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Re: post your jokes here

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joshmeltn is not online. joshmeltn
Joined: 28 Aug 2009
Total Posts: 2378
27 Apr 2014 12:20 PM
whats the difference between a cat and a comma?

one has claws and the end of its paws and one is a pause at the end of a clause
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joshmeltn is not online. joshmeltn
Joined: 28 Aug 2009
Total Posts: 2378
27 Apr 2014 12:21 PM
b1
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TheElderScrollsVI is not online. TheElderScrollsVI
Joined: 01 Jul 2012
Total Posts: 6365
27 Apr 2014 12:21 PM
My wifi went for like five minutes. I go downstairs to talk to my family. They seem like nice people.
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joshmeltn is not online. joshmeltn
Joined: 28 Aug 2009
Total Posts: 2378
27 Apr 2014 12:21 PM
?




b2
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Tylergetrekt is not online. Tylergetrekt
Joined: 25 Apr 2014
Total Posts: 1221
27 Apr 2014 12:22 PM
What looks like a whale and is always angry?

EarthboundFTW.
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joshmeltn is not online. joshmeltn
Joined: 28 Aug 2009
Total Posts: 2378
27 Apr 2014 12:22 PM
idk what?



b3
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Kotawl is not online. Kotawl
Joined: 22 Jun 2013
Total Posts: 23595
27 Apr 2014 12:22 PM
basketball
shoes for specific sports
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TheElderScrollsVI is not online. TheElderScrollsVI
Joined: 01 Jul 2012
Total Posts: 6365
27 Apr 2014 12:23 PM
You really don't get my joke? >_<
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dvaderlopez3456 is not online. dvaderlopez3456
Joined: 08 Jan 2011
Total Posts: 2632
27 Apr 2014 12:23 PM
Here's my joke.




joshmeltn



ahahahahhahaha.
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joshmeltn is not online. joshmeltn
Joined: 28 Aug 2009
Total Posts: 2378
27 Apr 2014 12:23 PM
An angry whale? :P




b4
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guvonCP is not online. guvonCP
Joined: 15 Sep 2011
Total Posts: 14413
27 Apr 2014 12:23 PM
I get TheElder's joke k

crį
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blzingdoglol is not online. blzingdoglol
Joined: 03 Jun 2011
Total Posts: 321
27 Apr 2014 12:23 PM
WHY DID THE BOY DROP HIS ICE CREAM?
BECAUSE HE WAS HIT BY A BUS

-I CHANGED MY SIGGY BECAUSE SOMEONE ASKED ME TO OK-
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pockypewpew is not online. pockypewpew
Joined: 22 Sep 2013
Total Posts: 4192
27 Apr 2014 12:24 PM
who eats soggy bread and cries about it








kosimi

why am i not entitled to free eggs?!
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joshmeltn is not online. joshmeltn
Joined: 28 Aug 2009
Total Posts: 2378
27 Apr 2014 12:24 PM
bravo




b6
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lightning9160 is not online. lightning9160
Joined: 16 Jun 2011
Total Posts: 5732
27 Apr 2014 12:25 PM
Don't go outside!
There's something called the sun!




Windows has detected that you have moved your mouse. Please restart your computer.
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joshmeltn is not online. joshmeltn
Joined: 28 Aug 2009
Total Posts: 2378
27 Apr 2014 12:25 PM
b7
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joshmeltn is not online. joshmeltn
Joined: 28 Aug 2009
Total Posts: 2378
27 Apr 2014 12:26 PM
b8
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Kotawl is not online. Kotawl
Joined: 22 Jun 2013
Total Posts: 23595
27 Apr 2014 12:27 PM
wanna hear a joke?
football in america
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joshmeltn is not online. joshmeltn
Joined: 28 Aug 2009
Total Posts: 2378
27 Apr 2014 12:27 PM
heh


b9
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CruiserTetron is not online. CruiserTetron
Joined: 13 Jun 2009
Total Posts: 24349
27 Apr 2014 12:27 PM
Guess where this one came from.

Y) "There were two ships...
Z) "one was painted red...
B) "and the other blue.
C) "They collided.
X) "At last report, the survivors were marooned."

X) "How many zombies does it take to play...
Y) "hide-and-seek?
B) "One."

Y) "Knock knock." (Who's there?)
Z) "Boo." (Boo who?)
A) "Aww, don't cry. It's only me."

