Arkanorum
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| Joined: 22 Jul 2013 |
| Total Posts: 178 |
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| 24 Dec 2013 08:27 AM |
all on one thread
I'm olfrin
[PROLOUGE] [ENTER OLFRIN]
Olfrin: two war clans both alike in stubbornness in fair roblox where we ruin our outside life from ancient grude break to new ro-war where JCs skill makes JC unclean from forth the ancient loins of these two foes a pair of star-crossed bb's take their friendship whose misadventured piteous overthrows do with their hate bury their groups strife the fearful passage of their death-marked friendship and the continuence of their war-clans rage which but their end nought could remove the fact that JC is still a war clan the which if you raid too much you too will become a cobra
SCENE 1
[big fight boom bang scream pew pew] [tza v prosperity] [scene: tza's old fort]
ENTER Tzakouza, AdricalMKIV, Exterity
Exterity: tzakouza you fool, the hate I bare thee can afford no better term than this: you are a villain
Tzakouza: what does any of that mean
AdricalMKIV: DRAW YOUR BLADE EXTERITY AND FACE US LIKE A MANATEE WOULD
Exterity: you first you snake twiddler
AdricalMKIV: [DRAWS] you villain!
Tzakouza: BRB need to go do dishes
Tzakouza is now AFK
[Exterity & Adrical now fight, adrical gets a stab wound to the chest and falls
Exterity: I WARNED YOU BROTHER (plot twist: exterity and adrical are brothers]
Tzakouza is no longer AFK
Tzakouza: WHAT HAVE YOU DONE
Exterity: I am your father tzakouza (plot twist: adrical was tzakouza's uncle)
Tzakouza: no idc about that i mean why would you do that when im afk come on dude
Exterity: You should have thaught twice before [Sniffle, tear] you banned Christmas
Tzakouza: that was a joke you infidel
Exterity: YOU SHOULD NOT HAVE BANNED CHRISTMAS
Tzakouza: infidel exterity puts on shades and walks away in slow mo
Silentswords: It's wijmas!
SCENE 2
[in the TZA emperors throne rally room place] [discussing polotics of roblox]
ENTER Tzakouza, Relictus, Gore (whatever his name was), Tza Guy 1, Tza Guy 2
tzakouza: right then, we need to come up with new ways on how we can conquer roblox
tza guy 1: conquer RT and enslave them
tza guy 2: make all the females distract the cobras if you know what I mean :)))))
relictus: express our feelings in a joyful manner if you know what I mean also
tzakouza: ya i no but we need to conquer clans first
relictus: how about prosperity
tzakouza: whats a prosperity
tza guy 1: GASP GASP GASP GPASPPGAGPS
???: YOU DONT KNOW WHAT A PROSPERITY IS!?!?!?!?!?
[the mist clears and it turns out to be emperorlexus]
tza guy 2: RUN RUN RUNRN!!!
lexus: don't you understand tzakouza, if you conquered a group, the entire matter of the galaxy will change, VAK will become like the TGI, TGI will become like the VAK, RSF will become like the GG, GG will become like the dirt, and dirt will become like the JC
tzakouza: lexus join me and we can conquer roblox together
???: not if i can help it
[MIST SLOWLY CLEARS AWAY TO REVEAL ANTAGONISE]
relictus: GASP that's such a big bomb he's carrying I will help lift it for him IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN :DDDDDD
[antagonise thawks her out of the way]
antagonise: you fools, tzakouza is not your god, you're all kids on a kids computer game, where is the social life, you're all playing with pixel & toy guns, and in WIJ's case with toy snakes IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN :)))))))) so now I shall have to kill you all
relictus: antagonise nooooooooooo
antagonise: ALLAHU ACKBARRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
[dusty wasteland, enter tzakouza]
tzakouza: scrows my lov, we shall be together again
[Enter pspjohn1, CADET 1, CADET 2, CADET 342, hammer124]
pspjohn1: CADETS, if you haven't heard already, my snake is a little shaken and has shrivled, after learning that 1/5th of the clan world has been destroyed by a nuke carried by a kamehame bomber, this proves that we are not ready for another attack from the chineese.
hammer124: Now if you didn't know, in china, everyone looks exactly the same. use this to your advantage to determine the chineese from the indeean.
