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Re: [EoT] - Auto-Biography/Obituary - Sullius Varian Carius

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XxCariusxX is not online. XxCariusxX
Joined: 12 Jun 2008
Total Posts: 60
21 Apr 2014 09:31 PM
I probably will retire from service in this Genre. This being the 2nd time I've done so. The 1st time being because of severe mental issues, such as near insanity,
brainwashed myself, etc, as well as a overwhelmingly depressing event. I've a lot going on in my life right now, family dying, family to bury, my own health,
my own life, etc. I'm to a point in which I look at this, and I see no point in it anymore, any of it, an old EoT, a new EoT, the TES Genre, nearly the whole game,
nearly all games. Xbox, PlayStation, Nintendo, PC, etc. I see my life goals instead, I see my health, I see future life, I see love. I have met friends on here,
I value all of you dearly, I truly do, and knowing my luck, some people will still be blind, and see the untimely situations as reason for my leaving, more so of
a tipper, but anyways. Friends can build you up, and those same friends can tear you down. You can make plans with your friends, they can take those plans to other
people, they can do things without intent of hurting you, but you can still be hurt. You can waste your life on a game, only to feel worthless. You can harm your
health, you can hurt your grades, you can harm your relationship with family, spending all your time on this, you can try your best, oh you can try your best...
some people won't take heed of such, they simply don't care, they are without emotion, they are heartless, simply view yourself as a pawn. I'm tired of feeling like
I'm a pawn, like I am being used. The reward goes to the one whom can rush in first, and have no heart. I've no more respect for a Heartless man to be given complete
leadership than for a rich man who recieves his wealth from the poor. But not like any of this matters.... Life calls all of us, it's dramatic, it's sad, it's painful,
it's happy, it's joyful, it's depressing, what can you do? I've exausted myself on this game, just as my grandmother exausted herself taking care of my grandpa, and
she hurt her health tremondously because of it, even died mainly to the assistance of such. I worry too much over this group, I get too upset over this group, over it's people.
I work too hard for something, for people, for us, just to feel like a pawn, whom might as well be tossed to the side. One can have a dream, a plan, to work together, with
a few others, though for work and it being unfair, hurts, truly does. I came to this Empire near exact a year ago, I was thrilled to be in it, loved how it matched the game
to an extent, loved seeing the logo, all the TES inspired places, the TES inspired organization, the intimidation of the officers at the time, I loved EoT, not to mention
I have been an Imperialist since the age of 5 and I now sit at 18. I was so excited to work and earn a promotion, the first time I was promoted I was like "victory dance".
Ranks held a meaning back then, each rank so so so valuable..... though I felt left out of EoT, not cared for at the time, I still stayed for my Imperialistic background,
I was raised on TES, homeschooled all the way to 5th grade, played nothing but Morrowind pretty much, Arena and Daggerfall too. a bit. I had goals, my first was simple
(get the full uniform), then it was to get the first promotion, next to regain my SF skills, then it was the rank of Legionaire to reach... and then Praefect.
(Proudly progressed from Recruit to Praefect in 1 week) without any friendships, without much talking at all, etc. then my goal was Captain, and I worked so hard on that...
I quit EoT and even helped Co-Lead a BoS (Brotherhood of Steel) group. and I did most if not all of the work and planning. It helped me to gain skills for Captain rank in EoT
I asked several officers how they reached it, I got alot of input, I even asked Dathuran what he thought an Ideal officer would be, I still hold such message to heart.
I worked hard, I tried. I hosted a training or two, which in my opinion turned out horrible though I did turn the palace into a teamwork obby, but people saw potential in me,
officers such as Witten helped recommend me.. Eventually I was promoted to captain, and I pretty much hosted basic trainings... I worked hard though, I tried,
I was determined, I had effort, and I still was intimidated by those above me, and those whom came before previous times. I remember when Augura was promoted to General,
and he was like a people person, and no one really liked me, but then eventually idk he disapeared, never was heard from again, sadly. So eventually, a clothing price floor
update was made to roblox, and it killed the activity, nearly no one, idk if it was the update alone, or etc. But I was left, for a good long while, hosted stuff alot
and normally waited hours for 1 or 2 to show up so we could do something. this carried on for so long, though eventually it made good progress and Imperials started attending
, Rainicornlover hosted to near this time, and I remember we were both promoted to General at some point, same day same time just about. and thats when EoT was doing 5 people
at most just about, and so eventually (and skipping a very very important change in my life; Oct 13 at 11:29am just about, but that change is known only to a select few)
I decided I wanted to make EoT a Fort Frostmoth, which was one of my goals back even as an LR, for it's a fort I love, my favorite in the whole series. so I eventually get
time, I make Fort Frostmoth in about 13 hours. (None stop work) and alot of people love it, and considered it a real fort "not just a wall", etc. Then my next goal was