B) "This horse walks into a bar,...
X) "and the bartender says,...
C) "'Hey, why the long face?'"

Z) "You want to make a zombie laugh...
C) "on Monday mornings?
B) "Tell him a joke on Friday night."

A) "Why'd the dinosaur...
X) "cross the road?
Z) "Because chickens hadn't evolved yet."

X) "What do you call a fly...
Y) "buzzing inside a zombie's head?
C) "A space invader."

B) "How do you get two drummers...
X) "to play in unison?
Y) "Shoot one."

X) "Why'd the chicken...
A) "cross the playground?
B) "To prove he wasn't a chicken."

X) "Why didn't the chicken's skeleton...
B) "cross the road?
Y) "He didn't have any guts."

C) "You know that math exam was a piece of cake,...
Z) "which was a kind of surprise because...
B) "I was expecting some questions on a piece of paper."

A) "These two eskimos in a kayak were freezing butt-cold.
Z) "So, they lit a fire in the boat and it sank,...
C) "proving once and for all...
X) "you can't have your kayak and heat it, too."

X) "What did the zen master say...
Z) "to the hot dog vendor?
A) "'Make me one with everything.'"

A) "Knock knock." (Who's there?)
C) "Orange." (Orange who?)
Z) "Orange you glad I came?"

X) "Knock knock." (Who's there?)
B) "Hanz." (Hanz who?)
C) "Hanz up! You're under arrest."

C) "Now, why is...
Y) "the frog green?
A) "Because he eats peanut butter."

X) "You want to make a zombie's...
Z) "eyes light up?
B) "Shine a flashlight in his ear."

A) "Knock knock." (Who's there?)
C) "Abby." (Abby who?)
B) "Abby birthday to you."

Z) "Two boweevils grew up in South Carolina.
C) "Now one went to Hollywood and became a famous actor.
A) "The other stayed behind in the cotton fields and never
amounted to much.
Y) "The second one naturally became known as...
B) "the lesser of two weevils."

X) "Why'd the turkey...
Y) "cross the road?
C) "To prove he wasn't a chicken."

A) "You guys are so skinny,...
Y) "if you were wearing white shirts and red ties,...
Z) "you'd look like thermometers."

Z) "How do you know when a drummer...
C) "is knocking at your door?
X) "The knock is out of time."

A) "Why did the zombie...
Z) "drive into the ditch?
C) "To turn the blinker off."

A) "You know how people say...
C) "'Time flies when you're having fun?'
X) "Well, frogs say...
B) "'Time's fun when you're having flies."

Y) "Knock knock." (Who's there?)
Z) "The interupting cow. (The interupting cow who?)
A) "Moooooooooo..." [Note that this line must be triggered while
the skeletons are asking "The interupting cow who?"]

C) "What's purple...
A) "and robs banks?
Z) "Al Ca-plum."

Z) "What's green...
Y) "and sings?
A) "Elvis Parsley."

A) "How do you get a guitar player...
Y) "to stop playing?
X) "Give him some sheet music."

B) "Why'd the siamese twins...
X) "move to England?
C) "The other twin wanted to learn to drive."

B) "Why did the chicken...
X) "cross the road?
A) "To get to the other side."

C) "Why do guitar players dance...
A) "while they play?
Z) "To get away from the noise the drums are making."

X) "Three tomatoes were walking down the road: ...
B) "a pappa, a momma, and a baby tomato.
Y) "Pretty soon the baby tomato started falling behind, so the
pappa tomato went back, ...
A) "squashed him flat, and said, ...
C) "Ketchup!"

A) "What do you call a fish...
X) "that's missing an eye?
Y) "Fshhhhhh..."

Y) "What happens...
Z) "if you play the blues backwards?
C) "Why, your wife returns to you, your dog comes back to life,
and you get out of prison."

Y) "What do you get...
X) "when you cross a snowman...
B) "with a vampire?
A) "Frostbite."

X) "Now what do you call 100 rabbits...
Z) "in a row...
A) "all hoppin' backwards?
C) "A receding hare-line."

A) "I found this violin and this picture in the attic the other
day.
C) "I took them to the auctioneer, and he says,...
B) "'What you got there is a Stradivari and a Rembrant.
Z) "'Unfortunately, Stradivari was a rotten painter, and Rembrant
couldn't make violins.'"