CADET 1: raises hand*
hammer124: speak
CADET 1: who was the JC guy in the video at bloxcon where the JC kid is like 'WE MUST STOP ADMIN ABUSE TODAY' and expected a legitimate result and builderman was crying
pspjohn1: that's hunterbeastkiller124, and we hereby disown him for that reason
hammer124: agreed
CADET 2: SIR SIR SIR I can help unravel your snake for you :)))))))
pspjohn1: cadet, back in your cage it's not night yet :))))
pspjohn1 to hammer
pspjohn1: pssst, hammer, remember the time I said I would keep all JC girls inside our fort at all times? *murmur muffle muffle*
[Footsteps and squeeling can be heard from outside the gate] [Enter TZAKOUZA, tza guy 1, tza guy 2]
tzakouza: right now before you ask why we're here I have concluded that the guy who raided us was a JC so we're here to take revenge
tza guy 1: how can you say that he wasn't wearing a jc uniform and he specifically mentioned he hated jc
FLASHBACK
-bomb has a picture of pspjohn1 on a wrecking ball-
FLASHBACK OVER
tzakouza: yes but its reverse phycology! so he was indeed a cobra but he tried to trick us which failed
tza guy 2: right
tzakouza: JOHN, give us your crates full of females and we'll let you llive
pspjohn1 to hammer124
pspjohn1: hammer, I've rounded up all the women in JC, and we've achieved a total of 2 women, our plan didn't work
hammer124: that means that even if we do defeat tza here and now we won't have enough women :(((((
pspjohn1: well the rest will have to starve then
tzakouza: give me your women john now!
pspjohn1: TZAKOUZA, WE HAVE NO WOMEN, TRUST US PLEASE AND WE'LL GIVE YOU OUR SNIPER VIP FOR 5 TIX INSTEAD OF 1000 ROBUX
tzakouza: lies! my army of 9 remaining people shall destroy your 60k army by tearing it apart!
[JC ON THE WALLS, DEFENDING FROM TZA]
pspjohn1: we can win here guys stick to the plan
cadet 1: PLZ TAKE ME IN TZA I WANT TO BE WITH YOU AND OD YOUR FEMALE KIN
cadet 2: AHHHHGHH IM HIT GIVE ME MEDIC
hammer124: you have full health dude
cadet 2: AGHHHHHHH
cadet 3: AIRSTRIKE INBOUND PEW PEW BOOM FSFSFSFSFS
pspjohn1: dude pay attention
cadet 1: sir my cobra has been blown off what should I do
cadet 1 bleeds to death
hammer124: CADET 1 NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
[PEW PEW BOOM BOOM SQUEEL fighting between tza and jc] [TZA gain the flag]
[ENTER tzakouza, pspjohn1, hammer124, cadet 2, cadet 3, tza guy 1, tza guy 2]
tzakouza: JOHN, THIS IS YOUR LAST CHANCE, GIVE US YOUR WOMEN AND WE'LL LET YOU FREE
tza guy 1: you never told us why we want the women of JC
tza guy 2: yeah they're probably horrible and both lez so they wont be interested in us
tzakouza: it all started when the fire nation attacked and took away my scrows, and I believe that scrows fled away from the fire nation by hiding among the women of JC, disguising himself as one of them, we're here to take him back and restore several hundred plotholes
pspjohn1: MEN, GET READY TO CHARGE
hammer124: you forgot sir two of them are roleplaying and one of them had his cobra shot off
pspjohn1: i was referring to you ----______----
hammer124: but im not a soldier
pspjohn1: THREE, TWO, ONE, CHAAAAAAAAAARGE
[FIGHTING WAGES ON FOR JUST UNDER 2 HOURS]
tzakouza: why haven't we won yet
pspjohn1: HAH, I BROKE THE FLAG'S SCRIPT SO YOU WILL NEVER WIN
tzakouza: seems like another endurance war; just like VAK
tza guy 1: vak? sounds like fun can i have one?
tza guy 2: you simpleton he's talking about VAKdonalds for a vakkiemeal
pspjohn1: they're worse than our men
cadet 3: sir the air backup isn't coming but we've got worse
pspjohn1: our women escaped!??!?!?
hammer124: told you we needed to get a blowpipe trap IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN :)
tzakouza: :)
hammer124: :)))
tzakouza: :DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
hammer124: ::::::::::::::::DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
cadet 3: sir please VAK are here, even vaktus is here
[RAIDERS BASE] [ENTER Vaktus, VAK 1, VAK 2, VAK 3, ENCHANTEDSYRUP!?!?!?!??!11/1/1
Vaktus: LINE UP YOU FOOLS
VAK 1: YES MA'AM
VAK 2: secretly i'm very lonely
Vaktus: we are raiding JC today to learn of one thing: where john keeps his hordes of women, whom we'll potentially sell to china, as they've been trying to get their hands on them for years (IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN :))))
VAK 3: what will we do with the money sir
Vaktus: i think you know :33333
three vaks: heuheuhuehuehuehuehueu
Vaktus: now, Salute formation
[ hovercraft appears in the air and Enchantedsyrup jumps from it (AMAZING IF YOU GET THIS IMPOSSIBLE REFERENCE)]
Enchantedsyrup pulls out a knife and kills everyone before being knifed by a respawning VAK
Vak 3: DUE TO YOUR IMPERTINENCE (all true) we will wait 5 minutes before you deserve the glory of battling our long, venomous snakes!
