crazy651
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| Joined: 16 May 2012 |
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| 15 Apr 2014 01:59 PM |
-[The origins of the Clockwork Corporation]-
Centuries ago, before the great interstellar wars; before the onslaught of Vaktovia, the law of Frostaria, the influence of the WIJ Corporation and many universal events hereafter; the proud workers and functionaries of the Clockwork Corporation resided on a planet; a planet famous to all species and civilisations of the universe; a planet which many fought over and had conquered time and time again, thus eliminating entire continents causing the planet to constantly change its geographical appearance throughout each century; it was the planet Earth.
The year of what triggered the elements of the corporation's coming is unknown, but it is said that it began in the late 19th century, a time of prosperity, power and imperial dominance by the nations of the Europe, in particular, Great Britain. Somewhere in the middle of London, amidst the tides of war, colonialism and changes in society, was a small shop which sold...clocks. From small cuckoo clocks to grandfather clocks. But this was no ordinary shop. The owner of it, whose name is unknown, was a clock maker. Whilst other clock makers made clocks for profit, he on the other hand, merely made clocks to test experiments, which failed, for a vision he had. A vision of a world untouched by the rapidly changing society and world which he lived in; in other words, a utopia. Most visions usually are of a utopia, however this was no ordinary vision; no military or economic power was needed to achieve this. Only intellect and dedication. The veracity of the origins of the corporation are still indeed, dubious, but it is said that one day, the clock maker finally achieved what he had been trying to create for so very long. He had finally managed to create a clock which opened the fabric of space and time itself, acting as a teleport to a remote location, in the same time period. A rift, so to speak. Of course, several weeks were spent testing this phenomenon, and in secret too.
Only when the clock maker had concluded that what was on the other side of the dimension was safe for humans, did he begin to gather his friends and family who supported him, and venture through the rift. The clock maker knew that it was impossible to go back; the nature of the rift did not permit a bilateral teleport. He could have made another clock; but to ensure the safety and survival of his utopian vision, he took his secrets with him to the grave. But that was no cause for regret! After entering the rift, what soon followed was far better than the clock's powers.
The world which the clock maker and his supporters stepped into was much like Earth, but its location was unknown at the time. It was certainly a place like no other: three islands, the centre island being of gigantic proportions. Those islands are what we know today as Lymphos, Dabra and Varian. And together, they formed the nation which the Clockwork Corporation proudly serves; a nation which the clock maker decided to name after his cultural Victorian heritage: Aria Mirkalanium.
Through the years, the centuries rolled by, as the descendants of the clock maker's family and friends grew in numbers and formed an entire people, Aria Mirkalanium developed. Due to the isolation from other worlds, several Victorian elements remained in the architecture and technological infrastructure, still however, quite advanced. The rift which the clock maker activated closed up on the other side, but remained open in this new world. So, whilst never re-making the teleportation properties that it once had, the leading government of Aria Mirkalanium, by then named the Clockwork Corporation in honour of the clock maker and his work, used the rift's properties to develop several features which allowed them to bring energy and power to their technology, whilst combined with traditional Victorian steam power. It was only a century or two ago, that the corporation mastered the power of flight, in both air and space, which allowed them to explore other worlds and...colonise.
-[Aria Mirkalanium- the islands]-
Aria Mirkalanium consists of three islands- Orphal, Dabra and Varian, Orphal being the largest island. Here is a brief description of each island:
-Orphal
The largest island, Orphal is the location of the majority of Aria Mirkalanium's residential population. The island is dominated by tall Victorian styled skyscrapers, radiating a slight glow due to the artificial lampposts within. It is the "capital" of Aria Mirkalanium, where all government and military activities take place. When invading Aria Mirkalanium, Orphal is impossible to breach; the siege would last months, if not years before breaching its defences.
-Dabra
Curiously, the smallest island, Dabra is a peaceful marshy island, acting as Aria Mirkalanium's source of agriculture and nourishment for the population. Whilst small and harmless, it is vital to the Clockwork Corporation's economy and to Aria Mirkalanium's survival. There are many small villages scattered across it, and at some points of the year, the residents of Orphal flock to Dabra's sandy beaches and rural festivals.
-Varian
The heart of the military's power and the fuel of the economy, Varian is a heavily polluted island, swarming with factories of all ballistic and industrial trades, its fumes visible in the clear blue skies, darkening the clouds above. Conveniently the island is located the furthest away from the other two, but there are sometimes incidents of industrial waste being washed up on the shores of Dabra and sometimes, Orphal. However, the corporation has made sure that industrial waste is properly disposed of or put to good use, but air breathing masks are still a requirement when setting foot on Varian. Especially when descending the coal mines. Majority of the coal mine workers are Draconian laborers who were in need of a job after TCC's invasion on Dranasia.