Ebonheart, got that goal done, and those forts may have been the key to bringing EoT out of inactivity, as well as my dedication, and near constant acivitity. So I go work
like this for the next month or so, and due to Dathuran's semi inactive state and work with TIRA, people start telling me I should be the Emperor, which I basically refused
to believe, though I told them it'd be a nice thought. Carried on like that for another month or so. but eventually in January I had to deal with a tragic event, which I
already was depressed, count in insane/self-brainwashed to that list. to which I left EoT, got better came back about 3 weeks later, it basically and to my grief, died.
(I still hate on myself for such as well as the mistakes to come). I managed to get captain rank, and then General again, worked hard with some, brought EoT back to life
again. Worked on some new forts, just never had that motivation again, never finished them, but plans to of course. I eventually got hold of some classics and improved them.
and eventually a "New EoT" idea came to mind, inspired by Rindir himself. Built me up, told me I should be Emperor, etc. and I eventually started to believe it.
Heard rumors of sell harm, of Dathuran even planning on shutting EoT down, so I got scared, went with rindir's idea, made a new EoT group to preserve and continue EoT.
(Which I regret such action of making it) a couple such as StrangeEvil, Kahlerian, CloverPaw, etc convinced me to shut it down, or atleast until we saw if Dathuran came back.
which eventually he does, thankfully... and well now it sits with him and us, and now Rindir, LordDragonian made a new EoT, and use some of my ideas, and use my uniform requests
for it, and it's jump started, so now LordDragonian sits there stuck up, both says it's theirs, and they invite me, yet even for my work and hard work, I'd not even be equal to LordD
himself in the group, when I spent all my hard work and my own suffering on EoT and he suddenly drops D'hara, pairs up with Rindir, and whomever else. and they make that thing.
and yet he still has to be one step above everyone else, and then all they can think about is the group itself, LordDragonian with no care for the Imperials themselves, except those whom
are his pawns, sits just content on "Building an Empire". Cares not if alot of Imperials approve of him or not. For about three years Dathuran has known him, even he himself said LordD
has used people, such as Vudii. Unless he lied to me of course. Also, Dathuran is undecisive on whether or not to merge with LordDragonian's group or not, merging would mean LordDragonian
would be crowned Emperor, or whatever rank he so chooses now. LordDragonian practically makes it as though he has to have complete control over the group, and to be one step above everyone
else. This merge will most likely happen, sadly. Now the reason this is even a problem for me, was because of a certain respect I held for the title, that LordD didn't meet in my eyes, but now
it's that it seems as though he's just power hungry to whatever degree. (some I know believe me to be power hungry) however, I was pushed into such because of several imperials, and
there near the last Rindir. Funny though, because of all he said, he built me up. and now he's torn me down. and with LordD, yeah sure, I my well being matters to you
when I can assist you with your group, yeah sure, try to be kind to me and ask me for help, when it's just as Dathuran probably warned me of, your just trying to appeal to me.
Life, and this combined... I want no part of this new EoT, atleast not under LordDragonian's leadership. Not that he doesn't have the skills, or anything, it's just I want no part of
something I am not even considered important in, I'd just be another pawn. much as any whom joins it, I am sure. LordDragonian only cares for those whom can benefit him, and his goals.
you don't meet that criteria? Your life matters not to him. But I am rambling again.... not like any of this even matters.... Life is what matters truly, not this game, as I have let
it become. Watch as loved ones come and go, and in some cases you ignore them for this, you waste your time on this, ignore them, and then they are gone, can't get back that time,
My dog.... he went missing 2/5/14, and I... spent the last 2 weeks before he went missing, ignoring him, and playing and working on this group, I've ignored my parents, I've ignored
my only friend in real life, I've hurt my grades, I've hurt my physical health, I've hurt and ignored alot of things, I've depressed myself so much over this, this group, this thing,
when it's all just a game, I've hurt my life, over this, time I will never get back. Though I enjoyed what I have done, I've enjoyed the presence of all the Imperials, I was thrilled
to be with all of you, even those whom started to hate me for whatever reason, my own mistakes of which I hate myself for. I've lost friends I value dearly over such mistakes,
I've cared so much for each individual in this group, and even the genre, yet I didn't always show it, I was slow to anger, and many of you probably thought I may have got angry
alot, but I never truly did... but maybe once or twice. I am a very emotional, caring, soft hearted person, I've cried atleast 3 times over this group in my entire EoT history,
one of which was last night, and the other two times were upon a mistake and the words of others, I've let myself be torn so much to the point in which I couldn't even
walk inside of my own fort, or touch it's stone. I remember alot of good things I've done too... like my little promotion speeches, thanking everyone for my promotion and etc.
