for wasting your time song"

I knew I should have posted a tl;dr!
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deltav is not online. deltav
Joined: 01 Jan 2008
Total Posts: 31893
30 Apr 2014 05:35 PM
"tapewormian assault"
what is this
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SongofSwords is not online. SongofSwords
Joined: 10 Feb 2013
Total Posts: 40697
30 Apr 2014 05:37 PM
"what is this"

Tapewormian assault is much like the Beyond of Lyrian's assault, however it differs in the sense that you use tapeworms to attack your victim.
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deltav is not online. deltav
Joined: 01 Jan 2008
Total Posts: 31893
30 Apr 2014 05:37 PM
"Beyond of Lyrian's assault"
i still dont
also tapeworms are kind of ineffective tbh
i mean
it takes a while
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SongofSwords is not online. SongofSwords
Joined: 10 Feb 2013
Total Posts: 40697
30 Apr 2014 05:38 PM
"i still dont
also tapeworms are kind of ineffective tbh
i mean
it takes a while"

Tapeworms are deadly weapons in the Torivorian Realm.
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SongofSwords is not online. SongofSwords
Joined: 10 Feb 2013
Total Posts: 40697
30 Apr 2014 05:41 PM
UPDATE: A group of torivors dressed in white are marching around King Song's lawn, holding up signs that say, "DOWN WITH THE NEW LAW!!!"
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SongofSwords is not online. SongofSwords
Joined: 10 Feb 2013
Total Posts: 40697
30 Apr 2014 05:42 PM
UPDATE #2: King Song has projected the words "GET THE SALMON AWAY FROM YOU OR I WILL SEND YOU TO THE GALLOWS!!!!" in the sky by using Torivorian.
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SongofSwords is not online. SongofSwords
Joined: 10 Feb 2013
Total Posts: 40697
30 Apr 2014 05:43 PM
UPDATE #3: We misquote King Song! "GET THE SALMON AWAY FROM ME"
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SongofSwords is not online. SongofSwords
Joined: 10 Feb 2013
Total Posts: 40697
30 Apr 2014 05:45 PM
UPDATE #4: The protestors refused to leave and have started throwing bottles of Tapewormian Essence at King Song's castle.
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SongofSwords is not online. SongofSwords
Joined: 10 Feb 2013
Total Posts: 40697
30 Apr 2014 05:47 PM
UPDATE #5: Song has used Torivorian to imprison the protesters!
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theknightofblood is not online. theknightofblood
Joined: 15 Aug 2012
Total Posts: 9990
30 Apr 2014 05:48 PM
STOP UPDATING RIGHT NOW

~ rip in peace forever tkot, add 15k to postcount ~
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SongofSwords is not online. SongofSwords
Joined: 10 Feb 2013
Total Posts: 40697
30 Apr 2014 05:48 PM
UPDATE #6: HAHA, TAKE THAT, THEKNIGHTOFBLOOD!!!
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SongofSwords is not online. SongofSwords
Joined: 10 Feb 2013
Total Posts: 40697
30 Apr 2014 05:50 PM
UPDATE #7: King Song has exited the Torivorian Castle, has drawn her sword, and is approaching the imprisoned protesters.
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Dzuheron is not online. Dzuheron
Joined: 03 Jan 2013
Total Posts: 30740
30 Apr 2014 05:52 PM
you have a lawn?

am I in your house?
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SongofSwords is not online. SongofSwords
Joined: 10 Feb 2013
Total Posts: 40697
30 Apr 2014 05:53 PM
Update #8: King Song has decapitated all of the protestors.
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SongofSwords is not online. SongofSwords
Joined: 10 Feb 2013
Total Posts: 40697
30 Apr 2014 05:53 PM
"you have a lawn?

am I in your house?"

Of course King Song has a lawn! King Song has everything and anything!
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Dzuheron is not online. Dzuheron
Joined: 03 Jan 2013
Total Posts: 30740
30 Apr 2014 05:53 PM
do I live in your house
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SongofSwords is not online. SongofSwords
Joined: 10 Feb 2013
Total Posts: 40697
30 Apr 2014 05:55 PM
"do I live in your house"

King Song lives in the Torivorian Castle, not the Torivorian House.

Had King Song been a President instead of a King, the answer would be yes, but instead it is no.
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SongofSwords is not online. SongofSwords
Joined: 10 Feb 2013
Total Posts: 40697
30 Apr 2014 05:58 PM
UPDATE #9: KING SONG IS ATTACKING US AND OUR CAMERAMEN!!! HELP!!! HELP!!!! SHE LIT ME ON FIRE!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH-
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Dzuheron is not online. Dzuheron
Joined: 03 Jan 2013
Total Posts: 30740
30 Apr 2014 05:59 PM
do I live near you in torivorian castle then
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SongofSwords is not online. SongofSwords
Joined: 10 Feb 2013
Total Posts: 40697
30 Apr 2014 06:00 PM
[ ERROR, ERROR, TRANSMIT ENDED. PLEASE TUNE IN TO ANOTHER TORIVORIAN CHANNEL ON YOUR TORIVOR TV. ]
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scattercannon is not online. scattercannon
Joined: 26 Jun 2013
Total Posts: 4721
30 Apr 2014 06:01 PM
inb4aparsalmonthied

[XenosArKade123: add 1.009k | IT'S NIKITA OR NEVER | L#D Spotter of OT]
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Dzuheron is not online. Dzuheron
Joined: 03 Jan 2013
Total Posts: 30740
30 Apr 2014 06:01 PM
torivors have a tv?
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