-[Slang Terms]- Orphal - Nea Victoria (slang) Varian - Dirty Slobs (slang 1), Draconian Slobs (slang 2) Dabra - Dabridans (slang) |
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| 15 Apr 2014 01:59 PM |
| tl;dr version - steampunk blah blah blah |
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Inysa
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| Joined: 18 Sep 2012 |
| Total Posts: 4477 |
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| 15 Apr 2014 02:03 PM |
... No... Just, there's no logic in this. At all. God, the Red Forge lore I made was lazy but it made sense and was actually decent.
"the descendants of the clock maker's family and friends grew in numbers and formed an entire people" - HAVEN'T YOU EVER HEARD OF INBREEDING? YEA. THIS WOULDN'T WORK. |
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crazy651
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| Joined: 16 May 2012 |
| Total Posts: 9684 |
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| 15 Apr 2014 02:04 PM |
@inysa so you are implying that lissitski's work is not decent? |
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| 15 Apr 2014 02:04 PM |
tl;dr version - steampunk blah blah blah [2]
I shall call you squishy, and you shall be part of my jelly fish army. |
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Inysa
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| Joined: 18 Sep 2012 |
| Total Posts: 4477 |
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| 15 Apr 2014 02:12 PM |
Implying?
Hell I'm outright saying it. This sucks. Like steampunk isn't my writing forte but this is rubbish. He made a clock and that opened a portal? It makes no sense. And the parts that do are just bad. |
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| 15 Apr 2014 02:17 PM |
@Inysa,
So, according to you, the Time Machine by H.G. Wells makes no sense? Granted, I'm not a fan of the concept of inbreeding put forth by this story (you'd definitely need a more diverse population than what has been put forth), but a suspension of disbelief is required for any of these stories to make sense.
A clock maker turning out a portal to another dimension is no more unrealistic than a professor who managed to discover a rift in time.
I could not see you enjoying much writing, if you a lack a willing suspension of disbelief. |
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| 15 Apr 2014 02:19 PM |
| inysa seems a bit too confident on this forum |
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| 15 Apr 2014 02:19 PM |
where the fk is seal island
Add 3,545 forum posts. |
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K1D4
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| Joined: 13 Jun 2013 |
| Total Posts: 10006 |
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| 15 Apr 2014 02:20 PM |
i kind of like this. A 7.9.
The neko |
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Inysa
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| Joined: 18 Sep 2012 |
| Total Posts: 4477 |
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| 15 Apr 2014 02:25 PM |
| A valid point but the difference lies in subtle context and content. Hard to explain. I get really technical. |
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| 15 Apr 2014 02:25 PM |
i think inysa makes better lore :/
Add 3,545 forum posts. |
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| 15 Apr 2014 02:27 PM |
@Inysa,
I would appreciate it, if you would try to explain it. |
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| 15 Apr 2014 02:29 PM |
| it isn't the best i've seen |
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Inysa
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| Joined: 18 Sep 2012 |
| Total Posts: 4477 |
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| 15 Apr 2014 02:39 PM |
Um. Alright.
Wells is, foremost, a writer. Novel form immediately makes anything more acceptable, though I'm not a huge fan of his style so that's negated.
A professor discovering a temporal rift in sci-fi is one thing. He develops a machine for the purpose of harnessing it, and succeeds. The immediate distinction there is that it was a goal he explicitly stove to. A clockmaker developing a portal via clock is a VERY different thing. Some sci-fi explanation can be made for time travel but the idea of a clock doing anything is just completely baseless. If he wants a utopia, what is he doing making clocks? Why would he only bring his family when that's genetically impossible? Where did the materials on these islands come from? Beyond just GETTING there, there's so many things that just can't stand up. I don't know, it just... Doesn't work. |
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| 15 Apr 2014 02:49 PM |
I agree with your addition of the distinction between the Time Machine and this, and I felt that using a random clock maker to make this discovery was not well-thought out in the slightest.
I do believe that the lore said that he did bring a large group of friends (this isn't a highly diverse gene pool, naturally, but it's better than just a family).
Obviously, it's highly convenient that they teleported onto a planet just like Earth (rather than a sun, space, or an inhospitable planet like Venus), but that would explain how the materials necessary for life were there.
Overall, I'm not a fan of this work (I have never been a fan of anything made in this genre), but I did feel that you were overly harsh in your criticism of it. |
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| 15 Apr 2014 02:50 PM |
| ...just because its lissitski doesnt mean its good... omfg |
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crazy651
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| Joined: 16 May 2012 |
| Total Posts: 9684 |
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| 15 Apr 2014 02:52 PM |
| I never stated that it is good because lissitski wrote it. |
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| 15 Apr 2014 02:53 PM |
"so you are implying that lissitski's work is not decent?"
all righty |
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crazy651
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| Joined: 16 May 2012 |
| Total Posts: 9684 |
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| 15 Apr 2014 02:54 PM |
that statement does not state that it is good just because lissitski wrote it. you can interpret it however you'd like. |
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