Perhaps I've lost that part of myself, or perhaps I took the next step and I push on my own leadership. I've many things in my life that has assisted me; Staff Sergeant in JROTC
at my High School, Squad Leader twice in the past 2 years, and Company leader once. I'm a leading example in my church, alot of people look up to me, I'm even a great influence
for my only friend in Real life, Mason. I've kept him out of a lot of things, bad things, because he followed my example, sure we've had our fights but eh. Normally those fights
believe it or not were actually over leadership and directory of "Forts" we have built in our woods. But enough of that, Apologies for going off topic, but I figure you should know
a bit of my life, and how it's influenced me a bit. Though most of this is just scattered, all over the place, and that I apologize for that. I also am sorry I am even leaving, or retiring,
I've little hold on this thing anymore, and LordDragonian being crowned or having complete leadership over something I have loved, and worked so hard for, just because he's riding on
cocktails of past leadership service and a quick planning with Rindir and several others. I just can't take it, I cannot maintain my mentality being under him, I'll end up killing myself
before I ever submit. Most likely a merge will happen, and if he gets complete control/his little step above everyone else, I'll have no part of it. It's nothing personal I assure you,
or perhaps it is, and I am just blind to it being so, whatever the case, I have my options laid out before me. But I know which one I'll probably choose, and I'll leave a broken man.
Feeling unappreciated for my work, feeling sized down, feeling worthless, feeling betrayed, feeling useless, feeling a part of myself gone, and feeling hated. Not like I can
really do anything about it, it all just.... doesn't matter anymore, I. Was. Just. a. Pawn. I'm a horrible HR, like most people such as StrangeEvil say. I'm not good enough
to lead, LordDragonian even had to make a stupid case he never furfilled to see if I was the best to be in the position I am in. I am not fit to lead, nor do I have the experience to lead
such as LordDragonian and supposed "Quotes" Dathuran has said. I don't even deserve to be a General, as CloverPaw has said. I don't have any business in most affairs, as Mastercheif155 has said.
I'm only the rank I am for my building skills, when I made it to this rank even before I started building for the Empire. I am only good for my Building Skills, and my Dedication
and even then, that is useless. Rindir, Kjerag, PDragoneye, and nearly Betaking97 beat me. I'm a turd compared to them. When I leave, I bet I can quote Strange. "Another corrupt officer gone"
, "He wasn't much of a leader anyway", and whatever else the punk has to say.... not like I have had many friends anyway... atleast true friends..... SWATMAN12.... a very precious friend... my
best friend on here... perhaps soon in real life as well.... Raddie00442299... One whom I always trusted and loved nearly since we met, helped me overcome so many problems with myself, such as
a stomach anxiety, not caring enough for my health, etc... Rainicornlover... has helped me through such a hard time and another great person to talk to...... could just about call her my Sister,...
.. Burnblade1, Voxheim, and AchillesofGreece.. adopted me as a brother in their brother circle.. <3 ..... Theonedude... though we've been through rough patches due to a lack of communication...
Aeoncen, Slivergolden1545, and Mastersonic2000... my RP sons.... great to work with them... Betaking97.. great to work with him as well.... Rindir... though I don't know anymore.... :C ..
scarzo, PDragoneye.... shown some care..... and probably a few more........ then there are those I am friends with... that are sadly only for the group... and those whom I have lost... such
as Bensbodyguard... possibly Rindir... possbibly a few others.... though I care for all of them, all of you, even if your reading this and I don't know you, I still care for you regardless...
Dathuran might have became a great friend.... though such little contact...... even LordDragonian...though he probably hates me for what I have said, and or judges me for my actions... and what
I have said... .. I'm practically talking directly to whomever is reading this.... for it's escalated quite fast...... I appreciate it if you've read this far..... all good things must come
to an end eventually on this earth... we live, we die... I'm just going to end it here.. though I've loads more to say... might even write a book... though... I'll just include it all in my
auto-biography, that I want published upon my death... .. I'm just going to go ahead and leave.... ... I've spoke my mind... I can cry all I want over this, I can be hurt over it, I can be torn
over it... but it's my time, and I am just hurting several by staying anyway, and this will make several more happy apparently...... Farewell, Imperials... It's been a pleasure serving with all
of you, good luck on the roads ahead... be it with Dathuran's Empire, or LordDragonian's Empire, or whatever road you take... You'll all stay in my prayers.. General Sullius Varian Carius of the
Imperial Legion, Commander of Fort Frostmoth, signing off. -Takes a knell, stabbing his Imperial Broadsword into the earth, loses breath slowly and finally stop breathing-
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Chitzer is not online. Chitzer
Joined: 23 May 2012
Total Posts: 1030
21 Apr 2014 09:33 PM
Please get out.
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StrangeEvil is not online. StrangeEvil
Joined: 11 Oct 2011
Total Posts: 2957
21 Apr 2014 09:38 PM
^ lmao

