generic image
Processing...
  • Games
  • Catalog
  • Develop
  • Robux
  • Search in Players
  • Search in Games
  • Search in Catalog
  • Search in Groups
  • Search in Library
  • Log In
  • Sign Up
  • Games
  • Catalog
  • Develop
  • Robux
   
ROBLOX Forum » Role-Playing
Home Search
 

[ Content Deleted ]

Previous Thread :: Next Thread 
tezakat is not online. tezakat
Joined: 13 Sep 2013
Total Posts: 1301
19 Mar 2014 03:51 PM
She sat in the den, avoiding the outdoors, which was unusually dark and stormy for a mid-afternoon. The wind howled past her window as she sat at her computer desk, fooling around on Roblox. While doing her normal routine of roleplaying after checking her messages, the speakers began to act up. It started off as a quiet hum, but gradually crescendoed louder and louder. The speakers were now buzzing and crackling, along with a ringing which sounded like that in the ear after a day in the crowd. As the speakers multiplied their volume by the minute, she decided to call the computer help operator. The operator began to answer the call, but was cut off. At that same instant, she heard the screams on the other lines: "WHAT IS THAT NOISE?!" and "MAKE IT STOP! MAKE IT STOP! MAKE IT~" All in that instant, the speakers roared the loudest they ever were and ever would be again; the computer screen went blindingly white; the overhead light went so bright that it shattered; there was thunder rumbling and shaking the house; the lightning flashed viciously; the screams got louder! The noise was deafening! The light was more than blinding! I feared for my life!!!

Then, everything stopped.
The voices cut off.
The speakers went dead.
The power shut off.
The storm halted.
Time itself went still.
A single voice spoke. "Good night ... Forever."
Too late I realized that the dark voice was directly behind me, and I felt a dull pain as the floor spiraled to my face, and the world went spinning into darkness.
Report Abuse
tezakat is not online. tezakat
Joined: 13 Sep 2013
Total Posts: 1301
19 Mar 2014 05:34 PM
This was inspired by a really strange dream. :P I modified the story to make it better and less random tho ^.^
Report Abuse
eikoopmit is not online. eikoopmit
Joined: 10 Oct 2012
Total Posts: 3499
19 Mar 2014 05:38 PM
[ Content Deleted ]
Report Abuse
vamking12 is not online. vamking12
Joined: 08 May 2010
Total Posts: 17651
19 Mar 2014 05:39 PM
I love it.
Report Abuse
mageofpower is not online. mageofpower
Top 100 Poster
Joined: 01 Feb 2009
Total Posts: 43654
19 Mar 2014 05:40 PM
Indeed. What a wonderful little place this is.
Report Abuse
eikoopmit is not online. eikoopmit
Joined: 10 Oct 2012
Total Posts: 3499
19 Mar 2014 05:40 PM
[ Content Deleted ]
Report Abuse
mageofpower is not online. mageofpower
Top 100 Poster
Joined: 01 Feb 2009
Total Posts: 43654
19 Mar 2014 05:46 PM
Oh. OP. Quick question. If your protagonist dies how is he speaking in the first person?
Report Abuse
WiFiKing42 is not online. WiFiKing42
Joined: 29 Nov 2011
Total Posts: 19098
19 Mar 2014 05:47 PM
Oh. OP. Quick question. If your protagonist dies how is he speaking in the first person?

past tense.
Report Abuse
eikoopmit is not online. eikoopmit
Joined: 10 Oct 2012
Total Posts: 3499
19 Mar 2014 05:48 PM
[ Content Deleted ]
Report Abuse
WiFiKing42 is not online. WiFiKing42
Joined: 29 Nov 2011
Total Posts: 19098
19 Mar 2014 05:49 PM
@tim

This is just a preparation zone for the true Hell.
Report Abuse
mageofpower is not online. mageofpower
Top 100 Poster
Joined: 01 Feb 2009
Total Posts: 43654
19 Mar 2014 05:50 PM
past tense.

He's dead. Who's he speaking to?

Maybe he's explaining why he dies so that he can go to heaven and not purgatory.

Meh. I suppose that's a good an answer as any.
Report Abuse
eikoopmit is not online. eikoopmit
Joined: 10 Oct 2012
Total Posts: 3499
19 Mar 2014 05:51 PM
[ Content Deleted ]
Report Abuse
WiFiKing42 is not online. WiFiKing42
Joined: 29 Nov 2011
Total Posts: 19098
19 Mar 2014 05:54 PM
He's dead. Who's he speaking to?