B) "Now why did the monkey...
Y) "fall out of the tree?
A) "Because he was dead."

X) "Now what do a vacuum cleaner...
B) "and an electric guitar...
Z) "have in common?
C) "Both suck when you plug them in."

Z) "What do you get...
B) "when you offer a zombie...
Y) "a penny for his thoughts?
A) "Change."

A) "Now,...
C) "why are we here?
Z) "Because they don't want us there."

X) "Knock knock." (Who's there?)
Y) "Andy." (Andy who?)
Z) "Andy bit me again."

Y) "I went to the doctor for a check up.
X) "It was okay.
Z) "He was there."

X) "Why did the cow...
A) "cross the road?
Y) "To get to the udder side."

B) "A string walks into a bar, sits down, and orders a drink.
C) "The bartender says, 'We don't serve strings in here.'
X) "So the string goes outside, ties himself up, roughs himself up
in the head, goes back in the bar, and orders a drink.
Z) "The bartender says, 'Hey, aren't you the same string who just
came in here?'
A) "The string answers and says, 'No, I'm a frayed knot.'"

Z) "Now, why couldn't the zombie...
Y) "write the number eleven?
A) "He didn't know which one came first."

X) "How do you make a drum...
Y) "sound totally cool?
B) "Sell it and buy a guitar."

X) "Why do ants...
Z) "hide behind tress?
A) "To trip elephants."

B) "What goes...
Z) "'Vroom! Screech! Vrooom! Screech! Vrooom! Screeeeech!?'
A) "A zombie driving through a flashing red light."

B) "Why did the chicken...
Y) "cross the road, ...
Z) "roll in the mud, ...
C) "and cross the road again?
X) "He was a dirty double crosser."

C) "You guys are so skinny, ...
Y) "if you were standing sideways, ...
Z) "I couldn't even see you."

C) "What do you call a guy...
X) "who...
A) "hangs out with musicians?
Z) "A drummer."

X) "Now why do bands...
B) "have bass players?
Z) "To explain things to the drummer."

A) "A mushroom walks into a bar, ...
X) "sits down, and orders a drink.
Y) "The bartender says, ...
Z) "'Hey, we don't serve mushrooms here.'
B) "The mushroom says, 'Why? I'm a fun guy.'"

Z) "Did you hear about the skeleton...
C) "who couldn't go to the prom?
X) "He had no body to go with."

Z) "Knock knock." (Who's there?)
Y) "Who." (Who who?)
X) "Hey, is there an owl in here?"

Y) "Why did the teacher...
A) "draw a dot...
Z) "on the chalkboard?
B) "He wanted to illustrate a point."

X) "Two peanuts...
C) "were walking...
Z) "in Central Park.
Y) "One was assaulted."

Y) "This guy went to see this shrink and said, ...
Z) "'Doctor, you know sometimes I think I'm a wigwam, and
other times I think I'm a teepee.
X) "'Wigwam. Teepee. Teepee. Wigwam.
A) "'What am I, doc?'
B) "And the doc said, 'Well, calm down, son. You're too tense.'"

Y) "What did one wall...
X) "say...
A) "to the other wall?
C) "Meet you at the corner."

Buckle your paaants, just buckle them babies nice and tight, please!
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blzingdoglol is not online. blzingdoglol
Joined: 03 Jun 2011
Total Posts: 321
27 Apr 2014 12:27 PM
HOW DO YOU MAKE A PLUMBER CRY
YOU KILL HIS FAMILY

-I CHANGED MY SIGGY BECAUSE SOMEONE ASKED ME TO OK-
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PowerfulSarah is not online. PowerfulSarah
Joined: 15 Jun 2012
Total Posts: 4430
27 Apr 2014 12:28 PM
You REALLY don't get Elder's joke?
Idiot.
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BannedProfiles is not online. BannedProfiles
Joined: 23 Mar 2013
Total Posts: 3235
27 Apr 2014 12:28 PM
why didn't the kid go to the pirate movie

because it was rated arrr
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knily is not online. knily
Joined: 08 Aug 2012
Total Posts: 3935
27 Apr 2014 12:29 PM
i never knew OT was bad at jokes

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000FredLimer is not online. 000FredLimer
Joined: 23 Oct 2011
Total Posts: 2954
27 Apr 2014 12:30 PM
what do black people play
not swimming

i have a new siggy
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