cones are the stopping point of ur lives!11
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slivergolden1545 is not online. slivergolden1545
Joined: 27 Oct 2010
Total Posts: 16
21 Apr 2014 09:39 PM
Carius, you have always been like a father to me, you looked out for me, but now it is good to see you are looking out for yourself. Best Of Luck - Slivergolden1545
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GoIbat is not online. GoIbat
Joined: 31 Aug 2013
Total Posts: 346
21 Apr 2014 09:44 PM
good riddens
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RainiRaddie is not online. RainiRaddie
Joined: 25 Oct 2013
Total Posts: 19
21 Apr 2014 09:48 PM
We both became Generals together, and strived with one another throughout the time I was in EoT. You are a very talented builder/leader. You are a very good motivation/idol.

-rainirainiraini-
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StrangeEvil is not online. StrangeEvil
Joined: 11 Oct 2011
Total Posts: 2957
21 Apr 2014 10:03 PM
All he even did was build.
He's got the same life problems as me, you don't see me whining about it forever. I got over the death of a close one after 3 days, he's been grieving for 5 days.
My own health is terrible, I'm bad at maintaining it. I'm nearly psychotic myself, I don't go crying about it for attention.

cones are the stopping point of ur lives!11
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aknightgrunt is not online. aknightgrunt
Joined: 28 Mar 2010
Total Posts: 610
21 Apr 2014 10:23 PM
May your travels be safe, and the Lord be in your heart.

Have a good one where you go.

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Toolbelt is not online. Toolbelt
Joined: 25 Aug 2010
Total Posts: 143
21 Apr 2014 10:56 PM
Strange, all you do is judge others, I don't see you doing much for EoT at all, we all have to move away from a genre or roblox at somepoint, it can be slow or unnoticeable, or it can be fast and brutal. All we can do is keep the Veterans of roblox at heart, and make their memories fuel and inspiration for our own goals, because when we leave, which we will, we want to leave with no regrets.
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Toolbelt is not online. Toolbelt
Joined: 25 Aug 2010
Total Posts: 143
21 Apr 2014 10:57 PM
Farewell carius, you will always be in our memories and your legacy will fuel our dreams
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ronan845 is not online. ronan845
Joined: 09 Jul 2008
Total Posts: 47
21 Apr 2014 10:57 PM
Out of all that, I wasn't mentioned once e.e I thought I was a friend of his....
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LimanoXx is not online. LimanoXx
Joined: 29 Jul 2009
Total Posts: 67
21 Apr 2014 11:15 PM
ITS SO FKlNG LONG, I hope you feel better, and hopefully you will be successful in life.
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yia is not online. yia
Joined: 06 Nov 2008
Total Posts: 13563
21 Apr 2014 11:17 PM
tl;dr

you didn't even bother to format this monster

dango dango
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XxCariusxX is not online. XxCariusxX
Joined: 12 Jun 2008
Total Posts: 60
21 Apr 2014 11:43 PM
Apologies for those I also forgot to include, I am sure there are a couple... sadly, and I'll add when I remember, but to add on to my list of true friends.. Ronan845, one of the General's I looked up to back during my LR years, along with Yurim6 as my other favorite General. Took time to actually talk to a LR (me) whom was a nobody at the time, and has helped me in a lot of circumstances, and has listened to me ramble quite a good bit, and kept an eye out for me in the group; and even now still believes in my ability I am blind to see at this point in time.

(Surely not all of the story between us, but that's a good basic)

As for the others I forgot, (I am sure there are more) I'll add in your name and story in this soon.
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XxCariusxX is not online. XxCariusxX
Joined: 12 Jun 2008
Total Posts: 60
21 Apr 2014 11:54 PM
and... another... LOL omg left out :ccc.