He's in front of St Peter, who is judging where he should go.

@tim

Because life is the longest, freaking test. Ever.
Report Abuse
eikoopmit is not online. eikoopmit
Joined: 10 Oct 2012
Total Posts: 3499
19 Mar 2014 05:55 PM
[ Content Deleted ]
Report Abuse
WiFiKing42 is not online. WiFiKing42
Joined: 29 Nov 2011
Total Posts: 19098
19 Mar 2014 05:57 PM
I can't. That's cheating.
Report Abuse
eikoopmit is not online. eikoopmit
Joined: 10 Oct 2012
Total Posts: 3499
19 Mar 2014 05:58 PM
[ Content Deleted ]
Report Abuse
WiFiKing42 is not online. WiFiKing42
Joined: 29 Nov 2011
Total Posts: 19098
19 Mar 2014 05:59 PM
I know.

I'm getting ready for a party.
Report Abuse
eikoopmit is not online. eikoopmit
Joined: 10 Oct 2012
Total Posts: 3499
19 Mar 2014 06:22 PM
[ Content Deleted ]
Report Abuse
tezakat is not online. tezakat
Joined: 13 Sep 2013
Total Posts: 1301
20 Mar 2014 03:51 PM
I am indeed new, and I'll probably stay. And ... What's with the "new to writing" thing? Is it really that bad?! I mean, I haven't written a ton of stuff, but I'm better at writing than I used to be :/
Report Abuse
unic is not online. unic
Joined: 25 Jan 2012
Total Posts: 109
20 Mar 2014 04:21 PM
This story for some reason Reminds me of Creepypasta's.

But apart from that, this is Amazing. This could be turned into a Story. (If it isn't one.)

P.S Thanks for the Puncake, Tez. =3

~Unic
Report Abuse
tezakat is not online. tezakat
Joined: 13 Sep 2013
Total Posts: 1301
20 Mar 2014 04:54 PM
:D
Thanks and you're welcome!
Report Abuse
Kipec is not online. Kipec
Joined: 25 Nov 2010
Total Posts: 10272
20 Mar 2014 05:10 PM
ye ye i iz good un frms
Report Abuse
timpookie is not online. timpookie
Joined: 18 Aug 2011
Total Posts: 21924
20 Mar 2014 05:16 PM
It's not that it's a bad story... I mean, it'd probably get you a good mark in a school paper, it's just that some people here have EXTREMELY high expectations... But it's okay, live up to those expectations and you'll be pro quality, or almost there.

Bannanachair 10K unleashed! Vote: http://strawpoll.me/1338007
Report Abuse
tezakat is not online. tezakat
Joined: 13 Sep 2013
Total Posts: 1301
20 Mar 2014 05:56 PM
Well, high expectations push the performer to work harder and be stronger! ;-; So, I'll do my best at my stories, and if people don't like it, instead of complaining, they can give advice! Constructive criticism is good too ^_^
Report Abuse
TheSneakyLizard is not online. TheSneakyLizard
Joined: 16 Sep 2012
Total Posts: 2189
20 Mar 2014 05:59 PM
To be honest, I've never seen an RP-subforum-newbie write so good. Usually, they write somewhat like this:

ther is exploosin an wurld bloez up

But yours is different altogether.

THIS

IS

WONDERFUL
Report Abuse
Previous Thread :: Next Thread 
Page 1 of 1
 
 
ROBLOX Forum » Role-Playing
   
 
   
  • About Us
  • Jobs
  • Blog
  • Parents
  • Help
  • Terms
  • Privacy

©2017 Roblox Corporation. Roblox, the Roblox logo, Robux, Bloxy, and Powering Imagination are among our registered and unregistered trademarks in the U.S. and other countries.



Progress
Starting Roblox...
Connecting to Players...
R R

Roblox is now loading. Get ready to play!

R R

You're moments away from getting into the game!

Click here for help

Check Remember my choice and click Launch Application in the dialog box above to join games faster in the future!

Gameplay sponsored by:
Loading 0% - Starting game...
Get more with Builders Club! Join Builders Club
Choose Your Avatar
I have an account
generic image