[ENTER Pspjohn1, tzakouza, hammer124]
Pspjohn1 with binoculars*: aw that would have been such fun
hammer124: sir, they've all got vaccines, they'de be bad for you
pspjohn1: true, (to tzakouza) WE MUST ALLY IF WE ARE TO ESCAPE OUT OF THIS)
tzakouza: aye but only if you give me a share of THE REWARDS if you know what I mean :)))))) its still fun even if they're dead :DDDDD
pspjohn1: yes, bring your men to their base
[Enter Pspjohn1, soldiers combined, hammer124, Vaktus, Vakkies combined]
Vaktus: TEN....NINE....EIGHT....SEVEN
pspjohn1 whispering: we'll catch them by surprise
[Soldiers climb over gates]
Vakkies combined turn around: we're not ready! we're too young for that! stop
Vaktus: WE SURRENDER, take a vakkiemeal as a peace offering
tzakouza: TIME TO TAKE OFF THE MASK, you snake-twiddler
[tkes off mask]
Soldiers: GASP GASP GASP GASP GASP
Pspjohn1: OMG I MUST TELL THIS TO THE FORUMS IN A DEPRESSING WAY BRB
tzakouza: oh my...ITS....ITS.... SCROWS!
[raider's base] [ENTER tzakouza, scrows, pspjohn1, hammer124]
tzakouza: WHYDE YOU DO IT MELVIN
scrows: [STEREOTYPICAL BRITISH ACCENT] A would have gotten away with it too if it weren't for your meddling snakes if you know what A mean a????????
tzakouza: WHY MELVIN, WHY DID YOU BETRAY ME
scrows: im sorry kouza but i do not lov you, there is only one i love
tzakouza: who?????
scrows: ANTAGONISE. you killed him, and now because of this you have messed up the world of clans: the dirt is now a cobra
pspjohn1: thats good for us
scrows: no john, the dirt is...MALE
pspjohn1: noooooooooooo our only chance
scrows: and i am not melvin!!!
tzakouza: i lov you melvin but you cant keep doing that come on
[LEXUS APPEARS]
lexus: kouza, i'm here to finish what we started
tzakouza: but we're like 3/4ths through the story and we only just found melvin you cant kill me
lexus: im sorry kouza but you must die to restore the clan world to its natural order
tzakouza: LITTLE DID YOU KNOW LEXUS, YOU CAN'T CATCH ME, I'M THE GINGERBREAD MAN TEEHEHEHEHEEEEHEEHEEE (tip toes off at a walkspeed of 300)
tza soldiers: blasting off again ping
pspjohn1: scrows, we must take you hostage, and when we do, JC will become top of the clan world
scrows: ok - don't touch me there john what are you doing john please john no have mercy your snake...your snake...no...arg!!!!!!ifyouknowwhatimean!!!!
scrows faints
hammer124: what do you intend to do with the body sir
pspjohn1: we will use it to bring all the vakkie women here via aBROADcast, and then you know the rest >:)))))
lexus: sorry john but i must take the body for prosperity purposes
pspjohn1: no you can't
[SMOKE SUDDENLY FILLS THE AREA, A MISTY FIGURE APPEARS]
???: i must take the body
??? picks up body and slowly walks away, the mist clears slightly
hammer124: WAIT....CADET 1 IS THAT YOU
cadet 1: yes [stereotypical high pitched german accent] i must take him to mein herr overlord, criminalise aber antagonise
pspjohn1: we thaught you died!
cadet 1: NEIN, you left me in zhe dirt! and zhen antagonise appearz above me, and he iz like: 'o ya they betray u just like me tragic storyline cry join me much power give you make you german' and i accept, now i am ztronk az a manatee! hahahahaha
pspjohn1: cadet 1... you've gone mad with power!
cadet 1: oh ja and mein herrs told me to give fort fang a present: the kameinlykarekingbal nuke [picture of John swinging on a wreckling ball]
hammer124: sir, that was the exact same nuke antagonise used to destroy the tza fort
cadet 1: ja, gutennacht john and friends!!!!!
lexus: im sorry john, only one of us can escape
[LEXUS hops into the ladder car, driving away] [cadet 1 flys away in a helicopter out of nowhere]
hammer124: john, these are our last moments together, I've always wanted to tell you that...i don't have a snake (KNOW WHAT I MEAN YET? :)))))
pspjohn1: YOU WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT? [BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM]
[at antagonise, criminalise and cadet 1's secret fortress under SMO (check there in the actual place and you'll find its there with pictures of john, vaktus, silentswords: all in their boxers)]
[ENTER Scrows, Antagonise, Criminalise & Cadet 1]
antagonise: Melvin, we meet at long last
scrows: im not melvin why do you keep calling me that
cadet 1: VE VANT YOU HERE TO PERVORM EIN ECKZPLIZIT TAZK OF WHITEMAILING OTHERS INTO GIVING US CONTROL OF C&G
criminalise: he hasn't figured out yet that they don't care what happens!!!