Anyways and another good friend; Justinroblox13, listened to my rambling quite a bit, good person to talk to, wrote a nice story about me in his Black Horse Courier... C: Helped and supported me. Even now he still believes in my abilities, etc. and actually has a concern for my well being, even though I am "useless" now to some people. (hint hint at passage above and whom is mentioned) yet Justin, along with most of those I mentioned, still care for my well being, and has helped expose some truth held away from my eyes. (same to Ronan, and several others as well)
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GrimSaysHi is not online. GrimSaysHi
Joined: 08 Sep 2013
Total Posts: 1770
22 Apr 2014 12:24 AM
-=[To Carius]=-
It troubles me to see you go. I have really never gotten to meet you. I am so sorry about your life and such. I've heard tales of you being a leader just as good as you we're a builder.(Border line perfect)I wish we could have spoke more often. I bid you farewell and have great travels, I hope to do the best I can for EoT. Even if I am not a high enough rank. I shall keep you in my prayers.


IN REGARDS TO; Chitzer, GoIbat, StrangeEvil. You guys are jerks, Just because you see a man at a weak point does not give you a right to go ahead and attack. He is a great man, You should be ashamed of yourselves.



- -={GrimSaysHi}=-
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stowaway8888 is not online. stowaway8888
Joined: 12 Jan 2012
Total Posts: 12
22 Apr 2014 07:31 AM
I'm sorry to see you leave Carius. I hope our paths cross in the future.
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yayforjoe1 is not online. yayforjoe1
Joined: 22 Feb 2010
Total Posts: 3022
22 Apr 2014 10:03 AM
ROBLOX was made for fun, enjoyment, and ultimately for the staff to make money. You should not hurt yourself protecting unknown people on a computer. Live your life and godspeed. We are all rooting for you back at EoT.
ROBLOX can also be a cruel place, people insulting you because they think you are an easy target. People who get bullied themselves think the best way to vent is to hurt someone else. It's not a great system, (scoffs in real life) It's not a good system. But it's one some choose to live with. But you should not do so at the cost of something real. You heath, your family, and most importantly; your time. You will be missed and its not an easy world out there either. But good luck and godspeed.




~yayforjoe1
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BetaKing97 is not online. BetaKing97
Joined: 09 May 2010
Total Posts: 534
22 Apr 2014 11:28 AM
Carius will be greatly missed.


To those that hated him, @#$% off. He was the best man in the group.
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LordDragonian is not online. LordDragonian
Joined: 12 May 2012
Total Posts: 14
22 Apr 2014 02:15 PM
Reading this all, I am reminded of a quote I heard once. I'd like to share it. "You will only be remembered for two things: the problems you solve or the ones you create."

Now, it's obvious by my 18 mentions in this, that we do not see eye to eye. The fact is Carius, you could not be more wrong about anything you have said. But that's not what I would like to talk about. I'd like to talk about the problems you solved, as that's how I'd prefer you be remembered.

You were one of the last of your kind, an active officer in EoT. Whether it be building, hosting events, or being there for Imperials, you were the go to man. For that I am grateful. I respect you for all you have done, and wish you luck in all of your future endeavors.

To be honest, your mental state is not one needing further complications which were present in the recent TES events. I do not hold your misunderstanding, or anything you have said against you. I wish you the best of luck, and will keep you in my thoughts wishing you a swift recovery.

I have said this once and I will say it again. Carius, you are an exemplary officer. You taught me a lot.

Best of luck.
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warlordmichael is not online. warlordmichael
Joined: 24 Jan 2011
Total Posts: 135
22 Apr 2014 03:04 PM
You forgot to mention that you're also leaving because you weren't going to get the throne.

Sure you're a great builder, sure you've made evident that you're extremely loyal to the Empire; but it takes more than that.

Don't get me wrong, I am strongly appreciative of your devotion to the Imperials, but claiming that you have every right to be the Emperor is absurd.

You were a fantastic soldier and leader to watch rise through the ranks, and I hope that you get better in real life, emotionally, and mentally. :)

Godspeed

-----
- Dathuran
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Celtrex is not online. Celtrex
Joined: 23 Mar 2012
Total Posts: 9264
22 Apr 2014 03:34 PM
ts;dr

"im dumb" -rquinox ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
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DoctorLone is not online. DoctorLone
Joined: 09 Jul 2011
Total Posts: 1614
22 Apr 2014 03:39 PM
Have fun guy.
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CoffeePortal is not online. CoffeePortal
Joined: 07 Sep 2013
Total Posts: 24
22 Apr 2014 04:36 PM
Goodbye Carius
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CoffeePortal is not online. CoffeePortal
Joined: 07 Sep 2013
Total Posts: 24
22 Apr 2014 04:42 PM
How could anyone be so cruel to the point of someone crying? Whomever that individual happens to be should feel ashamed of themselves.
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