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Re: Could you grammarize this?

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loner778 is not online. loner778
Joined: 15 Aug 2012
Total Posts: 1306
21 Mar 2014 02:54 PM
The sands of time, everything has a price. So does your head.


You are all hunted down for entering the kings/queens palace and stealing a relic that causes sandstorms and a relic of your choice, it must be able to either shift your sorroundings or cause weathers.


Being blessed by the god RA, you went on a journey to get a band of mercenaries or friends to create a army so you could wage war against the sun titan.

Example:

Name: (Make names sound arabic or egyptian) Wosret.

Ability relic: Able to shift sands to create golems.

Bio: Once a king of a castle was caught triying to steal the relic for a war, now left with nothing.



Can you guys please make this grammarized and perfect for a ideal roleplay? Please?
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soardlo is not online. soardlo
Joined: 24 Apr 2008
Total Posts: 19593
21 Mar 2014 02:57 PM
I....I....I tried....but...I....it...I....-dies-
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loner778 is not online. loner778
Joined: 15 Aug 2012
Total Posts: 1306
21 Mar 2014 02:59 PM
Well... Etleast it gave you cancer. :/


NOBODY CAN DEFEAT THIS MIGHTY BEAST OF UNGrammar!
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Hydreigons is not online. Hydreigons
Joined: 19 Nov 2012
Total Posts: 11572
21 Mar 2014 03:02 PM
I puked in my mouth, just a bit.
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soardlo is not online. soardlo
Joined: 24 Apr 2008
Total Posts: 19593
21 Mar 2014 03:03 PM
-twitches-
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Mycousinblade is not online. Mycousinblade
Joined: 14 Mar 2011
Total Posts: 3637
21 Mar 2014 03:06 PM
~Eye starts twitching.~

Help me....
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Swmachoodoo is not online. Swmachoodoo
Joined: 09 Jan 2010
Total Posts: 36
21 Mar 2014 03:16 PM
I... I'll do my best? ^_^'' I'm not quite sure what it's even supposed to read, truth be told... (EDIT: Mother of pearl! These are some terrifying run-on sentences.)



The Sands of Time
Everything has a price, even your head.

You've been hunted down for entering the king's/queen's palace and stealing a relic that can cause sandstorms, along with another relic of your choice.
(NOTE: It must be able to either manipulate your surroundings or influence varying weather patterns.)
However, after a much needed blessing gifted to you by the sun god, Ra, you prepare to embark on a journey, one of utmost importance, to scavenge for mercenaries or even friends to create an army. War is a wager, and the dice must be rolled in opposition towards the "sun titan".

~

CS Example:

[Name] (Preferably Arabic or Egyptian.): Wosret.

[Ability relic]: Able to shift sands to create golems.

[Bio]: Once a king with his very own manor, Wosret was caught trying to snatch the/a relic for his own purposes during war and is now left with nothing but the clothes on his back.

(Editor's note: Sorry if I misinterpreted some of what you were trying to say!)
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vamking12 is not online. vamking12
Joined: 08 May 2010
Total Posts: 17651
21 Mar 2014 03:30 PM
This isn't good
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