scrows: why me ive done nothing wrong
antagonise: YOU'VE BEEN A BAD MELVIN, and after the nuke went off, I survived, criminalise here turning me into a cyborg pigeon [PLOT TWIST: antagonise's new body is a cyborg pigeon with antagonise's old brain]. we figured tzakouza owns the clan world for whatever-reason which will probably be filled in a different plot hole filler, and we figured you, melvin, were his true luver
scrows: i don't even know him until now what
criminalise: SILENCE MELVIN
[kinkyslap several times]
[ENTER tzakouza, who survived again, in the ruins of fort-fang]
Tzakouza: ahem ahem ahem my true luv scrows you are as beutifl as crows oh my luvly scrows wont you please shove our past right up your noseeeeeee? [i know what you were thinking] now i know i have been bad its really rather grand if you thinkkk abouttt ittttttt please dear scrows wont you play a card game with meee a childish one, just you wait and seeeeeeeeeee we'll call it yu-gi-oh it wont be dangerous oh-no and then will you forgive meeeeee
[PIECE OF PAPER DRIFTS THROUGH THE AIR AND HITS tzakouza IN THE FACE]
tzakouza: ow, whats this
the paper reads 'LOL LOZER ON A COMPUTER GAME ROFL XD XD NICE LIFE!!!!!'
tzakouza: why you little
he throws the paper on the ground in anger, but he notices something on the other side: a letter from antagonise
antagonise says: DEAR KOUZA, WE HAVE YOUR SCROWS, MEET US AT THE BOTTOM OF VAK SMO TO FIND HIM
tzakouza: -puts on shades- its go time
after a long adventure, tzakouza makes it to SM
tzakouza: ok so im looking for a basement, and if im right there should be no vak here
cadet 1 appears, with a giant sword and wings!!!!
cadet 1: OH JA WE MUZT MAKE EPIC FIGHT ZCENE NOW OH JA
tzakouza pulls out sword
/watch?v=FAVwPR5E8wM for fight
SPOILER IF HAVENT WATCHED VIDEO: cadet 1 turns out to be sephiroth on roblox?????!?!?!?!?! (ive never played that game but ya, the chanting in the background music is saying 'cadet 1' not 'sephiroth')
tzakouza finds a map to the basement of smo on cadet 1's body, which he then proceeds to follow
VAK SMO BASEMENT: the main colours are pink and purple the walls are covered with pictures of clan leaders in boxers - there are coathangers with whips dangling from them and leather straps too
tzakouza: look at these pictures... oh god what is john doing to bobo!?!?!?!?
tzakouza ruffles behind one of the pictures and finds a small, golden statue of vaktus with nothing but his mask on
tzakouza: scrows... still fashionable i see!!!!
tzakouza presses a button at the bottom of the statue, opening a wall up, inside is scrows dangling from chains and antagonise & criminalise
criminalise: tzakouza!!! you fool, with me and antagonises combined power, you cannot beat us!!!! scrows is ours to play with
antagonise: wait what
criminalise: and we shall kill you so we may have him ourselves!
ant & crim: COMBINED POWERS UNITED
antagonise & criminalise merge and form together, forming none other than the Third Leg Ultimus bot: a giant hairy 'leg', containing the strength of 1000 sea manatees!
tzakouza: very well, fight! draws blade*
[CRUSH POOSH PEW PEW PEW SLING SPLASH ooh aah BANG, BANG, thud, eeeek, squeal, PEW PEW, sling]
tzakouza comes out victorious
Tzakouza: scrows my love, we are together at last
scrows: you stopped calling me melvin, and free me from here pls
tzakouza cuts scrows loose*
scrows: thank you but i do not love you
tzakouza: scrows, i'm sorry, but you are not leaving here with your dignity
scrows: what
tzakouza chains scrows up to a pole and leather straps his arms together
scrows: what are you doing kouza
tzakouza: scrows, i lov you this much
tzakouza begins to take off his leather jeans & jacket
scrows: oh no
tzakouza slowly reveals everything before scrow's eyes
scrows: PLEASE HAVE MERCY
tzakouza: you know too much to leave here alive
tzakouza picks up the whip and gets ever so closer to scrows
scrows: NO STOP PLEASE IM BEGGING YOU
it was several years before scrows was ever seen again: C&Gers claim to have seen him in forests around TGI's forts, wearing nothing, but quickly leaping into a bush and running away when spotted
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